Only As A Guest
by herinfiniteeyes
Summary: Bella and Jake are on tour with his band, Wolf Runner. When another band joins them on tour, Bella's attraction for Edward forces her to question her life with Jake. Rated M for mature. Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

BPOV

I shifted yet again, trying to get comfortable on the van's hard bench seat. My butt was already numb, so it should have been easier. We had been on the road for eight hours today already, and we were only just nearing the city limits of Seattle.

It was Embry's turn to drive, since Jake and Quil were usually the ones to take the night shifts. Seth lay curled up in the front seat, trying to huddle into his hooded sweatshirt since it was October and the heater on the van had crapped out a week ago. I could see a faint line of drool coming from one corner of his slack mouth. Quil was sprawled out in the middle bench seat, snoring loudly and occasionally kicking his feet.

Jake's head was in my lap while he, too, was zonked out. I turned to look out the window, eager to see Seattle, but mostly just wanting very badly to get out of the van. Even though I'd lived in Washington her whole life, and I'd been a million places while on tour with Jake's band, Wolf Runner, Seattle was still my favorite city.

Just then, Embry hit a bump on I-5, causing Jake to startle. He slowly sat up and looked around with a dazed expression on his face. The side of his hair that had been pressed to my lap was sticking straight up, while the other side lay perfectly shellacked on his head. Jake hardly ever let me play with his hair, unless it was the heat of the moment. I really didn't mind, though, seeing as how I would just end up with a bunch of sticky goop on my hands anyway. Jake's sleepy gaze turned to me and he smiled. He scooted next to me and threw his arm around my shoulders.

"Ready to rock Seattle?" He asked.

"Yeah, I guess. I just really want a shower, a decent meal, and I _really _want to see some of Seattle before we have to leave again," I responded.

"Yeah, I could totally go for a shower. This van is starting to smell like dirty ass and it's totally sick. I dunno about getting to see much of Seattle, but I'll know once we have the set schedule. We're supposed to be hooking up with Volterra once we get there, so I guess we'll just have to see how everything goes."

Volterra was another local hardcore band that was gaining popularity since their indie release started taking off on the charts. Wolf Runner's record label was interested in signing them, so they were going to invite them on tour with Jake's band to see how crowds responded. If it went well, they were going to be very lucky boys. Even though Wolf Runner was still relatively unknown in the mainstream media, they had gained a big underground following that would probably take off after the release of the movie they did a song for on the soundtrack. Volterra could probably expect the same success.

I had never met the guys in Volterra, but I knew that they had gotten together around the same time Jake's band started playing shows in and around Olympia. They were from Forks, while Jake's band was from the La Push reservation. My dad, Charlie, lived on the outskirts of the reservation because he liked the fishing out there. Jake and I graduated from high school a couple years ago, and we have been on tour ever since. Even though I wasn't in the band, I still went with them wherever they went. Most of the time, I helped load and unload the equipment or work the merch tables while the guys played. At twenty-one, I had already seen pretty much all the United States had to offer, and most of Canada too. I guess I was lucky to escape the boring dead-end jobs that plagued most early twenty-somethings I knew.

Jake was watching my face while I watched the road. We were getting closer to the venue. I saw a line of skinny kids with greasy black hair and tight pants starting to form outside. The show wouldn't even start for another three hours, but they were already out there freezing their butts off in anticipation. There were a couple other vans with trailers hooked up to them, similar to this van. Stickers and graffiti littered the walls and light posts surrounding the club. Embry drove in a couple circles and eventually found a spot close enough to the club to allow them to walk the rest of the way. Jake shoved Quil's feet off the seat, waking him up with a loud shout. Seth woke up at the same time, disrupted by Quil's loud grunt. Embry was already on the sidewalk, stretching his long legs and trying to get his hands to relax. He was the drummer, so he definitely needed the stretching.

I hopped out of the van, immediately wishing I had dug out my winter coat while we were at the truck stop earlier today. I shoved my hands deep into my Wolf Runner sweatshirt and grabbed my scarf, wrapping it around my neck while I walked over to Embry. "Thank god we're done driving for awhile, huh, Embry?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm just ready to play and I definitely need a freaking shower. I smell like ass!" he said. I laughed and went around the side of the van to get Jake.

"C'mon, let's go find coffee. I need something hot and caffeinated," I told him. Jake grabbed my small hand in his big ham-sized fist and waved to the guys as we walked toward the corner. In Seattle, there were coffee places everywhere. We quickly found one and I got something to keep myself warm to wake me up. Driving all day in a car just made me feel lethargic and achy, and I was never comfortable enough to sleep. It was already hard for me to get enough rest in the hotels, but it was nearly impossible to get any sleep on the nights the band decided to drive straight through to the next gig. I was rarely asked to drive, mostly because I was a danger magnet and nobody wanted a delay to fix the van in case I managed to do something… like that time in Hartford. I shook my head at myself, laughing and cringing at the memory.

We made our way back to the venue, Jake helping me stay warm with his arm around my waist. I snuggled into his side, grateful for his endless supply of body heat. He dwarfed me completely, standing over a foot taller than me and outweighing me by at least a hundred pounds. I loved feeling delicate and female when I was with him, but sometimes I couldn't help but feel like the little woman when he was in one of his overbearing moods. Those moods were coming more often in the last couple of years, courtesy of us being on tour and Jake thinking that meant he was supposed to be my father _and _my boyfriend. I tried not to mind too much because I knew Jake's heart was made of gold. We'd been together since we were kids, it never occurred to me that things would ever change. I shrugged, thinking we'd probably end up married in the next few years… we'd probably even have a kid if he was ever done touring. I was just waiting for him to settle down, and then I knew he would be ready for the future.

We went inside, and after a quick kiss, Jake left me to go find the rest of the band. I made my way to the tables shoved haphazardly against the back wall facing the stage and sat down. The waiting had begun. Day in and day out, every city, every venue, I would sit and wait for Jake. I never expected anything else, but it did get very boring.

Then I saw them.

Walking into the club were five insanely beautiful people, all around my age. The tallest, beefiest one led the way. He had curly brown hair and muscles that strained the seams of his snug black t-shirt. His arms were corded with muscles and covered in tattoos. He had an excited gleam in his eye, and the smile on his face made him appear approachable. Behind him, holding his hand, was a breathtaking blonde with delicate features wearing a tight black t-shirt that said Volterra on it. I quickly scanned the rest of the group, trying not to stare. Following the blonde was another guy, also beautiful and golden-haired. He was tall and lanky, his hair messy enough to make me think he had just woken up. He was holding a tiny pixie tight to his side, smiling down at her. She had short black hair and beautiful porcelain skin. Her skin glowed, unlike my pale skin.

Following them was the most amazingly beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on. I've never seen hair that color. It was bronze, a deep, rich bronze. It looked carefully mussed; as if he had spent hours either fixing it in the mirror or running his hands through it in agitation. I couldn't see him very well from my seat, because he was angled behind the rest of the group, but I recognized the Wolf Runner t-shirt he was wearing because I had designed it myself.

I watched as they walked over to Jake's band and started shaking their hands. I didn't know if they were one of the bands playing tonight, but I did know that I hoped I wouldn't have to meet any of them. I was definitely too dirty, too plain, too boring to be introduced to such beautiful people who seemed to fill the room with their…beauty. Damn, I was starting to sound like an idiot even inside my own head. I really, really hoped that Jake wouldn't make me come meet these people.

"Hey Bella," Jake shouted, "come meet the band we're gonna be touring with!"

I groaned. My hair was hanging down my back, a little too oily to be considered lustrous. My clothes were in need of a Laundromat. I huddled into my hoodie, hoping I didn't stink like the rest of the guys. I always tried to wash up whenever we stopped for the day, whether it was by taking a shower or just washing as much of my body as I could in the bathroom sinks. Still, I probably smelled like a bunch of dirty boy armpits. I surreptitiously tried to sniff My shoulder while I dragged my feet toward the stage. All I could smell was the faint scent of my strawberry shampoo, so I hoped that meant I wasn't too ripe.

Finally, I was standing in front of Jake. He laughed at my disgruntled expression and laid his hand on the small of my back, turning me so she could meet Volterra. I could barely make eye contact; I felt like my face was on fire. My eyes burned from their magnificence. I was standing entirely too close. This must be why people aren't supposed to look directly at the sun, I mused.

"Er, hi… I'm Bella," I managed to get out.

The bodybuilder guy leading the band chuckled in a friendly way and reached out to pat my shoulder. "Nice to meet you, Bella! I guess we'll all be going on tour together, huh?" he said. "Anyway, my name's Emmett, this is my girlfriend Rosalie. That's Jasper, Rosie's brother, and my sister Alice… and this is my brother, Edward. Everyone's in the band, except Rosie, but she does our merch so she can come with us."

My gaze drifted nervously over each person as they were introduced. Rosalie looked slightly bored, Jasper was laughing at something Alice said, and Edward was looking around the club. My breath caught in my throat as I stared at him; he was even more amazing up close. I could see now that his eyes were a warm golden color. He seemed preoccupied, so I took the opportunity to look at him closely. His face 

was immaculate, perfectly symmetrical as if an artist had carved him from stone with close attention to detail. His forehead was smooth and untroubled, his eyebrows had a slightly wicked arch, and his nose was perfectly straight. His cheekbones were high and chiseled; his jaw was squared very slightly. His mouth was sinful. His lips looked full and firm, and they were slightly pushed up at the sides as if he was amused. His smile grew wider and I gasped, my eyes snapping back up to his as I realized that I had been caught staring. I blushed again and he chuckled. I quickly averted my gaze and turned into Jake's arm, burying my face in his chest. I hated acting so meek, but something about Edward was just too much for me. I couldn't figure it out, but I immediately felt like something within me had shifted irrevocably.

EPOV

Emmett was pushing the van as fast as it could go. I could see his foot pressed all the way to the floor on the accelerator. "Em, you know if you break this van, we won't have a van for the tour. The tour we're leaving for _tonight_," I emphasized.

"Aw, Eddie, you know we'll just buy another one after the show. Besides, we're gonna be late if I don't go fast!" he griped. Emmett didn't need any excuses to speed, none of us did, really. We were united in our love of anything fast or risky. Our parents didn't like it, but we did our best to be safe even while pulling stunts most people wouldn't dream of.

I looked back from the front seat to see Jasper looking uncomfortable with his long legs shoved behind Emmett's seat. He had his arms crossed over his chest and his head rested against the window while he tried to catch some sleep on our way to Seattle. In the seat behind him sat Alice and Rosalie, both chatting animatedly about their latest shopping trip. Alice was scheming to figure out how to escape before the show so she could go back to the store they were at the day before. Something told me she would find a way. Where there was an Alice, there was a shopping spree ready to happen. Rosalie was leaning back with her feet propped up behind Jasper's head. "Hey, Edward, do you think this Wolf Runner band will be cool? We've never met them. What if they are a bunch of assholes?" she asked.

I just shook my head. "I haven't met them personally, but I really dig their music. They might be cool, I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I'm sure if you don't like them Emmett will scare them all off. I doubt anyone's going to piss you off with Em around," I said.

I could see our bags shoved haphazardly into the very back of the van. Most of it belonged to Alice and Rosalie. You would think we were moving our entire household across the country based on the amount of clothing they felt they needed to pack. All us guys needed was a few outfits, we knew we would be doing our laundry on the road. The rest of our stuff was in the trailer with our equipment. I knew we would probably be leaving for the tour after the show tonight, but none of us was sure how long we would be gone. This was our first tour with our potential label; we'd only ever been on independent tours before. I felt nerves hitting my stomach all of a sudden. I relaxed back in my seat and closed my eyes. I tried to breathe deeply and remind myself that this was exactly what all of us had been hoping for since forming the band a few years ago.

We'd steadily gained in popularity with the local venues and thanks to the full-length we put out last year, we were finally getting the attention we were hoping for. We had a respectable fan base. I guess it helped that were all blessed with great genes, or so our fans kept telling us. I, for one, never really understood or cared why girls would get into a band just because they thought the guys in it were "hot." Besides all the screaming girls shamelessly ogling us guys, there was a big following of guys interested in 

Alice. I frowned at some of the memories that cropped up at that thought. Guys hanging around outside clubs, trying to paw Alice after shows. Jasper, Emmett, and I have all had to step in repeatedly to get those hormonal bastards to leave her alone. Jasper kept a cool head, but you could always tell just how infuriating he found it to peel guys away from his girlfriend on a consistent basis. Rosalie always attracted insane amounts of attention as well. Emmett wasn't as mellow as Jasper, though. He was always ready and willing to throw a punch if anyone ever got out of line with his fiancée.

I sighed. My backside was getting numb from the seat. I was eager to get out and stretch my legs. I hated having to cram them into the van's limited legroom.

Finally, we hit Seattle and I watched out the window as we reached the club. I waited while everyone piled out of the van. I brought up the rear, not really noticing the frigid wind blowing through my hair and stinging my cheeks. I loved the bite in the air during the fall and winter months. I couldn't think of anything better than the first snow of the season.

We headed inside the club to meet the other band we were going on tour with. I had heard of them before our manager told us we'd be going on tour with them, and I really liked their music. I wore my Wolf Runner t-shirt in the hopes that they would see I respected them as musicians. We definitely wanted things to go smoothly over the course of the tour.

As soon as we walked in, I was hit with the smell of stale cigarette smoke and alcohol. I was familiar with this venue; I came to shows here a lot, especially in high school. The owner of the club had just sold it recently and changed the name. I was looking around to see if there were any other changes, and that's when I saw her.

She was reclining in a chair by one of the tables against the back wall. She was petite, probably a little under a foot shorter than I was. She had long brown hair that curled slightly as it fell over her back and shoulders. Her skin was delicate and pale; she looked tired and resigned. I wondered about that. Her eyes were too dark for me to see from where I was standing, but I could see her Wolf Runner sweatshirt. I wondered if she was in the band, or if she was just a fan. She was looking down at her feet when a slight blush crept across her cheeks. I felt the nerves in my stomach over the tour shift to nerves of an entirely different sort. I wanted to know her name. I wanted to hear her voice. I don't know what it was about her that got to me, but I just had to find out more about her.

I was distracted by Emmett greeting an enormous guy standing in front of the stage. He was surrounded by three other guys. They all had light brown skin and a couple of them had long black hair tied back in ponytails. I knew they were from La Push, so I assumed they were natives. I returned my eyes to the guy in front. He was about four inches taller than me, but he was heavily muscled and covered in tattoos. He wore the uniform of our type of music: black t-shirt, dark jeans, black and white Cons. I saw his hair was carefully combed into place. I didn't understand how some guys could wear so much crap in their hair. It looked really uncomfortable.

"Hey man," he greeted Emmett. They shook hands as he said, "I'm Jake. I'm the singer for Wolf Runner. This is Embry, he's the guitarist. That's Quil, he plays the bass. Seth is the drummer." As he pointed out his band mates, my eyes surreptitiously returned to the girl at the back of the club. Jake must have seen me look over, because he called for her to come over and meet us.

I felt my palms get sweaty, which was ridiculous. The stomach clenched as I watched her come closer. She looked nervous. I wondered if she was just intimidated by Emmett. He has that effect on people sometimes. I could tell by the way that Jake touched her they were together. I felt disappointment wash over me. I told myself to get it together; I'd only seen her once so how could I even feel envy? I didn't know her at all. I shifted my eyes around the club, trying to look at anything except her face. She was even more beautiful up close. I wanted to talk to her but with the way I was already reacting, I knew that was definitely a bad idea. I wasn't into messing with girls who were already taken.

When I was introduced to her, I brought my eyes back to look at her briefly. Her eyes were wide as she stared at me. I couldn't tell why she was staring, exactly, but she seemed mesmerized. I laughed, I couldn't help it. I guess I should be used to it by now but this girl's gaze was different. It made me feel hot. My skin prickled as her eyes roamed my face. I felt the heat rising up my back as I watched her, completely aware that I should look away but not willing to.

Finally, I became aware of my surroundings again. I smiled at Bella and quickly turned my attention to Alice and Jasper. I was definitely going to be staying away from her during the tour. The last thing I needed was drama or complications. This was my dream, and I wanted to see it happen.


	2. Mix Tapes and Drunk Girls

**Disclaimer: I forgot to add a disclaimer to my first chapter. Whoops! Anyway, we all know the drill. I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters. **

**I'm blown away by how many people have read this story so far and put it on their alerts! Thanks everyone! Just so we're clear, this isn't a song fic and it's definitely not going to be one anytime soon. I just love music and I wanted to write what I know. I hope you enjoy this second chapter!**

BPOV

The tour had been going on for about two weeks now. Things were still the same as before we had hooked up with Volterra, except now I had a couple of girl friends. Rose and Alice would drag me away from our men at every opportunity, citing the need to sample shopping in every single stop along our route. I had to remind them that space was limited, so Rose and I usually ended up just window-shopping. Alice, of course, bought things to her heart's content and then had it all shipped home. I just shook my head in exasperation as I thought of all the boxes she would have waiting for her once the tour was over.

Currently, we were at the post office trying to ship her most recent hoard of _stuff_. My mind boggled at the amount she had managed to pick up in the two hours of free time we had before we were due back at the club. I was standing there in line, letting my mind drift off into space as we waited to mail the boxes. Alice was tapping her foot impatiently, constantly checking the time in her need to get going. Rosalie just stood serenely twirling a lock of her long golden hair around one of her fingers. She didn't look stressed at all.

In my daydreaming, my mind drifted off toward a certain person with bronze hair and warm golden eyes. Edward was definitely the most amazingly beautiful person I'd ever seen, but he was still really stand-offish. I wanted to get to know him, but I knew that it was probably a bad idea because I was already thinking about him too much. Jake didn't seem to notice my sudden preoccupation, but I still felt guilty over it. I just wanted to be Edward's friend, that wouldn't be wrong, would it? I imagined us hanging out and joking around, talking about music and movies. I had long conversations with him in my mind, imagining myself as extra witty and intelligent so that he would be impressed. I tried to snap my mind back to the present. I knew what I was doing. I was getting a serious crush on Edward. I hadn't had a crush on anybody since I met Jake, and I didn't feel right about it. I nervously peeked at Alice and Rose, wondering if they could see the guilt written on my face.

Finally, the line moved and we were able to finish our business and head back toward the venue. The bands were playing the Midwest for the next couple of weeks, so the drive back was kind of boring and cold. The heater on the van still wasn't working, so the frigid air was biting into my skin through my thin layers of clothing. I don't know why I just didn't invest in some heavier clothes, for crying out loud. Lord knows I had plenty of band hoodies, but my winter coat was still shoved somewhere deep in the recesses of the van and I just didn't feel like digging it out.

We pulled up in front of the club and Alice and Rose gracefully exited the van. I, on the other hand, ended up caught in the seatbelt on my way because I'd forgotten to unbuckle it. My body weight was hurdled back into the seat and I blushed furiously. I looked around quickly to see if anybody had seen this, and to my immense embarrassment, I noticed Edward looking in my direction with a small smile on his face. He was standing next to one of the guys from the club, who was openly laughing at me. I ducked my head quickly, my armpits prickling in the heated blush that consumed my entire being. I quickly undid my seatbelt and stumbled onto the sidewalk, trying to avoid eye contact with Edward and Rude Dude. I shuffled toward the main entrance and went to look for Jake.

EPOV

Tour was going really well. I was meeting a lot of really awesome people and making really good contacts. I spent most of my time talking to the people running the venues and meeting other bands we met up with locally. I was talking to one of the managers of the venue we were playing tonight when I saw Wolf Runner's van park next to the curb. Alice was driving it like a maniac, naturally. I watched as Bella tried to climb down from the front seat and had to hide my chuckle when I saw her get caught in her seatbelt. That girl was definitely a klutz. _An adorable klutz_, a tiny voice in my mind whispered. I quickly tried to drown it out. I had no business thinking of someone else's girlfriend that way.

I sighed and turned back to Jared. We were talking about Volterra's next album and I was excitedly explaining the concept that had come to me in a big, elaborate dream one night. I had already finished the lyrics for most of the songs we wanted to put on it, but the music was still in the works. The theme was about a powerful group of Italian vampires called the Volturi who lived subversively among humans while trying to keep the vampire world a secret. They were evil and corrupt, and most of the songs were about the bad deeds they did. The last song was about the ultimate battle between good and evil where the Volturi meet their match against good vampires set on winning the war. I wanted to call the album _The Volturi_.

Jared was really into the idea, so I hoped that more people would be on board and get excited about our second album. I hoped that this one would be released on the label; I really wanted to see my brainchild get the treatment it deserved.

Jared and I walked back into the club and I scanned the room, my eyes inadvertently looking for Bella. I hated my reflex, but after just two weeks, I was already craving the sight of her face. I wanted to be her friend, or at least that's what I told myself. I knew what I really wanted from her, and it had nothing to do with best friend bracelets and sleepovers…well, maybe the sleepovers. I shook my head quickly. I was getting angry over my lack of self-control. Avoiding girls who were taken was never a problem for me before, so I found it really annoying that I couldn't get past this sudden crush. Maybe I just wanted her because I couldn't have her, I don't know. All I knew was that I needed to stay away from her.

Which would have been easier if I everything in me wasn't steadily pounding away at my convictions. Maybe if I just let myself be friends with her, I'd get over the mystery Bella presented and I could stop imagining her cheering _me _on during the shows. I rolled my eyes at my apparent rush of estrogen. I was starting to sound like a love-struck teenage girl. It was sickening, really.

Right then, I saw Bella kiss Jake on the cheek and retreat to the rear of the club. She pulled her iPOD out and started listening to music. I wanted to know what she was listening to, so I innocently ambled over and sat down next to her. She looked at me nervously from the corner of her eye. It occurred to me that maybe she wanted to be left alone. I shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling unsure of myself. She removed one of her ear buds and I cleared my throat and smiled.

"So, what are you listening to?" I asked.

She looked down and her feet like she was embarrassed. She finally raised her eyes back to mine and said, "Well, since we're in the Midwest right now, I'm listening to bands from Nebraska. It's kind of this thing I do when we're on tour. When we were back in the Northwest, I was listening to Minus the Bear and Death Cab for Cutie. Right now, I'm listening to Bright Eyes."

I smiled. That was pretty cute. I could tell she felt silly telling me that, though. "So what is a girl who likes mellow indie rock doing on tour with a metal band?" I asked.

She wrinkled her nose and said, "I like metal, too, but I just get kind of overdosed on it night after night. Besides, my true love is definitely the mellow stuff. I'm just not like some of the really tough girls I see at these shows. I only have a couple of tattoos. I'm not pierced up and sleeved out and wearing brass knuckles as a belt buckle. I'm too clumsy and dorky to intimidate anyone. Besides, could you imagine me trying to hardcore dance? I'd probably kill someone on accident!"

I laughed and said, "I think all of that is mostly posturing anyway. I mean, sure, a lot of people like getting tattoos and stuff but I think the people who are actually here for the music don't need all of the appearance stuff. That's just kind of extra. A couple years ago when we started, I promised myself that I wouldn't let myself fall into the trap of gauging my ears until you could park my Volvo in them. I only have two tattoos, myself. I don't see myself getting any more."

She gave me a big smile and we kept chatting about our music preferences and our opinions on the lifestyle we were living in. She was really witty and clever. I was amazed. She was usually so quiet when everyone was around, so I never thought she would have so much to say about so many things.

I was already imagining a mix I wanted to make for her in my head. I was considering songs while we continued to joke around. I had a ridiculously large music collection and I was naming a lot of bands she'd never heard of. I figured friends make friends c.d.s, right? Therefore, it wouldn't be untoward of me to make one for her; at least that's what I told myself in my excitement.

I noticed Jake smiling and looking back and forth between Bella and me with a curious expression on his face. I wondered again if Bella was usually quieter than this, but I quickly tamped down the smug feeling I had in my chest at that thought. I quickly wrapped up our conversation and stood up to greet Jake. I said goodbye to Bella and walked off to find Emmett, trying to quiet the feeling of disappointment that I couldn't continue our conversation.

After we played our set a few hours later, I retreated to the van and pulled out my laptop. I had my entire music catalogue on it, so I was able to compile the songs I wanted for Bella's mix c.d. without having to burn any songs first. I sat there thinking about which direction I wanted to go with the music. I had to resist the urge to put the songs I _really _wanted to put on the list. I reined in my hormones and decided to choose some ambiguous and friendly songs. I tried to pick some stuff she might not have heard before. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine bands that Bella would like. Inspiration struck when I thought back to our conversation, and I scanned through my music, quickly picking the albums I wanted.

I finished burning the album and pulled out a black jewel case to write down the track listing:

1. Eric Bachmann- Little Bird

2. Sorry About Dresden- Butterflies

3. The Black Keys- When the Lights Go Out

4. The Felix Culpa- The Apartment

5. Of the Opera- Interlude

6. Sufjan Stevens- Amazing Grace

7. Castanets - Good Friend, Yr Hunger lyrics

8. The Silent Years- Open Our Eyes

9. Son Ambulance- Paper Snowflakes

I told myself none of the songs were suggestive. I didn't want her to read into my choices at all. I just wanted to make her a nice mix c.d… right?

I suddenly felt really silly. She would probably hate it and then I'd feel like an idiot. Still, I wandered off to find her. I knew Wolf Runner was probably getting ready to finish up, so I knew I'd probably find her backstage. I went in that direction but I stopped when Emmett flagged me down as I passed the bar entrance.

"Hey, man!" Emmett yelled above the noise.

"Hey, bro. What's up? Where's Rose?"

"Ah, y'know, she's just hanging out with Alice and Bella backstage. Alice wants Bella to help design our new merch. Did you know she designed some of Wolf Runner's stuff?" he asked.

"No, I didn't know. But Emmett, remember I told you that I wanted to be in charge of the new designs for the next album? I want to be sure they reflect the concept…" I wasn't sure if Emmett would remember this conversation, either. He was already on his fourth beer.

He just shook his head at me. "Eddie, you know you can't have your hands in _everything_ concerning the new album. I mean, we still have to be a part of it if you want us to feel like it belongs to all of us."

I knew he was right, I just didn't want to let any part of my concept get misconstrued. I was a perfectionist, I guess. I knew I could trust my band with this stuff, but I was still reluctant. I just didn't want to let any small detail get out of my hands. I didn't want to bicker about it right now, though, so I just changed the subject. "Anyway, Em, you said Bella is backstage with Alice and Rose?" I asked.

"Yeah… hey, why are you looking for Bella anyway?" His eyes narrowed as he tried to focus on me in the dim light of the bar. I didn't welcome his scrutiny; as much as people thought Emmett was oblivious, I knew he understood me pretty well. If Emmett thought something was going on, he'd stick to me like glue until he got the truth from me. I shifted to my other foot and waited for him to answer my question as I ignored his.

"Yeah, they're in the green room backstage," he said finally. I smiled at him gratefully and stalked to the back. Along the way, a few drunken girls tried to get my attention. I feigned interest while they spouted on an on about how gorgeous I was. I definitely didn't want to be rude to fans, but it was really unattractive to be hit on by someone who was probably too drunk to know what they were doing. The smell of alcohol was sweating from their pores in the sweaty confines of the packed club. I just tried to hold my breath and keep smiling.

One of the girls giggled and held her shirt out towards me. She looked up at me brazenly and said, "I got this shirt to wear just for you, Edward! I just _love _Volterra and want to have your babies!" My mouth dropped in shock as I read the words on her shirt. It said "Save a Drum, Bang a Drummer" on it. I groaned inwardly; this was getting excessively awkward for my taste.

I looked up desperately, scanning the room for some help. My eyes locked on Bella's as I saw her come out of the restroom behind the stage. She must have sensed my desperate need for her help, because she walked towards me and eyed the drunken fans. I didn't know what to say or do, but the need was taken away when one of them launched herself toward me suddenly. Her wet lips grazed my cheek as her sweaty palms tried to find purchase on my jaw. I jerked my head to the side in surprise and Bella caught on to my dilemma.

"Hey Edward, I don't think, er, Tanya would be very happy if she found out you're making out with some chick," she said.

I turned to her, eyes wide, trying to figure out who Tanya was. Bella rolled her eyes at me and turned back to the brazen blonde-haired woman in front of me. "Tanya is Edward's girlfriend and she's extremely possessive. At the last show he played, some girl jumped on the stage and started taking her bra off in front of him and Tanya went crazy. I think the girl is still in critical condition," she added, looking up at me.

I caught on then and schooled my expression in an attempt to convey grave danger for the girls. "Yeah," I said, "she's backstage right now but I think if I were you, I'd get going. She probably already knows what just happened…" I trailed off, suggestively. The drunk girl's eyes went wide in fear as she quickly looked around the club. If she had been sober, our little trick probably wouldn't have worked so well.

Just then, amazingly enough, Rosalie came stomping into the bar. She looked furious, but I had no idea why. The girls must have thought she was the fabled "Tanya," so they quickly turned and ran off in the other direction. Bella and I just looked at each other, laughing so hard our sides began to hurt. Rosalie's entrance was pure perfection. I wandered back over to Emmett to see why she was so steamed.

"…and I don't appreciate you getting drunk when we have to drive to the next town tonight!" Rosalie was yelling. Emmett just sat there with a big goofy grin on his face. Instead of quaking in fear as I was sure she expected, he just grabbed her around the waist with his big beefy arms and planted a sloppy kiss right on her mouth.

With that, Rosalie growled and threw her hands in the air. She dropped on the bar stool next to his and ordered coffee to go. I turned to see Bella grinning at them as if she thought the whole thing was adorable.

Just then, I remembered the mix c.d. in my hand. "Hey, Bella, I made something for you I thought you might like," I said.

She turned around and made eye contact with me. I tried not to get lost in her warm brown eyes. I bet she could make men do anything with those big, beautiful eyes. I shuddered to think what kind of slave she could turn me into if she really tried. I handed her the c.d. and she looked at it with delight as she noted the songs on the back. I sighed in relief, not really realizing just how nervous I was in anticipation of her reaction.

She looked back up at me, her eyes sparkling with happiness.


	3. When the Lights Go Out

**Hey everyone! I just want to say thank you a million times to everyone who has read this story and reviewed/put it on alert/etc. I know it's cheesy and cliché by now, but the all the action really does spur me on to keep writing more than you know, so please please I beg you, keep it up!!**

**Secondly, I wanted to address something that I thought may be bothering some of you… I don't want to give away the plot, but I do want to say that I don't plan on having Edward and Bella cheat on Jake (at least not physically). Infidelity puts a nasty taste in my mouth, and I don't want that to cheapen anything E and B may have going on. Plus, even though I'm not really on Team Jacob, I still respect him and I don't want to do that to him. Hopefully that helps you guys stomach this plot more. **

**Oh, and in case you are wondering… if you want to hear the band that I am loosely basing Volterra on, go listen to From Autumn to Ashes for the musical style and Coheed and Cambria for the epic-ness of their concept. If you want to know what I'm basing Wolf Runner on, go check out bands like 3 Inches of Blood or Hatebreed. Hope that helps! Onward to the next chapter, shall we? **

BPOV

I grasped the mix c.d. Edward had made for me. After we had parted ways in the club, I had to run back to van to get my laptop and my headphones so I could devour it. The butterflies in my stomach were trying to claw their way out as I loaded the c.d. into the disc drive. I waited impatiently for it to start, staring at his beautiful handwriting on the back of the jewel case. I was familiar with some of the bands, but not with all of them.

I felt the music start to flow over me. The first song was so sweet and gentle. I felt my hands shake as I listened to it. When he started singing, "_won't you fly away with me?_" I felt my stomach twist. I tried to ignore the words and just appreciate the song without trying to read into the underlying message.

I sat back and closed my eyes, picturing the way Edward's crooked smile stole over his beautiful mouth. It was like a flash of sunlight; it wasn't something you could stare directly at without burning your eyes.

The next song started up. It had a dirty delta blues feel to it. I was immediately excited to hear more from this band, because I grew up listening to blues courtesy of my mother's eclectic taste in music. I always felt somewhat silly listening to musicians that were around way before my time, so I was really happy to find a band that had the same style in current pop culture. The song itself felt sexual. I blushed. I was _not _going to go there in my head!

I decided I needed to open my eyes so I would stop seeing Edward's face. I pulled up the internet and started researching the bands on the mix so I could hear more of their stuff. Midway down the list, I realized that so far all of the bands were from the Midwest. I felt the butterflies in my stomach go into overdrive. Did he really remember that part of the conversation we'd had the other day? I was shocked because I figured Edward had just been killing time, not really interested in my little quirky habit that I had admitted to him.

I felt a little bit more of my steadfast resistance against my crush on Edward dissipate. I really needed to stop this before it got out of hand. I just couldn't do this to Jake.

Oh, a cover of _Amazing Grace_ was on the c.d. a couple songs later. I loved this song. My mother always got tears in her eyes when she heard it, because Grace was her mother's name. My maternal grandmother had died when I was just a baby, so I didn't remember her, but my mother had been really close to her. I felt a tear drift down my cheek. Edward obviously didn't know my personal attachment to this song. I enjoyed the unique take on the song and girded my mind against the emotions running over me. This was a coincidence, but being emotional about it still made it feel like there was a deeper connection and I really didn't want that to happen.

I listened to the rest of the c.d. and took a few moments to myself. I wanted to relax and get myself together before I went to find Jake. I wanted to forget Edward and focus on my boyfriend. I steadfastly ignored the tiny voice in my head that urged me to find Edward and thank him. I didn't need to be around him right now, it would be too much.

I climbed out of the van and tried to keep my eyes straight ahead, scanning the outside of the club for Jake. I spotted Embry and Quil out of the corner of my eye, so I headed toward them to ask them if they knew where Jake was. They told me he was inside the club watching the last band, so I headed in that direction.

I found him standing near the back with Seth, nodding his head to the beat of the double bass pounding from the drummer's kit. His eyes were focused on the movements of the lead singer, undoubtedly analyzing his performance. Jake was always doing that whenever we saw bands like his; he wanted to be the best performer he could be so he spent a lot of time trying to perfect his onstage act. I personally thought Jake was already really great when he was up there. He had such charisma and he really knew how to work the crowd. He was always a lot of fun to watch.

I walked up to him and laid my hand on his elbow. He immediately looked down into my eyes and smiled. "Hey babe," he said.

"Hey. Are you having fun?" I asked.

"Yeah I am. These dudes totally rock!" he answered.

"Well I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out with me somewhere before we have to leave for the next show," I pleaded. We hardly ever got alone time and I felt like I really needed to focus on us. I was trying to drum up as much excitement as I used to have at the idea of being intimate with Jake. I felt angry with myself for letting my stupid emotions get this far out of my control.

Jake's smile spread across his handsome face and he grabbed my hand, walking swiftly toward the back of the club. We found Quil hanging out with Emmett and Jasper in the staging area where all the equipment was waiting to be loaded up.

"Hey guys, do you want to get some rooms tonight instead of driving? We have the next two days to get to the next town. I know we were planning to get there early but Bella and I are beat and I really want to take a shower tonight. What do you think?" Jake asked the guys.

They all agreed and went off to find everyone else and tell them the plan. Jake offered to go ahead to the motel and get the rooms. I grasped his hand as he practically jogged out of the club. Just down the street was a nice motel that appeared clean and inexpensive. We paid for the rooms and Jake dragged me towards the elevator, obviously impatient to be alone with me. I sighed and smiled, enjoying his blatant excitement. We hadn't had sex since before we stopped in Seattle, so I knew what was on his mind.

We got to the room and went inside. I had thought to grab my bag from the van, so I had my toiletries. I wandered to the bathroom, ready to take a shower and clean up a bit. I would have to find a Laundromat soon so I could wash some of my clothes; they were starting to smell seriously funky.

I stripped out of my clothes quickly and climbed under the steaming hot water of the shower. I was washing my hair, humming one of the songs from Edward's Midwest mix c.d. when I felt a cold gust of air from the bathroom door opening. I continued to wash my hair, rinsing the soap out just as Jake climbed into the shower behind me. I looked up at him, my eyes drifting over his wide chest. He was heavily muscled and extremely tall compared to my own petite frame. His face glowed with lust and excitement as he ran his hands down my sides, pulling me towards him.

Our kiss was comfortable and warm. We had been together so long now that the electricity we once had had settled into a comfortable buzz. I felt my arms reach up and wrap around his neck as I stood up on my tiptoes to deepen the kiss.

Jake's strong arms wrapped around my waist and I became aware of an unpleasant feeling settling into my stomach. In my mind's eye, I could see the last person my sanity wanted to be seen, and the first person my errant hormones felt needed to be there. I valiantly tried to push the image of Edward's arms wrapped around me out of my head. Finally, I succeeded and lost myself in the moment with Jake.

Later, as we lay on the damp sheets, I felt the unpleasant feeling coming back. I felt so angry with myself for not being able to shut off this stupid crush. I had a really good relationship with Jake, and I didn't want to hurt him. He was a good man, and I knew how much he loved me. Jake was always the one who was so sure of our relationship, even in the early days when I would nervously dance around the issue. My parents loved him and I got along with all of his family and friends as well. I tried to focus on the warm feeling of contentment that settled over me at the thought of our future together.

Suddenly, though, our future had a grey cloud hanging above it. I no longer felt as assured about my love for Jake. I wondered if it was enough.

EPOV

After giving Bella the mix c.d., I wandered around the club awkwardly. I didn't know what to do with myself. The girls in the crowd were still staring at me and I felt the usual discomfort. There was absolutely nothing sexy about a sloppy drunk girl hanging all over me. I shook my head and tried to find the rest of the guys.

I wandered into the back staging area and found Jasper and Emmett hanging out with Seth and Quil. Embry was wrapped around some chick in the corner, trying with all his might to suck her face off. I grimaced as I quickly averted my eyes. Quil's gaze followed the direction of my eyes and yelled at Embry, "Dude, get a room!"

Embry just continued devouring the girl while he lifted his left hand, flipping Quil off. We all laughed and I turned to Emmett and Jasper. "Hey, so what's the plan for tonight? Alice and Rose told me that we were getting some rooms instead of driving tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah, Jake and Bella said they wanted to get rooms tonight so they could shower and sleep before we drive to the next town." Jasper said.

Quil just snorted and said sarcastically, "Yeah, I'm sure they're just interested in 'sleep!'" He then nudged Emmett and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and they both busted out with loud obnoxious laughter.

I felt something dark and unwanted twist in the depths of my stomach. I suddenly felt the need for fresh air, and lots of it. I shoved my hands in my pockets and tried to bring a normal expression to my face, hoping nobody noticed the quick flash of jealousy that I was reluctant to admit to myself, let alone my friends. I couldn't let anybody know about this ridiculous crush I was trying so hard to deny.

"I think I'm going to go get some air then, guys. I'll catch up with everyone back at the motel. Just call me so I know where to go," I said.

I could feel Emmett and Jasper's eyes burning holes in the back of my head as I walked away. I was sure Quil wouldn't notice anything strange about my behavior, but my family surely would. I didn't want them to know what was going on inside my head. To admit my feelings for Bella would somehow make them realistic. If I admitted what was on my mind, it would always be there and they would think about it every time they saw Bella and me together. I couldn't take the idea of them teasing me or worse, telling Alice and Rose. I knew how close they had become with Bella, and I didn't want them to slip and say anything to her. I knew I wasn't going to get a chance to act on my crush, so I would do better to keep it completely to myself. No one could ever know how much I thought about the beautiful girl with big lonely brown eyes.

**So sorry this chapter is short, but I really have so much homework to do before I go to work. I just couldn't help myself, though. I had to write! I needed to write! I want to know what you guys think of this chapter. Maybe you can give me some good ideas for the next one if you review! I already have the entire thing plotted out in my head, but there are a few things that I'm open to adding or omitting:) 3**


	4. White Mystery

**Disclaimer: I keep forgetting this part! I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters… I just **_**wish **_**I did!**

**A/N: I want to remind everyone that this story is rated M for mature. That will become apparent in this chapter, okay? LEMON ALERT! LEMON ALERT! You asked, you shall receive… **

**Without further ado, here is chapter four in all its sex-ay glory!**

BPOV

It had been three weeks since Edward gave me the mix c.d., and the tour was now in the southern states. I had been successful in completely avoiding my forbidden fruit, but I still thought about him on a frequent basis. Luckily, the distance had helped to remind me of the companionship Jake and I shared. Our relationship was so comfortable and familiar, like my favorite sweats.

I dared the tiny voice in my mind to combat against the walls of defense I had erected against the idea that maybe, just maybe, I wanted a relationship that reminded me more of a sexy pair of underwear that caused my heart to stutter at the thought of wearing. I narrowed my eyes and determinedly pushed that thought out of my head. I was going to get over this crush once the tour was over, and Jake and I would continue as we always have.

We were arriving at the venue in Jacksonville, where they would be playing tonight. As soon as we pulled up to the club, I jumped out of the van and stretched my cramped muscles. I groaned as my arms reached high above my head, causing my back to arch as my body sang with relief after being in the van for so many hours. I whirled around when I heard the other van pull up behind us and park at the curb. Instantly, I froze, trying to find an excuse to run away. I didn't want to see Edward's rumpled hair and sleepy eyes as his mouth-watering body unfolded from the van. I didn't want to _want_ him the way that I do. I had been avoiding Alice and Rosalie because I didn't need them to remind me of everything I was trying to get away from.

I averted my eyes, scanning the area for an excuse to get away. Luckily, there was a fast food restaurant nearby. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the Cullens alighting from their vehicle. I walked over to Jake and said "I'm hungry, I think I'll go get some food across the street."

Jake looked down at me and smiled. He reached up to ruffle my hair and kiss my forehead before replying, "'Kay. Will you grab me something too?"

I nodded and turned to cross the street, but I turned again when I saw Alice rushing to catch up with me. She had a determined look on her face, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to avoid her now. She quickly made her way to my side and smiled at me. "Do you mind if I go with you?" she asked.

"No problem," I murmured. We walked to the restaurant in silence, which was unusual for Alice. She was a very chatty person, so I was surprised and a little nervous over her behavior.

Once we got our orders, Alice insisted on sitting in one of the booths to eat before heading back. I felt my shoulders hunch protectively as I started to think of the reasons for this little meeting. Once we got situated, Alice peered up at me and I saw the sad expression on her face.

"What's wrong, Alice?" I asked.

"Bella, why have you been avoiding Rose and me? Did we do something wrong?" she replied.

I shifted uncomfortably, trying to come up with something. Finally, I said honestly, "No, you haven't done anything. I'm sorry, I've just been going through some stuff and I haven't really didn't feel like being around anybody."

Alice's face drew into a look of concern as she reached for my hand. "Is everything okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, I'm okay. Thanks anyway, though." With that, I stood up and went over to throw my trash away. She followed me and we walked back over to the club. The weather in Florida was extremely muggy and hot, and I began to perspire in my sweatshirt. I took it off and shoved it into the van before going inside with Alice on my heels. She seemed to be following me everywhere; I sighed in resignation. It was obvious that my new friend wasn't going to go away. I was being ridiculous by trying to avoid her and Rosalie anyway. They hadn't done anything wrong, and neither had Edward. I only had myself and my stupid hormones to blame.

I sighed as I felt how hot the inside of the club was. Alice turned to me and said, "Wow, it's hot in here. I wonder when they'll kick the A/C on."

We walked over to find Jake and Emmett talking to the manager of the club. I overheard him saying that the air conditioner was broken, so it was going to be a sweaty night. I groaned in misery because I hated being this hot. In this moment, I actually missed the crisp coolness of Washington. I waved Alice off to find everyone for sound check and went to my ever-familiar spot at the back of the club. The club was already hotter than I could stand, so I knew it was going to be a long night once all the fans crowded inside.

A few hours later, the show was going strong while Volterra played their set. I had yet to see them play, because I tried to stay away. Unfortunately, Jake and the rest of the guys had become really good friends with the guys and they always came inside to watch. I didn't want to act strangely, so I stayed inside as well. The club was packed and everyone had sweat dripping off their bodies. The bouncers were standing on the edges of the stage, pouring ice cold water over everyone in the audience. I could see the band take the stage and I tried to avoid looking for the golden eyes and bronze hair of my fantasies. I watched Emmett grab the microphone with a fierce look on his face, ready to tear up the stage with his endless energy. Jasper walked over and grabbed his guitar, his long fingers giving the strings a couple of testing tweaks. Alice slung the strap on her bass over her shoulder and caught my eye, winking and grinning with excitement. I knew she loved performing, and it wasn't any wonder to see why. The Cullens and Hales were extremely beautiful and charismatic.

Then, as if they were pulled against their will, my eyes rested on Edward's familiar bronze hair and golden eyes. I watched as he gracefully sat behind his drum set, warming his fingers up with a few twirls of his sticks. The lights dropped and Jasper and Alice started playing a soft melody. The drums joined, and the sedate melody started to build into a beautiful crescendo before slowly dropping and dying away. As soon as the introduction was done, Edward whipped his t-shirt off and started pounding on the drums in earnest.

Emmett gave a loud growl and the music started in a frenzy. My eyes widened as I took in the sight of a half-naked sweaty Edward pounding on his drums. His arms were moving so fast that I had a hard time keeping up with him. I tried to tear my eyes away, honestly I did; the sight of his muscles bunching and releasing was just too delicious to ignore. I stopped breathing, focusing on his body. I could feel the temperature of the club rise about a thousand degrees as the saliva pooled in my mouth. Sweat beaded on my hot scalp and rolled down my neck into my tank top while I tried unsuccessfully to avert my eyes. Edward playing the drums with his muscles bared to my ravenous gaze was the most amazingly erotic sight I had ever seen in my twenty-one years. I felt my defense walls crumble as I continued to watch him, helplessly in lust with his body. I was done for and I had no idea what to do about it.

I felt Jake move away from me, into the center of the mosh pit. He started dancing with abandon and I moved further away so I wouldn't get hit. Mosh pits and I just didn't get along very well. The moment had helped snapped me out of my lust-filled reverie, and I was able to look back at the stage and watch without the fear of doing something crazy. That's when I saw that Edward was looking at me with dark eyes, not paying much attention as he continued to keep the beat for the next song. The look on his face could have matched mine, but without a mirror, I couldn't be sure. All I knew was that his eyes were roving over me much the same way my eyes had devoured him. His gaze rested on my chest, where I knew my tank top was plastered with sweat. My nipples were already hard from my forbidden thoughts, and I knew he noticed because his eyebrows snapped low over his narrowed eyes. The fierce look on his face looked almost angry, but the butterflies clawing my stomach from the inside told me that he definitely wasn't angry. I tried to swallow, but my mouth was as dry as the desert. I desperately tried to look away. Finally, I did something cowardly: I ran. I left the club as quickly as I could and ran to the van. I lay down on the back bench seat and gulped some warm bottled water as I tried to calm my racing heart. I could hear the music blaring out of the club through the front doors. The beat felt sensual to my overheated hormones. I tried in vain not to think about Edward's dark eyes. After a while, I fell asleep.

_I was lying on the clean white sheets of a hotel bed. It was soft and comfortable, but I definitely wasn't feeling tired. I could feel the cool air drift over my heated skin. I tried to lift my head and take in my surroundings, but I couldn't get my heavy head to cooperate. I just sighed and relaxed back into the pillows. I could hear music playing quietly from the corner of the room. _

_I felt a pair of slightly rough hands drifting up my legs, beginning at my feet. They traveled the path in an agonizingly slow fashion, leaving goose bumps in their wake. I closed my eyes as I felt the hands drifting higher and higher, up over my hipbones, over my stomach, along the sides of my breasts, and finally coming to rest on the sides of my face. I refused to open my eyes; my subconscious told me I wasn't ready to and I complied. I felt a warm, solidly muscled body land gently along mine. I exhaled longingly. I let a small moan loose as a pair of perfect lips drifted along my jaw from my ear toward my chin. I could hear him inhaling as if he was taking in the scent of a delicious meal. His lips drifted along my neck, along my collarbone. His hands combed into my hair, wrapping it around his fingers as he suddenly jerked my face toward his. I felt his firm lips descend on mine, crushing them in his desire. My body arched involuntarily into his as I gave in to his hot mouth. I felt his wet tongue rub against mine, delving into my mouth. I reached my hands up to grip his hair, trying to ignore my screaming subconscious telling me not to enjoy this._

_I felt one of the hands in my hair unwrap itself and drift back along its previous path, coming to rest on my left breast. My nipple hardened as he rolled it in his cupped palm. I arched my hips against his insistently and threw more of myself into the heated kiss. His hand became rougher on my breast as the song changed and a slow, sexy beat began. This song always made me feel incredibly sensual. I gyrated my hips in time with the song, feeling the rhythm take over my body. I could hear him groan as he lifted his lips from mine, pushing up on his arms to crawl down along my body once more. I could feel the blazing hot path of wet kisses he placed along my neck, breasts, and stomach as he went lower and lower. Finally, I couldn't feel his body anymore and I groaned in distress. Sensing what I needed, he grabbed both of my ankles and dragged me to the end of the bed. My butt hit the edge and I felt him push my legs apart roughly. I gasped as the cold air hit my heated core. The wetness pooled between my legs was embarrassing me, but I couldn't find the strength to care too much. I felt him biting his way along the inside of my left thigh while his hand stroked sensually along the inside of my right thigh. I waited in breathless anticipation for what I knew would come next. My head pushed back and twisted in agony as his cool breath blew against my wetness. I could feel a deep flush spreading across my chest and cheeks. Finally, those delicious lips brushed against my opening and I felt like I could die. His tongue gave a few teasing flicks as his hands reached out to push my hips against the bed. As he pinned me down with his strong arms, I felt his assault begin. There was an onslaught of moisture as his hot tongue flicked against my clitoris repeatedly, making my hips jerk uncontrollably. I couldn't help but moan loudly as I tried to get his tongue to go faster. He kept up his pleasurable assault until I finally screamed my release. I felt the wave of passion sweep from my head down to my toes as my stomach jerked in response to my climax. I could feel his hands let up on my hips as he picked me up and carried me somewhere. With my eyes still closed, I didn't know where he was taking me. _

_I felt him set me down gently before the sound of the shower came on. We must have been in the bathroom. I still kept my eyes clenched shut as I listened to him adjusting the water. I heard him come back over to me, laughing softly at the obstinate expression on my face. He just lifted me up again and carried me into the shower, setting me down under the spray. I felt the water pound against my back as he pulled my body against his. I could feel his muscles bunching as he massaged my lower back with his skilled hands. My head fell back as I felt those lips drifting along my neck again. He turned me slightly and I felt the cold wall of the shower against my back as he lifted me up. My arms wrapped themselves around his strong shoulders while he lifted my legs around his waist. He spoke for the first time. "Bella, look at me," he demanded. _

_Finally, my eyes snapped open and I looked up into the face of so many of my fantasies. Edward's devastatingly beautiful face looked back at me. His golden eyes were narrowed, his face set in a look of lust so deep it made my breath catch. Just then, I felt his erection thrust heavily into my body. I wanted so badly to close my eyes in passion, but we continued to stare into each other's eyes as he pushed into me again and again. I couldn't breathe, it felt so amazing. My breasts bounced against his chest as his hips ground against mine. I moaned his name repeatedly as he pounded into me faster and faster. I could feel my release building as I stared into his beautiful eyes. He leaned into my neck, nipping at it before bringing his mouth against my ear and whispering, "Come for me, Bella. Come for me." _

_I couldn't resist him any longer, and I felt my climax come crashing down around me like an anvil. The pleasure was too much, too intense. I screamed Edward's name as my walls clenched around his hard length, throwing my head back against the shower wall in ecstasy. While I threw myself against him, Edward shouted, "Bella! God!" and surged against me with all his strength. I felt his hot release into my body. I gasped for air. _

Suddenly, I woke up alone.


	5. Some Are Lakes

**Hey everyone! I hope you like this chapter; I have been slow in updating because I had to work out where to go from the last one. Anyway, so let me know what you think k? I get such a little giddy thrill when I get reviews, haha. Sad, I know. **

**I added some notes for the story in my profile. If you wanna know what I'm listening to while I write this chapter, check out Tokyo Police Club. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. I just put tattoos on them and better music in their ears. (Linkin Park? I mean, c'mon. Lame.)**

EPOV

We were hanging out in front of a venue down in Louisiana when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took it out and looked at the display. I felt excitement jump in my stomach as I saw the name of the guy from the record label. I hoped this would be The Call.

I quickly flipped my phone open and greeted him. "Hey, Paul. What's up?" I said.

"Hey Edward, do you have a minute?" he asked.

I looked up and saw Emmett staring at me with lively interest, I just shook my head and walked a few feet away. "Sure, man, what's up?"

"Well we've been getting a really awesome response since you guys went on tour and we'd like to see if you could come back to Seattle for us to record your next album," he said with a smile in his voice. I bet he loved delivering good news to hopeful band geeks. My palms went sweaty as the excitement in my veins went up a notch (or a thousand).

"Really? Heck yes, man! When?" I could barely breathe. I wanted to do a little girl dance, I wanted to jump and pump my fists in the air like Rocky Balboa. I had to concentrate on what Paul was saying to me.

"Well, we really want to jump on this while you're hot so we are actually going to pull you from the last few weeks of the tour and bring you back here to work with some of our best guys. We'll send out one of our other bands to replace you for the rest of the dates and you guys will be able to take as long as you want on your album. I know you want to do that vampire idea, but we'll put out an EP of your current popular stuff right now and then work off that once we have a big fan base. We'd like to get you into a few indie mag spreads and go from there."

I think I died. It's okay, because I was a happy man. I could see my dream finally coming together in front of my very eyes. I couldn't believe my insane luck. I felt the biggest grin ever spread across my face.

"That sounds amazing to me. Thanks so much, Paul. I can't wait to get back to Seattle and get to work! I can't wait to tell everyone else!" I tried to keep from stuttering in my haste to get off the phone and once I did, I ran back over to Emmett and Jasper.

"Hey guys, guess what!"

BPOV

I was hanging out with Alice and Rose at yet another mall, this time in Louisiana, when Alice's phone rang from her purse. She answered it and I could tell by her sudden squealing and jumping up and down that she must be hearing something amazing. She quickly closed her phone and threw it back in her purse before looking up at us with the biggest smile I'd ever seen on her face.

"We are getting signed by the label! We are going back to Washington to record in three days, after the next show!" She continued to jump up and down, twirling in circles as Rose wrapped her arms around her and joined in the excitement. People were staring, but I couldn't really care as I told them how happy I was for both of them. I knew they deserved it because they were a great band.

Once their jumping and squeals quieted down, Alice turned to me and grabbed my hands. "Bella, you must come back with us! You'll be able to see your dad and you can stay with us! We'll have so much fun! Please say you'll come with us!" Alice's eyes were pleading with me as she begged.

I just shook my head. "Alice, what about Jake and the rest of the guys?"

"Oh Bella, it'll just be for a few weeks. I'm sure Jake would be cool with it," Alice said.

"Well, I'll ask him and think about it. I'm so used to being on tour with him that I don't know what I'd do with myself for that long," I grumbled. I really wanted to hang out with Alice and Rose more but I didn't know what Jake would think about us being separated for that long.

We made our way back to the venue and Alice and Rose ran to find the guys. I went and found Jake and we talked about how happy we were for our friends in Volterra.

"Hey Jake, Alice and Rose wanted to know if I would come back with them while they record. It would only be a few weeks and you'd be home from tour in a month anyway. What do you think?" I asked nervously.

He had a little frown between his eyebrows, so I braced myself for him to be set against the idea but he surprised me when he said, "I think you should go back with them. It would be good for you to have a break from touring. I wish I could come back with you and relax for a while. You should totally go."

I threw my arms around his neck and gave him a happy kiss. I would be going back to Washington in a couple days and I was really looking forward to having a bed and a shower at my constant disposal. I also wanted to see Charlie and some of my old high school friends again.

EPOV

I was in the van getting some things together in anticipation for going back to Seattle when Alice and Emmett found me.

"Hey Eddie, better make some more room in the van 'cuz we're bringing Bella back with us," Emmett said.

I looked at him with a shocked expression. "Why is Bella coming with us?" I didn't think I could take a week in the close confines of the van with the object of my recently hot sweaty fantasies. She wasn't mine to dream about, but try telling that to my dick. He didn't get the memo.

"Edward, don't be rude. She's my friend and I want her to come back with us so I can hang out with her more!" Alice pouted.

I reached over and ruffled her hair. "Sorry, Alice. Of course she can come with us. We'll just have to mail more of your stuff back so there will be more room in the van," I said.

Alice's face perked right up and I looked over at Emmett. He was giving me a speculative look so I quickly averted my gaze, trying to avoid communicating my thoughts. Emmett was the _last_ person who needed to know about my feelings for Bella. I turned back to my bag, shoving more crap into it so I could get out of there quickly.

BPOV

We were finally headed back to Washington and I was really happy. I figured it would be good for Jake and me to have a little time apart. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that. I just hoped it was true because I was seriously dying a million deaths being so close to Edward and his physical perfection.

Already in the two days we'd been on the road, I had seen him shirtless at least three more times. I couldn't help but notice the tattoos that I hadn't been able to see in the dim club the first time he graced my vision with his naked chest. He had a lion tattooed over his left pectoral and what looked to be a family crest on the inside crook of his left arm.

Boys with tattoos always made my heart speed up, but then Edward's body would have made my heart go into overdrive no matter what. I tried really hard not to notice him during the drive; I really did. Unfortunately, my best intentions were soon replaced by shamelessly embarrassing ogling whenever I knew he wasn't looking.

We spent the majority of the trip home listening to music and talking about movies. I tried to read occasionally because I was one of those rare people who didn't get car sick, but Alice always kept me entertained. I just enjoyed getting to know everyone better.

Emmett was quickly endearing himself to me more every day. It seemed like everyone thought he was just a big dumb oaf, but I could see he had his moments of intuition. He was also just such a happy person that you couldn't help but feel great when you were with him. He always made me laugh and I felt like he was the big brother I'd always wanted.

Jasper was still quiet and reserved for the most part, but I could still tell that he was very intelligent and empathetic. He always had a kind word and tried to cheer people up whenever they were down. I thought he was very sweet, especially with Alice.

I was also getting to know a lot about Edward. I drank in every little detail I learned about him as if I was dying of thirst. I'd found out he was physically incapable of letting anyone else touch the stereo in the van. He always had his iPod plugged in and he kept the music suited to the drive and the mood inside the van perfectly. I was learning so much about music from him.

I also found out that Edward could play a ton of instruments. Emmett and Alice were teasing him about wanting to play all the instruments on the next album. My mind was boggled at the thought of how much time and talent it must have taken to learn so many instruments; I couldn't even play _one_!

We were going through Nevada when I started to feel sick. I woke up from sleeping with my head in Alice's lap when I realized my head felt congested. I groaned; I hated being sick. I was already clumsy enough to see the doctor in excess. I groaned and put a hand up to hold my head, wishing the headache would disappear soon.

Edward was in the seat in front of us and he turned at the sound of my miserable groan. "Are you okay?" he asked with concern on his face.

I looked over at Alice and Jasper, who were dead asleep on the seat next to me. I turned back to Edward and said, "I don't know. I think I might have a cold coming on," I whined. I tried to keep my whining to a minimum when I was sick, but when I felt crummy it just had a way of shining through in my behavior.

Edward turned his body slightly toward me and reached his hand up to lay his cool palm against my forehead. I closed my eyes at his touch; it felt like thousands of tiny needles were pushing through my skin and I didn't mind it one bit. I opened my eyes and tried to act unaffected as his hand rested against my heated skin. My cheeks must have been scarlet at this point.

He finally pulled his hand back after brushing it down the side of my face and laying it against my neck for a moment. I gasped as my eyes widened and I tried not to make eye contact with him.

"Well I think you may have a little fever, too. I wouldn't be surprised if you're getting the flu," he said.

_If only he knew that I always get a fever when he's around_, the voice inside my head said. I quickly stomped on my internal dialogue's sassy little self and tried to focus on him while still reminding myself to breathe. "Oh, no! I hate being sick so much," I whined again. I decided I should keep my mouth shut because nobody likes whiners. I didn't even like myself when I was sick; I was a bit of a brat.

I took advantage of the mini break we took at the next rest stop to stock up on cold and flu medicine, along with some juice and water. I seriously wanted to nip this in the bud before I ended up getting everyone else sick.

When we got back into the van, I ended up next to Edward in the front. He was driving and I was in the passenger seat diligently drinking my orange juice when he looked over at me. "Do you want to pick the next song?" he asked.

Everyone went quiet and I just looked at Edward with a question in my eyes.

"Edward, you never let anyone have a say in the music!" Alice whined.

"Alice, that's because I don't want to sit here and listen to your crap taste in music," he replied good-naturedly. She threw herself back into her seat and crossed her arms over her chest before turning her eyes towards mine.

"Well, I guess Bella passes Edward's impossible musical taste standards!" she said.

I blushed, my eyes snapping away from hers to look out the windshield. I was uncomfortable and I didn't want anybody to read anything into it. I looked down at Edward's hand as he handed me his iPod.

I scanned through the music before settling on one of my favorite bands from the southwest: Calexico. I couldn't be surprised to find every band I'd ever heard of (and a lot I never knew existed) on Edward's iPod. We listened to the Calexico-Iron and Wine compilation and I closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep.

EPOV

I was driving while Bella was fast asleep in the seat across from me. Her beautiful face was relaxed in sleep, as I'd never seen it before. I realized then that she always looked either tense or nervous, and I instantly wondered why.

I had to struggle to keep my eyes on the road because all I really wanted to do was stare at her while I had the chance. I knew she'd been looking at me over the last few days when she thought I wasn't looking. Little did Bella know, I was constantly aware of her. I had felt her presence pulling me like a magnetic field ever since the night she'd watched us play in Florida.

I constantly relived that moment we'd shared while I was onstage. I couldn't forget how her eyes had roved over me as if she were hungry for me. I felt my body respond at the memory and I quickly tried to push it back into my head for later. Being in a van for a week straight with her would certainly cause some definite problems.

Two days later, we were pulling up in front of our house and I couldn't be happier to see my mother waiting on the front porch with my father. They both looked beautiful and happy, as usual. I felt myself relax as I got out of the van and walked swiftly toward them, eager for a warm homecoming.

"Edward!" my mom exclaimed with delight in her voice. I jumped up on the porch and wrapped my arms around her in a bear hug, burying my face in her soft hair and inhaling the scent that had always calmed me since my childhood. I loved my parents; they were just so loving and warm and I tried never to take them for granted.

The van emptied out and excited voices surrounded me as I turned to watch Bella standing next to the tree in the front yard. Her flu had gotten increasingly worse over the last few days so I wasn't surprised that she looked rundown and exhausted. She also looked awkward and unsure, and I realized why she must be feeling that way, so I hopped down and made my way over to her so I could introduce her to my parents.

"Hey Bella, these are my parents, Carlisle and Esme," I said. I watched as they shook hands with her and I was surprised to feel like she belonged here with all of us. I tried to push that thought away as I walked back into the house and up to my bedroom to take a shower.

BPOV

We were all milling around the front yard, excited to be free from the van while I tried to absorb my surroundings. The Cullens lived in a big, beautiful house. It was breathtaking. It reminded me of an old southern plantation house, but not quite as grand. I think the real reason it was so wonderful probably had to do with the wonderful family who lived inside.

Carlisle and Esme were just as great as their kids. Jasper and Rosalie may not be their children, but they treated them as if they were. I had known them for a grand total of ten minutes and already I felt like their long-lost daughter come home to stay.

Esme quickly ushered me into the house as soon as she heard from Alice that I'd been sick. Carlisle followed her and asked if he could examine me. I groaned internally but I gave him my consent. He finished quickly.

"Yes, I think Edward was right. You just have a nasty bout of the flu. I recommend a lot of rest and fluids," he said.

I looked at him, confused. Edward was right? About what?

"Edward called me when you were in Nevada and asked about your symptoms to make sure you were alright." He said this as if he thought I should already know that and I just shook my head at him, baffled. I felt myself blush as I realized I probably looked really dumb right now.

A week had passed since we got back to Forks, and I still wasn't allowed out of bed by my caretakers. Alice and the rest of the band had been going to Seattle every day to record, but I was stuck here laid up in bed like an invalid while they got to have all the fun. I was bored out of my mind and trying to keep a rein on my temper. I felt petty, but I _really _wanted to get up!

Today was Sunday and the recording studio was closed, so everyone was off doing their own thing while I continued to grow moss while watching endless romantic comedies supplied by Alice. Rose and Alice were out shopping, saying that I needed more clothes because my meager wardrobe was, and I quote, "disgraceful!"

I knew Jasper and Emmett were at the local music store, probably with Edward. Carlisle was working at the hospital and Esme was at a book club meeting. She'd offered to bring me back some soup. She was amazing.

I couldn't take anymore, I had to get up. I was feeling fine. I perked my ears to see if I could hear anyone coming, but all I could hear were the birds chirping outside the window. It was a beautiful day for the winter, and I wanted to go outside and bask in the cold sunshine.

I quickly threw the covers back and tiptoed to the bathroom, feeling like I was doing something incredibly naughty. I snuck inside and closed the door quietly, heaving a sigh of relief. I stripped off my pajamas and started running the shower.

Once I was under the spray, I felt my sore muscles relax and I groaned in appreciation. I took my time in the shower, enjoying the feeling of washing the sickbed off my skin. Once, I thought I heard a creak outside the bathroom door but I quickly forgot it in the pleasure of washing my greasy hair.

After I was showered and dressed for the day, I decided to check my email and see if I had gotten a reply from Jake. We tried to write to each other but he was pretty bad about it, so I didn't really expect anything.

Just then, I heard a quiet knock on the door before it cracked open very slightly. "May I come in?" a soft velvet voice inquired.

Edward. He must have come home while I was in the shower. "Sure," I said, trying to act nonchalant.

He pushed the door open but remained in the hallway, looking at me with critical eyes. "You look like you're feeling much better," he said.

"Yeah, I've been feeling better for a few days now but nobody will let me get up. I want to go outside or something!" I replied.

He just grinned as he crossed the floor toward the desk where I was sitting. He sat down on the end of the bed and said, "Well, I think I can spring you. Want to take a walk?"

My heart sped up and I felt my palms grow sweaty. I just pushed the reaction away and got up, ready to stretch my sore bed muscles. "Yes, I definitely want to take a walk!" I exclaimed. Edward smiled, his beautiful lips shifting up on one side as I felt myself melt. He walked back across the hall and grabbed something before we walked out through the back door in the kitchen.

He led me across the large backyard and through a field that became wild behind their house. I didn't know where we were going, but I would have gladly followed Edward anywhere. I felt horrible for the way my feelings for him were growing, but I just couldn't control it anymore. He was too perfect and wonderful and beautiful…

I snapped my thoughts back to the present as I shivered in the cold air. I huddled into my sweatshirt and reminded myself to bring a coat next time I left the house. Finally, we stopped in front of a pretty little brook that was running through a small copse of trees deep in the field.

Edward gestured for me to sit down on the blanket he'd brought and I sank down, keeping my eyes on the water. It bubbled around, making a musical sound as I watched it flow. Edward sat next to me on the blanket and we both stayed quiet for a few minutes.

Finally, he asked awkwardly, "So… how are things?"

I looked up at him. "Er… great, I guess. Your family is exceptionally welcoming. I have felt really comfortable being here," I answered back just as awkwardly.

"Good, that's good," he replied.

We lapsed back into silence again, both of us hunching our shoulders against the brisk wind and trying desperately not to say anything wrong. I decided I needed to break the tension, so I cleared my throat.

"Hey, so I just realized I never really thanked you for the mix you made me."

He golden eyes met mine and I blushed, trying hard not to drool. "Good, I'm glad you liked it. I was going to make you another one when we got to the south, but I thought maybe it was a little too silly of me," he said.

"No, no! I loved it, honestly. I think I could learn a ton about music from you," I replied. "As a matter of fact, I already learned a bunch of new music just on the trip home!"

With that, we started a comfortable conversation about music and our favorite bands. I was so relieved to be able to talk to him like this that I even forgot about my intensely embarrassing sex dream starring him. Well, almost forgot, I should say.

Eventually, we lay back on the blanket and watched as the sun started to set. Since it was winter, the sun set fairly early in Forks. Edward pulled his trusty iPod out of his coat pocket and said, "I think I have the perfect song for this sunset."

He handed me one of the earbuds and I stuck it in my ear while he stuck the other one in his. I listened as the music started and the woman's voice filled my ears:

"_We've seen how sick we were,  
But I've got you for my life.  
And I'll love you like I'll love you when I die."_

I just kept listening, hoping that I could keep my racing pulse to myself. I wanted so badly to look at Edward and see if he realized what the woman was singing, but I held myself back. I may have given in to my crush on Edward, but I couldn't push myself further than that. I still had Jake to consider. Just then, the lyrics struck me in the gut when she sang, _"I believed he is the one but now I do wonder…"_

I gasped and pulled the earbud out of my ear. I felt burned as I turned to Edward, finding him already looking down at me with a sad expression on his face. We both spoke at the same time. "Edward, I…"

"Bella…"

My phone vibrated in my pocket. Grateful for the distraction from what was sure to be an intensely awkward exchange; I pulled it out and looked at the screen.

It was Jake.

**A/N Okay, sorry for the cliffhanger but it's almost 2:30 in the morning and I MUSTTTTTTTTTT go to bed! I will update again soon, I promise. If you liked the new chapter, please let me know. I just get so fired up when I get reviews! Thanks everyone!:)**


	6. Someday The Waves

**A/N: Sorry for the long overdue update, everyone. I had surgery on Wednesday to get my gall bladder taken out and I've been a bit loopy on Vicodin ever since. I hope you enjoy the new chapter! For those of you waiting for the lemons, please feel free to check my other new story up on my profile now. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. **

BPOV

I stood up and rushed away from Edward before I answered my phone. "Hey Jake," I said.

"Heya, Bells. How's Washington?" he asked.

"It's great, the Cullens are all really cool," I replied.

"Hey, so the tour is going to be over in a week and when I get home I want to talk to you about something kind of important." Jake sounded somewhat nervous. I wondered what he could possibly need to talk to me about.

"Sure, bub. What do you want to talk about?" I asked, concerned.

"Well I think we need to talk about us. I feel like you've been distracted lately and I want to talk to you about it, just not over the phone. I guess it can wait another week, right?"

His end of the phone call crackled a few times and I thought I lost him, but I cleared my throat and said, "Yeah, I guess we do need to talk when you get here…" I trailed off. I felt an unpleasant sensation crawling around in my stomach. I peeked back over my shoulder at Edward, who was leaning on one arm on the ground trying to look like he wasn't listening in. I definitely felt awkward.

I hung up, shuffled back over to where he was reclining, and sat back down on the blanket before sucking up all my courage to look at him. "Sorry, that was Jake calling," I mumbled, blushing.

He raised his eyes to mine and I felt my face get even hotter. His eyes seemed sad and understanding at the same time. "It's okay, we should probably get headed back to the house anyway. It's getting cold out here."

With that, he stood up and brushed off his pants before picking up the blanket. I stood off to the side, feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn't want to look at him, but I couldn't help myself. I felt so different when I was with him. I felt special, like I had something different to offer. I didn't feel so strange when we talked. It was as if Edward actually understood me, and that was definitely a novel feeling that I realized I had been missing in my relationship with Jake.

_Stop it_, I told myself sternly. Just because Edward was new and different didn't mean he was better for me than Jake. I'd been with Jake for years, and I knew Jake had finally caught on to my distraction over Edward. I didn't want to compromise my relationship with Jake over someone who probably had tons of girls hanging on his every word. Edward was beautiful and talented, how could he _not_ have a gaggle of girls at his beck and call? I knew plenty of guys like him in the scene; always sought after by the groupies surrounding their bands. They probably never thought twice about girls like me.

We walked back to the house in uncomfortable silence while I dwelled on Jake's phone call. What did he need to say to me? With the tour ending soon, they would be taking a small hiatus to record their next album; I knew they'd be home for at least a year before heading back out again.

It hit me then that Jake might be intending to propose finally. My stomach firmly lodged itself in my throat as I tried to shake the feeling of instant dread that overtook me. I was acting like a stupid girl. I needed to focus on my boyfriend and stop crushing on some boy who wasn't mine to like.

EPOV

We got back to the house and I drifted up to my bedroom after waving goodbye to Bella. I definitely wanted to be alone. I was about to confess my feelings for Bella there by the pond before Jake called.

_Saved by the bell_, I thought grimly. I needed to get my feelings in hand. I couldn't go on letting my feelings for her grow. I needed to remember that she wasn't mine. Jake was a good man and I liked him; I didn't want to fight him for Bella and I definitely didn't feel comfortable even thinking about it. In fact, I felt dirty and shameful just for all the lust-filled thoughts and dreams I'd been having about her as of late. I would never be able to touch Bella the way I wanted to and I would just have to get used to that. She wasn't mine to touch.

A couple days passed and we were finally done with recording the songs for the EP. We were headed to a warehouse downtown to do a photoshoot for the cover art, and we were all feeling really hyped up. The record label was going to be sending out a stylist and I was having some reservations about what they'd want to do with us.

We walked in and looked around, taking in the surroundings. On the left was a big blank wall with a bunch of lights set up and some random props haphazardly stacked around a bunch of camera equipment. To the right were racks of clothes, all shoved against a bank of makeshift dressing rooms constructed from those walls used to make cubicles in offices and white sheets slung over the openings.

I spotted a tiny girl with spiky hair lounging in one of those cheesy director chairs by the clothes, wearing skin tight blank pants with zippers all over them and a ripped black Megadeath t-shirt. Her face held more metal than I'd ever seen and her hair was five different colors, at least. She saw us and jumped up as we made our way over to her.

"Hey guys! I'm Amber, I'll be your stylist. The label sent me over with these clothes. I already picked out a bunch of different outfits for you guys, so if you just go into the dressing rooms and put them on we can get started as soon as the photographer gets here!" She seemed to bounce around excitedly, reminding me a lot of Alice. I was sure they'd get along.

We all found our dressing rooms and started putting the outfits on. I looked down in dismay as I realized that the record label must have been joking; I was _not _going to wear this!

My mood sank deeper when I heard Emmett yell from the next stall, "Oh _hell no_! I am _not_ wearing these pants! I think you got me confused with Alice!"

I drew back the sheet and saw Emmett standing there looking ridiculous in a pair of jeans so tight that he looked like he was suffocating. The stylist looked nervous, trying to figure out what was going on. Emmett looked so furious, I couldn't help but laugh.

"Dude, Em, it's okay. I think you look kinda cool," I teased.

"Eddie! Rose wants to have babies someday and I'll never have sperm again if I have to wear these girl pants!" he yelled. I couldn't stop myself, I burst out laughing until tears were streaming down my face.

Emmett looked like he was going to kill me. I saw his hands inching up to wrap themselves around my neck just as Jasper came rushing around the corner, looking panicked. "Edward, tell them I don't want to dye my hair black!" he said tightly under his breath.

I looked up to see a freakishly made up girl chasing him down with gloves and a bottle of hair dye clasped in her hand. I realized that they were expecting me to be the one to say something, so I cleared my throat awkwardly. Alice was the only one not looking at me; she was standing toe-to-toe with the clownish girl, glaring at her as if daring her to touch Jasper's hair with the blank dye.

"Let me just make a phone call and I'll be right back," I said. I looked around and saw the rest of my family, my band, looking relieved and guilty at the same time. They knew how much this was a dream of mine and they were afraid to get in the way, but I couldn't let them be changed so much for something that I wanted for myself. I quickly walked over and phoned our manager, telling him the situation. He agreed to call the label and get back to be as soon as he could.

I spotted Bella sitting on one of the couches by the props, looking like she didn't want to be there. I could tell she was uncomfortable because of our awkward moment by the pond a few days ago, but I didn't want her to feel that way. I walked over and sat next to her.

"So… did you see how silly Emmett looked in those jeans?" I said.

She laughed. "Oh my gosh, I thought he was going to turn purple!" she exclaimed. We both laughed until we were clutching our stomachs. Emmett was always good for a laugh and this time he didn't disappoint.

Feeling a little more at ease, we wandered back over to the rest of the group together. I hung close to Bella, trying to make her feel like she belonged there with us. I wanted her to belong with us.

My phone rang and I talked to our manager, feeling relieved. The label was reluctant to give up on the image they wanted for us, but they agreed that they wanted to keep us happy so they were willing to let us do our own thing within reason. I told everyone and they visibly relaxed.

Alice clapped her hands to rally us and turned around to shoo the stylist and make-up girl as far away as possible. Then she walked over to the racks of clothes and started throwing things every which way, shouting at each of us as she found something suitable for us to wear.

Finally, we were all dressed in something much more appropriate. Emmett was wearing a black t-shirt with dark blue Dickies and a pair of Chucks with a black baseball hat. Jasper was wearing a grey Dickies button-up workshirt with black Dickies pants and some solid black Chucks. Alice was dressed in a black tank top with red Dickies and black ballet flats while I was wearing a black hoodie under a blue Dickies work coat and a pair of dark jeans and a studded belt. We were excited to find that Dickies would be one of our sponsors, so we'd be able to wear stuff we already wore anyway.

We settled in and the photographer showed up to start the shoot. We loosened up as soon as the music started playing and we tried to absorb the ambience of listening to Hatebreed while we stood around looking tough. It was hilarious to see all of us trying so hard, because none of us was very intimidating.

I kept my eyes on Bella as much as possible, watching her reactions to the photo shoot.

BPOV

I watched as the Cullens and Jasper took their pictures for the cover art for their new album. They all looked really tough, and that made me want to giggle. I knew that Emmett was just a big teddy bear, but he had such a convincing look on his face that I actually started to believe that he could be menacing.

Edward looked gorgeous and I had a really hard time keeping my eyes away from him. I loved the way he was dressed and I felt my body responding to him against my best efforts.

_Down girl_, I reminded myself sternly. Just because Edward was personifying every delicious fantasy of mine come to life, I couldn't let myself enjoy it. He was off limits. I was getting tired of my uncontrollable physical reaction to him, and my lust-filled dreams were getting hotter every night. I just hoped that nobody could overhear me talking in my dreams.

I shifted self-consciously as I realized Edward was staring at me with his deep golden eyes. It felt as if he could see into my mind and read my thoughts. I looked away from him, focusing on Alice and her humorous attempts to look fierce. I knew her favorite show was _America's Next Top Model_, so I figured she was trying valiantly to channel Tyra Banks or something. I snickered quietly behind my hand while she wasn't looking.

As soon as the photographer was done and everyone was changed back into his or her own clothes, we headed back to the Cullen's house. I sat in the front with Edward, teasing him about the stylist and the make up artist who had tried to turn them into a bunch of sissy post-punk hardcore kids.

"Yeah, like I would be caught dead in _manscara_!" he laughed.

"Oh but just think how you wouldn't even have to buy new clothes, you could just raid Alice's wardrobe!" I snickered.

"Yeah or I could just steal all your clothes. I bet I'd look just fabulous in your pants," he said.

I choked as I thought about Edward getting in my pants. I'd be willing to bet he'd be fabulous in my pants, too. I blushed as I laughed at my horrible gutter mind and looked over to see Edward peeking at me from the corner of his eye as he tried to focus on the road.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Oh, uh, nothing. Just having a gutter moment in my head," I admitted guiltily. He just chuckled and turned his full attention back to the road.

Alice perked up from the back seat and said, "Hey guys! Who wants to go bowling?"

We spent the rest of the evening laughing and joking around, having so much fun I forgot all about my troubles with Jake and my problematic attraction to Edward. I felt like I was part of the Cullen family, and the more time I spent with them, the more I felt like I belonged. I never wanted to give them up.

The rest of the week passed in a blur of fun. I spent most of my time hanging out with Alice and Rosalie, but a lot of my time was also spent in Edward's room talking about music and sorting through his enormous music collection. He had such a varied taste in music that I felt I could get lost in it and never miss a thing.

On Friday, I was lying on the floor of his bedroom with his huge studio headphones on while Edward messed around on his piano. I was listening to my favorite Iron and Wine album, completely at peace. The sunlight filtering through the huge windows in Edward's bedroom was warm and inviting. I could feel myself beginning to drift off to sleep when the floor started to rumble. I looked up at Edward curiously, not being able to hear what was going on. His eyes widened as he looked down at me and I could see his mouth moving.

I took off the headphones and he said, "I think Jake's here."

I jumped up and ran down the stairs, and sure enough, Jake was standing in the entryway looking up at me. His face was clouded with concern and something else, something I couldn't put a name to. I stopped short on the bottom step, unsure.

He stepped forward and reached his arms out for me, pulling me into his warm embrace. I sunk my head into his solid chest and absorbed some of his endless supply of body heat. My eyes were closed but I could hear Edward coming down the stairs behind us, so I stepped out of the way and turned to look up at Jake.

"Hey, Bells. Miss me?" he grinned.

"Yeah, I did. Why didn't you call me to tell me you were back?" I lightly punched his arm in mock irritation.

"I wanted to surprise you. I was hoping we could go somewhere and talk," he said. The concerned look was back on his face and I looked at my feet, afraid my eyes would betray me by wandering to look at Edward.

Everyone came and greeted Jake as I went and grabbed my purse and brushed my hair. I didn't know what Jake wanted to say, but didn't want to say anything if he didn't bring it up. I knew telling Jake about my feelings for Edward would be a horrible idea, and I definitely wanted to avoid a scene now that Jake was home from tour for a while.

I ran back downstairs and grabbed Jake's hand, waving goodbye to everyone and promising to call Alice after I was done hanging out with Jake. We hopped in Jake's old beat up Rabbit and roared down the lane leading to the main road.

We drove down to First Beach, and after we climbed onto a big waterlogged tree trunk and got settled, Jake finally cleared his throat and began to speak. "Bella, I don't really know how to talk about this…"

I felt my stomach plummet as I looked at his face. I'd never seen this look on Jake's face before. "Just say whatever it is, Jake. I can't help you if I don't know what's going on," I said desperately.

"Well, I've been noticing how distracted you are lately and it got me to thinking about us and our relationship… we've been together for so long now and I guess I always figured that we'd get married and have a couple kids someday." He shifted around, looking like he wanted to fall into a hole.

I felt tears well up in my eyes. I didn't know how he knew, but he must have figured out my feelings for Edward. I panicked. "Jacob, you know how much I love you. I would never hurt you or leave you…" I began.

Jake cut in. "That's just it, Bella. I love you too and I never want to hurt you. That's why this is so hard to say…"

"Then just say it, Jake!" I pleaded.

"Okay, here goes," he took a deep breath. "Bella, I…"

EPOV

My stomach twisted as I watched Bella leave with Jake. The last week had been like a gift from the universe. I had been able to spend my days hanging out with Bella. Her beauty was breathtaking, both inside and out. I had such a hard time denying my feelings for her that were growing steadily by the day.

Every morning was its own brand of torture, waking up alone after nights filled with hot, sweaty dreams echoing with her passionate cries for me. Cold showers were my new best friend. I couldn't get past my own selfish desires for her. It ate at me every moment I spent with her.

Shortly after Jake stole Bella away, I grabbed my coat and headed into Port Angeles. I was in a foul mood and I wanted nothing more than to drown my sorrows. I hardly ever drank, but tonight seemed as good a day as any to get completely shitfaced.

I slouched down at the bar, my hand wrapped around a Jack and Coke while I replayed all the time I'd spent with Bella so far. I remembered in clear detail each laugh, each look, each time she'd bitten her lip. She drove me crazy and she had no idea.

I heard someone coming up behind me and I turned my head disinterestedly. A blonde woman who might have been attractive to most guys in the bar was standing slightly behind me, looking at me with a very feline expression in her eyes.

"Hey tiger, mind if I sit here?" she purred.

"Go ahead," I mumbled. I turned back to my drink and she rubbed her body against me as she sat on the stool next to mine. She turned to the bartender and ordered a drink before swiveling the stool back in my direction.

"So, what's a guy like you doing looking so glum on a Friday night?" she asked.

I raised my bloodshot eyes to hers and said, "Just trying to forget some things… or remember some things, I guess." I grumbled.

She laughed seductively. "Well, I can probably help you forget. What's your name, tiger?"

"Edward," I said.

"Well, Edward, I'm Tanya. It's nice to meet you," she purred. She held out her hand and I reluctantly shook it before her words echoed in my mind.

Her name was Tanya. I thought back to the night I gave Bella that stupid mix CD. Those drunk girls had been slobbering all over me and Bella had made up some joke about my girlfriend _Tanya_ being pissed off.

_Perfect_, I thought.

Tanya must have sensed a change in me because she threw some money down on the bar and took my hand, leading me out of the bar. I followed behind willingly.

**A/N: I know, you hate the cliffhangers. Honestly, I just didn't want the chapter to have too much in it. The next one will hopefully be up in the next few days. Check my profile for some music suggestions for this chapter. - HIE**


	7. The Freest Man

**A/N: I just want to thank everyone for being good sports about the cliffhangers in the previous chapter. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint after the build up. **

**I have posted music notes in my profile, but just in case you don't feel like going through it, cue up some Damien Jurado while you read this chapter okay? **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

_BPOV_

_Jake cut in. "That's just it, Bella. I love you too and I never want to hurt you. That's why this is so hard to say…" _

"_Then just say it, Jake!" I pleaded. _

"_Okay, here goes," he took a deep breath. "Bella, I…"_

He choked. I could see it in his face; he couldn't spit the words out of his mouth. I felt as if my body and my mind were separating. I could see myself as an observer, hovering over the scene. I could see Jake trembling and clenching his hands in his lap, looking like he wanted the earth to swallow him whole. Finally, he took a deep breath and looked up, his pleading eyes meeting mine as he began to speak in a rush.

"There was this girl on the tour after you left. She was in the band the label sent. She didn't know I had a girlfriend and I guess it never came up. Anyway, one night the bands were all relaxing in the bar after the show and she was flirting with me pretty hardcore. I was kinda drunk but I kept pushing her away. I didn't want to be rude or hurt her 'cuz I knew she was pretty tipsy too…" he trailed off, seeming to lose some of his steam.

"Go on," I encouraged.

"Well, she left me alone eventually but I saw some guys from the local band hitting on her and she started to get uncomfortable. I didn't want to get involved, but I figured I should at least tell them to back off. I could see them getting aggressive, so I went over and told them to leave her alone. They stopped for a while but when we were all getting ready to leave, I noticed she was outside smoking by herself and those guys were hanging all over her again. One of them got in her face and started giving her a hard time, calling her names and being a real dick. I ran out there and I got into it with him and his buddies. We ended up fighting and it got out of hand…"

My stomach twisted in sympathy for the poor girl in Jacob's story, but I still didn't understand where he was headed with it. I made some encouraging noises and he kept talking.

"Well, finally Quil and Embry and Seth came out and we were able to stop the fight before anyone really got hurt. I mean, that asshole and his friends had some black eyes and bloody lips, but I figured they deserved it for being such shitheads. I could tell Leah, that's her name, was pretty shaken so I offered to walk her back to the hotel and make sure she got inside okay. The rest of her band was already there and they had no idea what was going on.

Anyway, so when we got there and I walked her to her room, she seemed really nervous still so I went inside to help her relax. We watched a movie and I guess I still never told her about you, because there was just this moment and she kissed me. I figured she was just grateful, but then she started talking about how much she liked me and I was totally blown away. We kept kissing and…" Jake stopped. I could tell he didn't want to get into any details.

I was totally stunned. I really couldn't say that it surprised me, because I could tell that he was genuinely torn up about it and I figured it would have to be pretty bad. I never expected Jake to cheat on me, but this didn't really feel the way I expected it to. I still felt like a cloud floating above the entire scene, wishing that I could connect with my body and somehow speak to him.

He just looked at me with anguish in his eyes. I could see that he wanted me to say something, to say anything but I just felt frozen in shock. I honestly didn't feel angry with him. How could I be angry when I was harboring all those pent-up feelings about someone off limits myself?

Finally, Jake cleared his throat nervously and wiped his hands down his pants. "Bella, I know you're probably really angry and I just want you to know how sorry I am. I _never_ meant for anything like that to happen, and I never thought for a second that I would cheat on you. Leah didn't know I had a girlfriend but I never deliberately hid the fact that I was with you. Please say something!"

I looked up at him, curiously relieved. "Jake, it's okay. I'm not angry, honestly. I know that it was just the time and place and the situation got out of hand. I can understand…"

As I trailed off, Jake's face became confused and a little bit relieved. "Why aren't you angry at me, Bella? Why aren't you screaming at me and making me feel like the horrible asshole I am?" he asked.

_Here goes_, I thought. "Jake, I think our relationship has been one of the best things in my life. You are my best friend and I couldn't imagine all these years without you. I guess I'm just not mad because I feel like maybe… maybe we aren't supposed to be together anymore," I finished timidly.

My cheeks burned as my eyes bored holes in my shoes, willing Jake to speak.

"Bella, do you honestly believe that?" he asked.

He sounded so hurt. I looked up at him quickly before returning my eyes to the ground. "Jake, if I was truly _in love_ with you, don't you think I would be seriously pissed off and hurt over what you just told me? Instead, here I am feeling sympathy for this Leah girl and being glad that you were there to help her when those guys were trying to attack her."

I could tell Jake was totally blown away by my words. I figured he would expect us to break up, but maybe he thought it would be due to my anger and rampaging jealousy. I sort of wished I could deliver those emotions, just because I felt like poor Jacob was worth a girl's anger and jealousy. Instead, all I felt was a quiet sense of relief at not being the one who cheated. I knew that it was possible I would eventually give in to my feelings for Edward, and I definitely never wanted to hurt Jake in that way.

"So… you're saying you want to break up? You aren't mad, but you don't want to be with me anymore?" Jake's face was full of puzzlement and pain. I wished I could make it better, but I knew I could not.

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm sorry, Jake. I wish I could change things, but I can't. Besides, I don't think if you and I were really in love, you'd be able to have sex with someone else; so maybe we're both just finally realizing that we should be friends."

I stood up awkwardly, my legs shaking as I crossed to sit next to him. He huddled down into his jacket, his face slightly obstinate and angry. I knew he would need some time, but our friendship had always been strong. I hoped that he would come around and our bond wouldn't be completely destroyed.

"So I guess this is it, huh?" he asked bitterly.

"This is it for our relationship, but I will always be your friend Jacob; you know that. Whenever you're ready, I'll still be here. I just hope that you won't stay mad at me for long," I said sadly.

He didn't say anything else, so I finally stood up and walked back to the main road. I pulled out my cell phone and called Alice, hoping to catch her at home. I needed a ride back to the house.

_EPOV_

_Tanya must have sensed a change in me because she threw some money down on the bar and took my hand, leading me out of the bar. I followed behind willingly. _

I groaned pitifully as I rolled onto my back on the bed. The sunlight was pouring cheerfully through the cracks in my blinds, pounding against my abused eyelids. The sheets were tangled around my legs and I could feel the heavy taste of stale alcohol in my mouth. Ugh. I felt disgusting.

I threw my arm over my closed eyes, trying to shut out the light. I rarely ever had a hangover, and I was all too ready to swear off drinking if I could never have one again.

Finally, I sat up and cracked my eyes open carefully to peer at my surroundings. My clothes from the night before were tossed carelessly at the foot of my bed and the blankets looked like a tornado hit them. I winced as I heard my bedroom door slam.

"Finally, he rises from the dead! What happened boy-o, couldn't get it up last night?" Emmett cheerfully shouted as he plopped down on my bed, causing it to dip and set my queasy stomach swaying.

"Ugh, Emmett, don't you have something better to do than bug the shit out of me?" I growled.

"Hey, when my baby brother calls me in the middle of the night to pick him up from some chick's house because he's too drunk to drive his own ass home, I think I deserve an explanation!" he said indignantly as he punched my arm playfully.

My stomach heaved and I made a run for the bathroom, hoping this would be the only bout of vomiting for the day. I retched piteously into the toilet before laying my head on the cool porcelain rim. I could hear Emmett's pounding footsteps following me into the bathroom before he spoke again.

"Bro, seriously, what happened?" he asked, quieter this time.

I must have been quite a mess last night if I had called Emmett, of all people, to come pick me up. I groaned as I recalled the rest of the night after leaving the bar with that Tanya chick.

"Nothing happened, _bro_. I just met this girl, I was drunk, she wanted to take me back to her place, and I didn't feel up to it. I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as I could so I called you and the rest is history," I groaned.

"Hey, she was pretty hot. Why didn't you seal the deal?" he asked. I could hear the water in the sink running and he handed me a glass of water. I took it gratefully before replying.

"She's just not my type. I'm not into doing that kind of thing, you know that."

Emmett patted my shoulder sympathetically and finally left me alone on the bathroom floor. Eventually, I felt it was safe to get up and decided to take a shower and brush my teeth.

Once I was clean, I walked back into my bedroom and sat down at my computer. I took the remote for my stereo and turned it on before I remembered the album it would play. My aching head dropped onto the desk as I heard the familiar beat of the song Bella and I had listened to that day by the pond.

_Great_, I thought bitterly. Like I needed to be reminded of the one person I was trying to avoid thinking about! I slammed my head against the desk, hoping the pain would overpower the ache in my stomach from the memory of Bella's beautiful face.

I grabbed the remote and switched the CD to the next disc. The cheerful sounds of Tilly and the Wall filled my room, helping me to forget the face swimming behind my eyes.

I could hear the door slam downstairs while I checked my email. Our Myspace page was getting a bunch of hits now that we were starting to hype the new EP. I could feel the familiar excitement building in my stomach at the thought of being able to see my dream come true.

My ears unwillingly perked as I heard two pairs of footsteps coming down the hall, only to stop at Alice's room. I could hear her little chirpy voice echoing through the walls, but I couldn't decipher what she was saying. She sounded concerned. I couldn't hear the other person's voice, so I just turned back to my computer and lost myself in doing some stuff online for a while.

After a time, I heard a soft knock on my door and I turned to tell whoever it was to come in. Alice stood in the doorway, looking worried.

"Hey Edward, I was thinking we should have a movie night tonight. Bella's feeling really crappy and I want to cheer her up. I think something happened with Jake but she doesn't really want to talk about it," she said.

"Er, sure, Alice. We can do whatever you want, just give me an hour to finish some stuff really quick," I said. She nodded before turning and leaving, closing my door behind her.

I wanted to kick myself. The jump of unruly hope in my stomach at Alice's words made me feel like a jerk, but I couldn't help it. I didn't know what had happened between Jake and Bella, but I also couldn't help hoping that maybe I would finally get a chance to tell her how I felt about her.

I threw myself down onto my bed and gave myself a stern lecture that lasted for the next half an hour. I wanted to have myself completely in control before I went downstairs to join the rest of my family; it wouldn't do to let them see my sick preoccupation with this girl who already had a boyfriend.

I finally felt like I was under some reasonable control and I went to the bathroom to check my appearance. I ran my hands through my disheveled bronze locks and performed a bad-breath check before heading downstairs.

My siblings along with Jasper and Rosalie were all sitting in the living room, watching me come down the stairs expectantly.

Alice said, "Hey Edward, do you mind seeing what's keeping Bella? We're about to start the movie!"

I turned back around and bounded up the steps, my feet carrying me to the door next to Alice's. Bella had been staying in the guest room off and on when she wasn't being dragged into sleeping with Alice. I knocked hesitantly and waited for her to answer.

"Come in," she called quietly. I nervously turned the doorknob and stepped inside, taking my time to look around the room I'd seen a million times. The walls were a soft pale blue, the bedspread was made up in black and white toile, and my old computer sat on the delicate white desk facing the window.

I saw Bella perched nervously at the end of the bed, looking at me with her big beautiful eyes. They were rimmed in red and I cursed internally, suddenly unsure of how I should act around her.

"Hey, um, Alice wanted to see if you were ready to come down and watch the movie," I said nervously.

"Oh, yeah… I'll be down in a minute. I just want to cheer up a bit before I go down so I don't bring everyone down with my crappy mood," she answered sadly.

Still not really sure of my actions, I felt myself wander over to sit next to her on the bed. I looked down at her as she stared down at the floor beneath her feet. Her hands were stuffed into her black hoodie and her hair was covering her profile from my view.

"You don't have to talk about it or anything, but we're all here for you, you know," I said awkwardly.

She looked up at me then, her eyes luminous with unshed tears. "Thank you, Edward. I am really grateful to be here, you know," she replied.

Not knowing what else to say, I just nodded and patted her quickly on the leg before standing up and leaving the room as soon as I could without seeming rude. I really needed to get out of there before I tried to kiss that sadness off her face.

I ran back down the stairs and threw myself onto one of the couches, waiting for someone to start the movie so I could take a moment to get a hold on myself once again. I was getting really annoyed with my unruly hormones. I couldn't possibly begin to understand why I was being turned into such a wimp over this girl, no matter how gorgeous or amazing she was.

My eyes turned unwillingly toward the stairs as I heard Bella's quiet footsteps coming downstairs. I watched as she appeared, looking a little better than she had when I'd bolted from her room. She smiled bravely at everyone before coming to sit down between Alice and myself. I shifted over to give her some more room and Jasper started the movie.

The night progressed slowly, all of us trying our best to draw a smile or a laugh from Bella. I wanted desperately to see her smile again, but I knew that whatever was bothering her must be pretty bad because she just couldn't seem to pull out of her bad mood.

Finally, after two more movies, we were ready to call it a night. I stood up from the couch and stretched, feeling my muscles relax after being strung so tightly in the effort not to touch Bella. I yawned hugely as I walked toward the stairs, saying goodnight to everyone.

I was just coming out of the bathroom when I overheard Alice and Bella talking in her bedroom. The door was cracked just a bit and I felt guilty listening in, but I couldn't stop myself. I inched closer infinitesimally and held my breath as I heard Alice ask Bella the question I was dying to hear the answer to.

"So, Bella… did you and Jake break up?" she asked quietly.

I heard Bella sigh before she answered, "Yes. He told me he had sex with someone while on tour and I knew I had to end it."

My eyes narrowed and I had to resist the urge to growl. How dare he cheat on Bella! I was furious; Jake was obviously demented if he thought that Bella was the type of girl he could mistreat that way. I was busy planning my vengeance on him for hurting Bella when I heard Alice speak again.

"Bella, no! That's horrible! Are you okay?" she asked, sounding completely scandalized.

"Yeah, actually I am. I wasn't mad when he told me, and that's how I knew it was over. I should have felt sick to my stomach, but instead I just felt sorry for him because he looked so beaten up over it," she replied.

I stopped in my tracks, completely confused as I tried to reassess the situation. Bella had been the one to break up with Jake for cheating on her, but she wasn't still in love with him. What did that mean? My mind was busy trying to digest all the possibilities when I snapped back to reality, realizing I was still standing outside my sister's door like a creep and listening to their conversation. I quickly walked back to my bedroom, shutting the door quietly.

I had to think about this. The hope in my chest was warring painfully with my sensible side. I was completely torn between running back to Alice's bedroom and dragging Bella away to kiss her senseless and staying holed up in here until she left. I didn't want to look like a desperate puppy following her around; I knew I would have to come up with some sort of plan.

**A/N: So I hope this chapter made you feel better! Do you hate Jake? I don't, I think he was bad but his intentions were honorable. Edward certainly has his work cut out for him, though… So, what did you think? I loved all the reviews from the last chapter! -HIE**


	8. No One Gets the Best of Me

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update, everyone! I was so busy playing catch up with homework and I needed to plot the next chapter so my brain has been verrrrrrrry busy:). Anyway, here we go, I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters. BOO!**

_Review:_

_I stopped in my tracks, completely confused as I tried to reassess the situation. Bella had been the one to break up with Jake for cheating on her, but she wasn't still in love with him. What did that mean? My mind was busy trying to digest all the possibilities when I snapped back to reality, realizing I was still standing outside my sister's door like a creep and listening to their conversation. I quickly walked back to my bedroom, shutting the door quietly._

_I had to think about this. The hope in my chest was warring painfully with my sensible side. I was completely torn between running back to Alice's bedroom and dragging Bella away to kiss her senseless and staying holed up in here until she left. I didn't want to look like a desperate puppy following her around; I knew I would have to come up with some sort of plan._

Three weeks later…

EPOV

I had been avoiding Bella again. I just didn't want to run the risk of getting her alone only to ruin everything by being a complete idiot. Therefore, we were spending a lot of time with my family and I was perfectly content to let things unfold.

We were finished with the EP for the record label, and now we were getting things together for the next tour. We would be going on tour by ourselves in the next couple weeks, and I was really torn. I wanted to spend as much time with Bella as I possibly could, but I was having an increasingly difficult time staying away from her.

_Yeah, because that makes total sense, you idiot_, the voice in my head said sarcastically. I knew Bella was still getting her life back together after everything with Jake. She wasn't likely to respond well if I tried to make a pass at her. I sighed, trying to push away my impatience. Bella was worth the wait, and I just had to keep reminding myself of that.

I was currently sitting at the kitchen table at my house, trying to work on some lyrics for the _Volturi_ album. I just wasn't satisfied with some of the songs I'd already written, and I wanted to try and do a better job on them before we recorded them. The idea kept shifting in my head, and now the plot of the back story was focused on a human girl falling in love with one of the good vampires while the evil vampires tried to keep them apart. I had to resist the urge to name the main bad guy "Jake." _Too obvious_, I reminded myself.

I looked up as I heard the front door slam. I could hear voices, and I immediately identified Alice and Rosalie's excited tones. Their footsteps came closer to the kitchen and I pushed aside the pad of paper I'd been working on.

They stepped into the kitchen carrying a ton of shopping bags, and that's when I heard Bella griping about Alice buying her something or other at the mall. I just grinned, knowing that Alice couldn't help herself when it came to shopping. She was seriously addicted, and we should probably have an intervention one of these days but nobody really took it to heart. Alice was just Alice, and we were all too used to it by now.

They turned and spotted me sitting at the table, and I sat patiently while Alice showed me every single piece of clothing she'd bought. I knew that if I just kept the polite interested look fixed on my face, she would get her little fashion show over a lot quicker. I nodded when it was required of me and commented when she expected me to. I knew the drill.

Finally, Alice and Rose stampeded up the stairs to go put their stuff away and I watched as Bella dropped herself into the nearest chair like a rag doll. "Tired?" I asked with amusement.

"Ugh, you have no idea. Alice is like a tornado with that credit card," she groaned.

I laughed as I let my eyes roam over her. Bella had finally moved back in with her dad after her and Jake broke up. I was sorry to see her go, but I knew her dad wanted her to be at home with him. I still missed being able to find any excuse to see her whenever I wanted to, though. Even if she was always running around with Alice and Rose, I never really saw as much of her these days. The only time she and I were together consisted of silly group activities, like bowling or going to see movies.

I watched as she set her bag down before sliding a backpack off her back. Bella had enrolled in the local community college for the spring quarter about a week after breaking up with Jake. While I was glad that she was moving on with her life, I was disappointed that it meant she wouldn't be joining us when we went on tour soon.

"So, what classes are you taking?" I asked, interested.

"I've got a philosophy class, English, and a creative writing class. I'm also taking photography, but I'm not very good at it yet," she said.

"So do you like being back in school?" I inquired.

"Yeah, it's a lot different than being in high school. I have more freedom and a lot less homework with only having four classes, but I guess I'll kind of miss all the traveling I did with Wolf Runner," she replied.

"Well, you know you can always join us on tour if you wanted to. I'm sure we could make room for you," I said before kicking myself internally. I wasn't really doing a very good job at not acting like a lovesick puppy. I tried to get myself in check before I said something even dumber.

She looked up at me, an expression of surprise on her face. "Well I don't think I'll be able to, since you guys are leaving soon. Maybe after the next quarter…" she trailed off.

"Yeah, I know. I just thought I'd offer. I know Alice and Rosalie will miss you a lot while we're gone," I said quickly, trying to cover up the wistfulness in my voice.

"I'll miss them, too," she said, looking down at the tabletop.

I decided to change the subject, so I got up and walked over to the refrigerator. My mom had drilled manners into our heads from the cradle. "Do you want anything to eat or drink?" I asked.

"What do you have?" she asked, standing up and walking over to where I stood. She peeked over my arm into the fridge, examining its contents.

"Let's see, we have some leftover pizza, some leftover fried chicken, some apples and anything else you can see," I said.

"I'll have a Coke if you don't mind," she said politely. I dropped my arm from the door and went to grab her Coke, and my arm brushed her side in the process. She jumped back quickly.

"What, what did I do?" I asked, alarmed.

"Er, nothing, I'm just really ticklish, that's all," she said, blushing.

I grinned as an evil idea popped into my head. I set the Coke down on the counter and advanced, stalking her toward the island in the middle of the kitchen. "Oh really?" I asked, my smile a mile wide.

"Oh, no you don't Edward! EDWARD CULLEN, YOU STOP THAT RIGHT THIS MINUTE!" she yelled with a terrified look on her face. "I hate being tickled!" She huddled into herself, wrapping her arms around her waist.

I just kept advancing, my arms reached out toward her with my fingers wiggling in anticipation. I was chuckling as I finally had her pinned against the island. My fingers dug into her sides and I laughed uproariously as I tickled her. I could see her lovely blush spreading across her cheeks as she squealed, trying to arch away from my merciless hands.

When she arched her body into mine, my mind went blank and I forgot what I was doing as all the blood immediately pooled in my groin. I gasped and my pupils dilated as I looked down at her. She was still laughing, trying to avoid my hands. When she noticed I'd stopped, she looked up at me, her face glowing with mirth.

My hands dropped to the counter on either side of her hips and I stared down into her beautiful eyes, getting lost in their deep brown depths. I saw them widen as she inhaled sharply, realizing what I was about to do.

"Bella…" I sighed, before dropping my head down slowly. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights as my eyes drifted closed. My lips brushed against hers softly, and I immediately felt the jolt of electricity zing through my veins. I tried to deepen the kiss, but I felt her small hands come up and press against my chest. I reluctantly raised my head and looked back at her.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I can't," she said, looking panicked. I felt a crushing weight land on my chest as I hurriedly released her, stepping back to give her some space.

"No, no, it's okay Bella. I shouldn't have done that. I'm really sorry," I replied, feeling like a complete idiot. I ran my hand through my hair, frustrated.

"I really like you, Edward. I just don't think I'm ready to start dating again. I mean, I just broke up with Jake less than a month ago and I still have a lot of stuff I need to sort out before I move on," she said sadly.

"It's okay, I understand. I just got wrapped up in the moment, I guess," I said, my eyes downcast.

I heard her sigh in relief before she said, "So, are we still friends?"

"Yeah, friends," I said, quietly. I tried to ignore the disappointment and regret pulsing through me with every heart beat.

I could see her turning to escape in my peripheral vision. I felt my determination rise and I couldn't stop myself. I still needed to get something off my chest, and maybe now was the perfect time to do so.

"Hey, Bella?" She turned around and looked at me, curiosity in her expression.

"I just want you to know that we're still friends, but I really like you and I think you should know. When we leave for tour, you'll have plenty of time to figure things out. I'll wait for you to be ready. All you have to do is say the word, and I'll be here. I like you too much to give up on you," I said.

Her eyes widened in shock and I watched as the blush spread to the roots of her hair. I had my heart in my throat as I waited to hear her response.

She finally nodded and said, "I'll write to you."

With that, she turned around and ran out the front door.

BPOV

The Cullens had been gone for three months. I missed them terribly. Well, okay, so I missed Alice and Rose but the person I was _really_ missing was Edward. I sighed in frustration as I threw down my pencil, realizing I wasn't going to get any homework done.

My eyes drifted over to my computer, where the latest email from Edward was still sitting open on my desktop. We had been writing back and forth, talking about anything and everything but never the one thing that was sitting there between us like a snake coiled to strike.

Of course, I wanted to tell him everything that was going on inside my mind. I wanted to tell him how amazing it felt when his lips brushed mine in the kitchen that day. I wanted to beg him to come home and _really_ lay one on me. I wanted to live out every single one of the incredibly hot and sexy dreams I'd been having about him.

I slammed my head down on my desk, trying to relieve the frustration building inside. I was such a fool for turning him down that day. I could have had all of Edward Cullen, but instead I had to push him away and run away like a little girl.

I knew my problems needed time and I was definitely working on them, but I couldn't help but be afraid that he would meet someone else before I would get a chance with him. My heart froze as I thought about what had happened with Jake and that girl while he was on tour, and I felt pain claw at my chest. I didn't want Edward to meet someone else!

I felt pathetic. I'd been spending a lot of my free time trying to figure out what I wanted now that the Cullens were gone. Not only was I still sorting things out with Jake, but I also had some pretty old issues that I needed to deal with and now was definitely the time. After my mom left my dad when I was a baby, I knew that love wasn't necessarily enough. Moreover, people could convince themselves they were in love when they really weren't. After all, wasn't I living proof of that?

Edward was amazing, and if I did get the chance to be with him, then I didn't want to mess it up. I had to get past all these issues that kept me from being in a real relationship. I felt trapped by the fear of rejection. So many things could go wrong, and I was just so afraid of anything coming between us.

What if Edward and I got together, and he went on tour and met someone else? What if he cheated on me? When Jake cheated on me, I wasn't that hurt because I was already planning on breaking up with him. If Edward cheated on me, I could already tell that my heart would be destroyed. I wasn't prepared for that.

Edward could also break up with me. Maybe he would think I wasn't good enough for him. Right now, we were just friends. We'd only ever shared that practically nonexistent kiss. There was no guarantee that we would be compatible when it came to the physical stuff. I'd only ever had sex with Jake, so I was relatively inexperienced.

All the worst-case scenarios continued to run through my head as I stared out my bedroom window. The sun was dropping behind the trees, leaving long shadows on the back lawn. Charlie was on a call for work and I was just sitting here, trying to finish my essay for English.

Finally, I shook myself out of my reverie. I was beginning to get depressed, and that wasn't good. I decided to put on some music to lift my mood.

I got up and stretched, walking over to my record player. I was in the mood for some Velvet Teen, and my favorite record was already queued up and ready to go. I dropped the needle and went back to my computer desk to re-read Edward's email.

**From: **

**To: **

**Greetings from the Great Lakes!**

**I am sitting in the back of the club, waiting for sound check to start so I thought I'd finally write you back. I was thinking about you yesterday as I listened to Sufjan Stevens. His album for Michigan is probably my favorite. That guy is crazy, I swear. I wonder if he's really going to finish his plan to write an album for every state? **

**Anyway, I'm in the process of making you another mix CD of all the bands we've played with so far. It's probably going to be pretty epic, considering we've already played thirty or so shows. I promise to weed out the crappy stuff, though. **

**How's school going? Alice tells me you're getting really good at photography. Maybe you can be our official band photographer, eh? That would be awesome!**

**In response to your last email, I have read a lot of philosophy and I have to say that Neitzsche is probably my favorite philosopher so far. He has many fascinating things to say. I know when you study him, you'll see why. Look up his idea called "amor fati." It means "the love of fate." The idea is that everything is as it should be, and ****"that one wants nothing to be other than it is, not in the future, not in the past, not in all eternity. Not merely to endure that which happens of necessity, still less to dissemble it... but to LOVE it." Basically, it's the idea that people should embrace their fate and love it as opposed to fighting it. **

**Anyway, I thought you would enjoy that. I should probably get going, Emmett is trying to start a belching contest and I am **_**not**_** going to be roped into it.**

**Everyone really misses you. **

**Edward**

I closed my eyes after I finished reading his words, trying to picture his face in my mind. I mentally traced the lines of his jaw and cheekbones, running my fingertips over his eyebrows and down the tip of his nose. I indulged in a fantasy where I let myself run my hands through his messy bronze hair, feeling its thick silkiness between my fingers.

The delicate music coming from my record player drifted over me as I continued my imaginary exploration of Edward's beautiful face. The violins and piano swelled in a melancholy wave, and my heart splintered as I came back to reality.

My eyes focused on the clock and I realized I'd been fantasizing for the last twenty minutes. I was always able to get lost in my head for hours at a time, so I wasn't really surprised.

I heard my phone beep and I got up to check the display. There was a text message from Alice saying that she was going to call me tomorrow to catch up. That must mean that they were done playing.

Silence filled the room as the record spun toward the hidden track on the album. I waited to hear the frantic beat of the song. This was my favorite on the album, and it was the only reason I had bought an inconvenient record player in the first place. It was only on the vinyl release, unfortunately. This song was definitely worth it.

The beat filled my ears and I sat on the edge of my bed, getting lost in the lyrics. Judah Nagler knew how to write a love song like nobody's business. His words never failed to touch my heart, and now was no exception. The next verse of the song began and I felt my heart pound in my chest as a moment of clarity slammed into me.

"_They say the rules for fools who rush in  
are the same as Russian roulette  
life, if you choose an empty chamber  
or a bullet in the head  
and you can say that you won't play  
or go shoot something else instead  
either way, the last thought that you think  
will be the first that you forget  
but lest the fear of your own life  
cause you to live like you'd met death  
know love while you still can, fill your lungs  
let me hear your quickened breath  
sing like you were suicidal  
tremble atop the treble clef  
to hell with this life, if without  
love, let your eyes roll back to heaven…"_

I needed to be brave. I didn't want to let someone as amazing as Edward slip through my fingers without putting up a good fight. It may not work out, but I couldn't let that stop me from trying. I had to give it a chance. I may end up with a broken heart, but I could live through it. What I couldn't live with was the regret of letting him go.

I picked up my phone, my hands shaking with nerves. I could feel the cold sweat breaking out between my shoulder blades as my heart stuttered in my chest. I opened the phone book and scrolled down to Edward's name.

Taking a deep fortifying breath, I hit "send."

He answered on the second ring. "Bella?" he asked as his smooth voice caressed my ear.

"Hey, Edward…" I said, feeling some of my bravado slipping.

"Hey! This is certainly a pleasant surprise. What's up?" Okay, he sounded happy to hear from me. I could do this, I told myself.

"Well, remember when we talked before you left for tour? Do you remember what you said?" I asked, feeling like an idiot.

There was a moment of silence. Finally, he said, "Yes…"

This was it. I breathed deeply and responded, "Well, I'm ready."

**A/N: Oh! Slam! I hate cliffhangers but I really wanted to leave this at a breathless moment to keep the tension going. The next chapter is going to blow your everlovin' mind and I can't wait to write it. In all honestly, I probably won't wait. I hope you guys liked this chapter, it certainly took long enough for me to plot out. Things will be picking up speed from here on out, so don't worry your pretty little heads. Oh, please please go and check out the Velvet Teen song used in this chapter. It's amazing. They are my favorite band. The song is titled "No One Gets the Best of Me." -HIE**


	9. Breathe

**A/N: I'm so stoked on all the reviews I've been getting for my little ol' story. Thank you all so much for taking the time to write and let me know how you like it. I really appreciate it******

**That being said, I hope that everyone enjoys this chapter and please don't hesitate to leave me some love 'cuz it makes my little heart go pitter-pat for reals. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is the lucky bitch who owns Edward Cullen. Sigh. All I did was put tattoos on him. **

BPOV

"_Well, remember when we talked before you left for tour? Do you remember what you said?" I asked, feeling like an idiot. _

_There was a moment of silence. Finally, he said, "Yes…" _

_This was it. I breathed deeply and responded, "Well, I'm ready."_

There was complete silence on the other end of the line. I started to sweat. I held my breath, just waiting for his reaction. Maybe I shouldn't have done this over the phone. I could have waited for him to get home from tour.

I was just about to break out into hives when his voice finally filled my ear. "Are you sure?" he said, sounding skeptical.

I cleared my throat, trying to shake off the butterflies battling in my stomach. "Yes…," I said, a little breathlessly.

There was another pause, shorter this time. Then I heard him let out a big sigh before saying, "If you're sure… I don't want to pressure you, Bella. I want you to be ready before we start anything."

I could hear some voices in the background, and Edward started talking to somebody else. I waited for him to come back to the phone, not really knowing what to say. I felt like I'd just bared my heart and I was feeling a little disappointed at the way this conversation was shaping up.

"Sorry, Bella, hold on," Edward said, sounding distracted.

I sighed, starting to feel really stupid. His conversation continued with the other person, and I finally said, "Edward? I'm sorry but I've got to go." I felt like crap. I had no idea what to think about this.

Edward came back to the phone, sounding apologetic. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I'll call you tomorrow when I don't have people talking in my ear, okay? I really want to talk to you. I miss you," he added, sounding impatient.

"I…miss you too, Edward," I said, somewhat half-heartedly. I really _did _miss him, but I wasn't about to throw myself at him until I knew he was in this as much as I was. I wouldn't be a fool over Edward Cullen, no matter how perfect he was.

I hung up on Edward and tossed my phone onto the bed with a feeling of disgust. I felt let down. When Edward had professed his feelings for me before he left for the tour, I'd believed every word. I may have been afraid, but I'd felt like he really meant what he said.

Now I wasn't so sure.

EPOV

I hung up my cell phone, feeling frustrated. I wanted Bella, and when she'd told me she was ready to start something with me, I'd felt galvanized by hope. I had to restrain the whoop of joy that wanted so badly to escape.

Then reality had snuck back in, with its killjoy tendencies. Bella only broke up with Jake about four months ago. Was she really ready for a new relationship? She had been with him for years, and on top of that, I knew she had some issues from her parents' divorce that she was still trying to resolve.

I couldn't rush her; it could ruin something that felt so promising that I'd been ignoring all the girls who threw themselves at me at every show. I didn't want to just jump into a relationship with her, knowing that she may not be as into it as I was.

I thought back over our conversation and cursed myself. I'd come off like a disinterested asshole. Great. The girl I'd been dreaming about was probably kicking herself right now because I couldn't tell Emmett to leave me alone long enough to have a proper conversation with her.

I groaned as I tried to decide how I could make this up to her. I wanted her to have faith in me and _us_.

I ran through the possibilities. I could send her flowers- no, too lame. I could make her a ridiculously romantic mix CD- eh, maybe. I could tape Emmett's mouth shut and call her back, telling her what a jackass I'd been… hmm, possible. Then again, she'd probably ignore me if I called her now. Crap.

Then I felt divine inspiration hit me. This would have to work, or I was totally screwed.

I grabbed my laptop and opened up my music player to compile a list of songs. I would have to come prepared.

BPOV

I opened the front door and tossed my book bag next to the coat tree. I didn't bother to call out for my dad because I knew he wouldn't be here. I sighed in relief at having the house all to myself.

Charlie was gone on a fishing trip all weekend with Jake's dad. I was relieved; I was still moping from the conversation with Edward last night. I didn't want him to ask questions, because I knew he was still pretty upset over Jake and I breaking up.

I walked over to the TV and put a Saddle Creek sampler on that I hadn't listened to in awhile. It felt good to play my music loudly. I turned and went into the kitchen to start pulling things out for my solo dinner.

The pasta was boiling and the vegetables were sautéing on the stove when my phone beeped, indicating I had a text message. I grabbed it from my bag and opened it up.

**From: Alice**

**To: Bella**

**You better tell me everything, missy!**

I sighed, wondering if Edward had told her about my phone call last night. It would be pretty embarrassing if I'd made a fool out of myself in front of Edward _and_ my new best friend as well.

I decided to ignore the message for now, because I was still feeling too depressed. I really liked Edward, and now that I'd made the decision to give it a chance, I was feeling let down. Maybe Edward had gotten over me in the three months they'd been gone.

_Or_, the voice in my head said, _maybe he's already met someone else_. I groaned in frustration and decided to distract myself. I would try not to make assumptions until I spoke to him again.

The timer for the pasta went off and I busied myself draining it. Some of the boiling water splashed over my hand and I cursed in pain. I quickly finished dumping the water out and turned the cold water on.

I was running my red hand under the faucet when I heard my phone ringing. I turned the water off and wiped my hand on a towel, hoping it wouldn't blister before I picked up my phone.

I felt my stomach twist into knots as I saw Edward's name flashing across the screen. I took a fortifying breath and answered.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey, Bella. What are you doing?" he asked.

"I was just cooking some dinner for myself. What about you?" I replied.

"Just hanging out," he said casually. I wondered if he would get to the point and bring up our talk, but he just continued with the chitchat. "So where's Charlie?" he asked.

I was starting to get impatient. I was dying to know what he was thinking. "He's gone for the weekend. Listen, I wanted to talk to you about last night. I know you've been gone a long time, so I don't want you to feel bad if things have changed on your end...," I began before he interrupted me.

"I _have_ been gone for a long time, and I want to talk about this too, so why don't you come open your door?" he said.

My brain stopped working. _Wait, what?_

I must have been silent for too long, because all I could hear was the song switching and the frantic pounding of my heart. My favorite song on the sampler drifted from the speakers in the living room.

"Breathe, Bella," Edward said. That's when I realized what he'd meant. I dropped my phone and ran to the door, yanking it open.

There, on my front porch, was the most amazingly gorgeous man I'd ever laid eyes on. Edward was leaning against the railing, holding his phone and grinning from ear to ear.

"Edward!" I said breathlessly.

"Hey, you," he said softly.

"_Breathe to release  
And dispel what you dream  
Just be glad we can kiss…"_

Without warning, Edward stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my waist. He lifted me up and I felt my entire world shift as his lips landed on mine. I sighed as I sank into the kiss. I could feel a thousand tiny starbursts erupting over my skin, making me incandescent. Edward's scent wrapped around me and I clenched my eyes shut in ecstasy. This was the most romantic moment of my life, by far.

His arms were hard and warm around me as his mouth continued to move softly on mine. I reached up to bury my hands in his hair, half expecting him to pull away and tell me not to touch it. Jake always ruined moments like that with his hair obsession, but Edward never missed a beat. He actually seemed to enjoy my hands tugging on his hair.

The music washed over us, amazingly perfect. I was in heaven and I hoped Edward was right there with me. It would be a shame for me to die from happiness in this moment, only to leave this perfect specimen of manhood behind.

"_It's just I finally found  
A place where I can breathe  
It's just I finally found  
A place where I can sleep…"_

Edward set me down gently without letting me go. I looked up at him, completely dazed. The song ended and he smiled down at me so sweetly I swore my heart was going to beat out of my chest.

"Hi," I breathed. Somewhere in my brain, I knew I sounded like an idiot but I couldn't muster the brain power to care much at this point. Edward was _here_ and he had just given me the most beautiful kiss I'd ever had.

"Hi," he said back, still smiling. "So, does that mean you missed me?"

"Yes!" I squeaked. I was so happy to have him here; I didn't even know what to do. I tried to shake the fog out of my mind and looked around, trying to decide what to say next. What did one say after a moment like that, anyway?

He chuckled and I blushed, embarrassed by my obvious distraction. Finally, he said, "Do I smell your dinner?"

I gasped and ran to the kitchen to turn off the burner under the vegetables. They didn't look too overcooked, so I quickly tossed them with the pasta. I threw it all in a bowl and put it on the kitchen table before returning to the living room.

Edward was standing in front of the TV, flipping through my CD's. "See anything you want to listen to?" I asked.

"Hmm, I think I want to check out this Amandine band. They're Swedish, right?" he asked as he pulled it out of the case and put it in the DVD player.

"Yeah, I think so," I replied. I really wasn't very interested in my music collection right now; I had more interesting things to talk about right now.

He stood up and I walked over to him with a goofy smile on my face. "I just can't believe you're here," I said. "What did you tell everyone? How long are you going to be here? Wait, don't tell me that because I don't want to know. I'll just be sad because I know it won't be long enough for me," I said.

He laughed and said, "I didn't really tell anybody anything too revealing, but I'm pretty sure Alice figured things out when I was so mad at Emmett for interrupting our phone call last night."

"Damn that Emmett!" I said, half-jokingly.

"Yeah, I really wanted to throttle him for it but whatever. I'm here now, and not even Emmett's big fat mouth can get in the way now," he laughed.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest, squeezing him with all my might. He smelled so heavenly. I could never figure out how the Cullens always smelled so clean and fresh on tour while the every other person I knew always smelled like a dump truck on the road.

I took his hand and tugged him into the kitchen so we could eat. We sat down across from each other and I dished up the pasta, handing him a heaping plate.

"When did you get here?" I asked.

"I landed at SeaTac about two hours ago," he replied. I did some quick mental math and decided he must have teleported here, because nobody in their right mind would drive that fast from SeaTac to Forks.

He must have seen my expression, because he laughed and said, "I was a little bit impatient to get here."

I blushed and looked down at my plate as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. I was so happy he was here. I felt like an idiot for doubting him now that I could see with my own eyes how much he must like me.

I tried to act nonchalant, but I was jumping up and down inside. He was so good looking, and he was here at my kitchen table. He was here because he wanted to be with me, and I was just dying in happiness.

We finished eating and I got up to clear the table, but Edward stopped me with a hand on my wrist. "Let me," he said simply.

I nodded and sat back down, watching as he picked up the dishes and took them to the sink so he could wash them. He was being so sweet and I just sat there, bemused. I was completely dazzled by him.

The sun had gone down outside, and it was dark in the rest of the house. The music was drifting through, seeming to emphasize how alone we were. I cleared my throat nervously as my hands began to shake. I didn't know what to do with him now that the food was gone.

_You could always jump him_, my brain whispered. That idea certainly had merit. I considered it for all of about five seconds before I discarded it. I didn't want to look too desperate or slutty. I wasn't even sure what was going to happen between us; sex at this point would just complicate things.

I sighed, feeling disappointed. I wasn't normally a very sexual person, but then again, I'd never had sex with someone like Edward. Something told me he'd be able to turn me into a _very_ sexual person.

Edward finished up in the kitchen and came back to the table, looking at me with an amused expression on his face. "So, what would you like to do now?" he asked.

I shook my head to clear it of the thoughts about Edward and sexy times, still not really sure what we could do. "Er, how about we watch a movie?" I asked lamely.

"Sure," he answered. He reached down for my hand and wrapped it in his before pulling me up to stand next to him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me gently to him, burying his face in my hair. I could hear him taking deep breaths as I wrapped my arms around him and did the same.

"You smell even better than I remember," he said.

"So do you," I said, blushing. I loved the way he smelled; it was all spicy and fresh.

He pulled his arms back and released me, and we walked into the living room hand-in-hand. I let him pick the movie and we curled up on the couch together to watch it.

The movie passed in a blur. My mind was too focused on Edward's warm body next to mine. I wanted to kiss him again so badly, but I was afraid to let things get out of hand. His fingers were busy combing softly through my hair, and it felt wonderful.

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew the movie was over and Edward was pulling me up into his arms. I looked around groggily as I realized he was carrying me up the stairs. "Which room is yours, Bella?" he whispered softly.

"The one on the left," I whispered back, my voice thick with sleep. He pushed the door open with his foot and walked over to the bed, setting me down carefully.

I tried to wake up more, because I didn't want to waste a moment of time with him. I reached my arms toward him and he came over to me and lay on the bed next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and I cuddled into him.

I peeked up at him from beneath my lashes, wondering what he was thinking. He looked pretty tired himself; it was no wonder, considering the fact that he'd flown here and all. His eyes were drifting closed, but I wasn't ready to go back to sleep yet.

"Bella, unless you want to spend the rest of the night making out like a couple of horny teenagers afraid of second base, you better stop looking at me like that," he said gruffly.

I couldn't help it, I snickered. I definitely _wanted_ to spend the rest of the night making out like horny teenagers. I bet Edward had been hot, even as a teenager.

His eyes popped open in warning and I choked as he flipped me over on to my back, pressing his chest against mine. His mouth swooped down and claimed mine, and the heat was undeniable.

His delicious lips moved over mine as I tried to remember to breathe. I felt consumed with a sense of rightness so profound that I was left shaken. I wrapped my hands around his neck and lost myself in his presence.

Maybe being a horny teenager had more going for it than I remembered.

**A/N: So, you likies? I likies. It's overly romantic but that's the way I always saw Edward in the books, so nyah. Sorry it's kind of short, but a girl's gotta do her homework too. I can't just play with Edward all day, sadly!**


	10. Love and Some Verses

**A/N: I am so in love with all of you for being so awesome! I get so much love from you guys over this story. I seriously can't believe it's already gotten over 200 reviews. I really hope everyone continues to read and love my story as much as I love it. I consider this story my baby. Oh, while I'm here, I might as well mention my other story. Take One For the Team is seriously where I channel all the sexual frustration of this story, haha. If you like sexy times (and DTE, which I know most of you do!), then please check it out to tide you over! Also, I'm starting a new story once I get closer to finishing the two I've already got going. I don't want to overload you with my stuff, haha. That being said, I hope you enjoy this next chapter….**

_Previously: _

"_Bella, unless you want to spend the rest of the night making out like a couple of horny teenagers afraid of second base, you better stop looking at me like that," he said gruffly. _

_I couldn't help it, I snickered. I definitely wanted to spend the rest of the night making out like horny teenagers. I bet Edward had been hot, even as a teenager. _

_His eyes popped open in warning and I choked as he flipped me over on to my back, pressing his chest against mine. His mouth swooped down and claimed mine, and the heat was undeniable. _

_His delicious lips moved over mine as I tried to remember to breathe. I felt consumed with a sense of rightness so profound that I was left shaken. I wrapped my hands around his neck and lost myself in his presence. _

_Maybe being a horny teenager had more going for it than I remembered. _

BPOV

The sunlight was drifting through my blinds, making me groan. My head felt heavy, like it was full of stuffing. I couldn't imagine why I would feel this way, it's not like I had anything to drink last night.

Then I remembered what last night had brought to my doorstep, or rather _who_. I reached my hand out across my bed, blindly searching for Edward. My grasp came up empty, and I began to wonder if maybe I had just dreamt everything that had happened the night before.

I felt panic settle in my chest just as my fingertips brushed something hard and smooth. I raised my head carefully, feeling really tired from staying up all night making out with the most amazing person ever created.

The pillow next to mine had an indentation from his head, but his head was not there. Neither was the rest of him. I felt sadness wash over me, but I noticed he had left something for me on the empty pillow.

I picked up the book, noting that it was raggedy and well loved. There was a bookmark stuck in it, with "read me" written on it in Edward's beautiful script. Beneath the book was a mix CD. A dreamy smile drifted across my face as I hugged both items to my chest. I quickly scanned the list of songs, realizing this was made up of some of the most romantic songs in indie music history. Some of the songs were unfamiliar to me, but for the most part, I knew the songs already. Edward wasn't playing around; he knew _exactly_ what a mix like this would say to me.

I got up and popped the mix into my stereo, pushing play before I settled back onto my bed to read from the book. I smiled as the sound of Sam Beam's gentle voice filled my room with its sweetness.

"_Love and some verses you hear  
say what you can't say  
love to say this in your ear,  
"I'll love you that way"  
from your changing contentments,  
what will you choose for to share?  
someday drawing you different,  
may I be weaved in your hair?"_

I couldn't help but swoon over the promise held in those words. Edward was insanely romantic. I felt my heart splutter in my chest as I opened the book he'd left on my pillow. It was a book of love poems by Pablo Neruda.

My eyes consumed the poem greedily, and I felt my face grow warm, as I had to remind myself to breathe. This was too amazing. I would never have thought Edward already felt this way about me. I finished the poem quickly and started to re-read it once more, this time savoring the elegant words.

"_It's good to feel you close in the night, Love, _

_invisible in your sleep, earnestly nocturnal,_

_while I untangle my confusions_

_like bewildered nets. _

_Absent, your heart sails through dreams, _

_but your body breathes, abandoned like this, _

_searching for me without seeing me, completing my sleep, _

_like a plant that propagates in the dark. _

_When you arise, alive, tomorrow, you'll be someone else:_

_but something is left from the lost frontiers of the night, _

_from that being and nothing where we find ourselves, _

_something that brings us close in the light of life, _

_as if the seal of the darkness_

_branded its secret creatures with a fire."_

The poem fit so perfectly with last night. I felt the electricity zing across my skin as I relived our heated kisses. The feelings were mutual. I could not escape the warmth pooling in my heart; I was already lost to Edward.

I knew without having to check that I wouldn't find Edward somewhere else in the house. My senses were so attuned to his presence by now that I could feel the lack of it. I pushed the disappointment away and tried to focus on the good things. Edward showing up at my door last night was the single most romantic gesture any guy had ever done for me; I would be lying if I didn't say I was insanely glad I'd called him.

I wandered around the house, my hands trailing over each piece of furniture that he had touched. I felt silly, acting as if I were some tragic romantic heroine pining for her true love. I laughed at myself and tried to shake off the feeling of loneliness settling in my chest.

I heard my phone beep from the kitchen, indicating I had a text message. I ran to find it, holding my breath in the hopes that it would be from Edward. I felt a ridiculous grin break over my face as I read what it said:

**From: Edward**

**To: Bella**

**I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye. You were too beautiful and I knew if you were awake, I'd never have the strength to go.**

I hit "reply" and typed my response, my stomach dancing in unbelievable joy.

**From: Bella**

**To: Edward**

**I got your presents, thank you. They are both beautiful.**

His response was quick, and I smiled before responding in kind:

**From: Edward**

**To: Bella**

**I miss you. The tour should be over in a few more weeks, though. Then I won't have to let you out of my arms for months!**

**From: Bella**

**To: Edward**

**I miss you too. I can't wait for you to get home. **

EPOV

I sighed miserably after putting my phone away. I was quickly becoming frustrated with this tour; I just wanted it to be over so I could go home to Bella. I was surprised by how quickly she had become the center of my dreams, when just a handful of months ago this tour had epitomized everything I'd been working for my entire life.

It was hard to ignore the ache in my chest when I thought about where I'd woken up this morning and where I was now. Bella's sleeping form had been wrapped so deliciously around mine, her hair tickling me where it was spread out like a breath across my chest. I had wanted to stay entwined with her that way, forgetting momentarily everything waiting for me back on the east coast.

I ran my hand through my hair, trying to focus on the task at hand. Emmett was talking to the club owner and Jasper and Alice were carrying in some of the equipment. We always tried to convince Alice to hang out with Rosalie at the merch table while we unloaded, but that little spitfire would just roll her eyes and ignore us. She always reminded us that she was a part of the band, too, and so she should be able to pull her own weight.

I joined them and carried in my drum kit, setting it next to the rest of the amps and cords. I loved playing the drums in a hardcore band; it was amazing how much power you could put into a double bass beat when the crowd was worked up and dancing. The feeling of watching our fans shout along with Emmett was a heady experience. I loved everything about playing music… or at least I _had_, until I met Bella and felt like I had tear myself physically away from her.

The local band was doing their sound check when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, hoping it was Bella. I sighed when I saw our manager's name on the screen.

"Hey, Lex," I said.

"Hey, Edward. How goes the tour?" he asked.

"It's going really well, but you already knew that. What's up?" I responded.

"Well, the label called and they're really excited about how well the tour is going. The EP is selling like hotcakes and the fans are screaming for more on the message boards…"

I felt the excitement and satisfaction bubble up inside my chest. "That's great, man," I replied.

Lex finally got down to the business end of the phone call. "They want you guys to record the _Volturi_ album when you get home from this tour, and then they want you guys to go tour over in Europe for a few months."

My good mood came crashing down. I mean, I was excited at the prospect of touring Europe with the band, but how could I leave Bella? She had school and she couldn't just leave her life for months at a time to come on the road with us.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to focus on Lex's words. He'd been sitting on the other end of the line, waiting for my response. I tried to shrug off the black mood and give him the reaction that was expected from this news.

"That's awesome, man. I can't wait to tell everyone else," I replied.

We finished our conversation and I hung up, wondering how long I would actually get to be at home with Bella before I had to turn around and leave again. We weren't "official" or anything like that, but I felt like that was exactly where we were headed; it was only a matter of time.

I sighed, frustrated all over again. If only I could be at home, I was sure things would have already been settled by now. Bella would be my girlfriend and things would be amazing.

I went to find my family to tell them the good news. I knew it would go over really well for them because they all had _their_ significant others on the road with them.

I tried to escape the black cloud hanging over my head, reminding myself that this was an incredible opportunity and I shouldn't mess it up with a bad attitude. So many people would die for the chance to have their band signed and touring Europe. I needed to put these things into perspective.

I found everyone and relayed the conversation with Lex for them. They all seemed genuinely excited, and their celebratory mood was infectious. I felt the weight lifting off my shoulders as we laughed and enjoyed the feeling of creating something that made people want to be a part of it. I was seriously flattered by all the attention our band was getting.

During our set, Emmett announced we would be recording our first full-length album as soon as we were done with this tour, and the crowd went wild. We finished playing our set list and decided to throw in one of the new songs as a bonus. Once again, the crowd went insane and I felt high on the sounds of their shouts and whistles.

After the show, we all walked down to a diner near the club and sat around talking and eating. I wanted to call Bella, but I figured she would probably be asleep already. I knew she had school the next day, and as much as I wanted to talk to her, I didn't want her to lose sleep.

I kept my hand off my phone as long as I could, but as soon as we were settled back into the van and on our way to the next town, I couldn't resist any longer. I pulled it out of my pocket and scrolled down to her name on my list to call her.

The phone rang a few times and I started to hang up when her voice came on the line. "Hello?" she asked, sounding all sleepy and adorable.

"Hey you," I said quietly. Everyone was asleep except Jasper, since he was driving. I was sitting at the very back of the van by myself, so I knew we had a small amount of privacy.

"Edward! I'm so glad you called," she said, sounding a little more awake this time. I felt my face split open in a big grin as I relished the cadence of her voice caressing my ear. I missed her so much.

"I'm glad I did, too. I'm sorry for waking you," I said sincerely.

"Psh, I'd much rather talk to you anyway. Though there is definitely something to be said for the dream I was just having about you...," she said slyly.

"Oh _really_?" I asked, instantly intrigued. I wanted to hear this for sure.

She laughed softly before saying, "Yeah. It was a good one."

"Tell me more!" I demanded playfully. She was teasing me; I knew it and she knew it, too. I would play along, though. I wanted some insight into her fascinating mind.

"Well, we were on this carousel…," she began.

_Random_, I thought. "Go on."

"We were riding the horses and you were getting frustrated because our faces kept going in opposite directions, so you couldn't kiss me. I was teasing you about it, so you grabbed me and pulled me off the carousel while it was still moving. The guy running it was seriously pissed, but you didn't care. You dragged me over to the Ferris wheel…" she trailed off, giggling endearingly. Usually giggling girls annoyed me, but her laugh was so infectious I couldn't help but smile at the sound.

"So we rode the Ferris wheel?" I asked, wondering if this was going where I hoped it was.

"Yeah, even though I'm afraid of heights but I guess I wasn't in the dream. You were all satisfied because we got to sit next to each other and you spent the entire ride kissing me." She sighed dreamily, sounding like she was reminiscing about the dream.

I grinned and encouraged her to continue. "So, the real question is: at what point did I seduce you in the fun house?"

Bella let out a full-bodied laugh and I joined her, still trying to be quiet so I wouldn't wake my siblings. "Well, it was more along the lines of in your bedroom after we came back…" she drifted off, this time sounding a little shy.

I felt myself get hot around the collar as I realized she was serious. She'd been having _that_ kind of dream about me. I cleared my throat and tried to speak a coherent sentence. "So, was I any good?" I joked lamely.

She laughed softly again. "Oh yeah, definitely."

"Well, hopefully when I get home, you can tell me if I live up to this slutty Dream Edward," I joked, feeling my heart race and my blood heat.

"Hey, don't call my Dream Edward a slut! He happened to _very_ romantic, if you must know. I think that maybe I should date him instead. _He _would never leave for a silly tour when he could stay home and make sweet, sweet love to me!" she joked.

Her joke reminded me of the real reason behind my call. I sighed and frowned, not really wanting to tell her about the European tour now that she'd made that joke.

She must have thought I was upset by her joke, because she hurriedly said, "I was just joking, Edward. I think it's awesome that you're on tour and the band is doing so well. I was only teasing…"

I cut her off, feeling bad. "No, no, it's okay Bella. I was just thinking of something else."

"Oh, okay then. Whew. So what were you thinking about, then?" she asked curiously.

"It's nothing; I'll tell you when I see you. In the meantime, I just wanna talk about you. What did you listen to today? What did you learn about in class? What are you wearing right now?" I slipped the last question in slyly.

She squeaked and laughed uproariously before answering, "Your mix CD, the electoral college, and nothing, in that order."

My brain ground to a halt and my pants magically shrank about five sizes. My breath huffed out and I struggled to remember what we were talking about before all the blood pooled in my lap. "Ahhh… so… how about that Electoral College, huh?" I joked half-heartedly.

Bella's sweet laugh rang out over the line once more, and she said, "I'd much rather talk about _you_. What did you listen to today? What city did you play today? Why didn't you jump me when you had the chance?"

I groaned; this woman was trying to kill me for sure. Here I was, trying to be a gentleman and take it slow and she was busy destroying my carefully erected wall of self-control.

_Erected, eh? I know of something else that is "erected,"_ my inner dialogue teased. I shoved that thought away and focused on Bella once more. "I listened to Death Cab's new album, we played in some Podunk town in Kansas, and good lord, did I want to!" I replied.

She sighed and I waited for her to say more. Finally, she said, "I wanted you to, too. I can't wait for you to get home."

My heart spluttered in my chest and my breathing became erratic. I was pretty sure I would need a cold shower as soon as possible. This sexy girl had no idea how much I wanted her.

"Oh, you have _no idea_ how much I wish I could be there with you right now," I finally replied, my voice sounding husky. My pants twitched in agreement.

Bella's breathing began to get slower and deeper, and I realized she must have been falling back asleep. "Bella? " I asked gently. "Are you falling asleep?"

"Mmm, Edward, will you just talk to me a moment longer please? I want your voice to be the last thing I hear before I fall asleep," she said softly.

"Sure, beautiful. What would you like to talk about?" I replied.

"Whatever you'd like," she said.

"Well, let's see. I could quote some of my favorite poetry to you. You could fall asleep out of boredom," I joked.

"That would be amazing," she said, her voice growing fainter.

"Okay, let's see. Here's one from Rilke:

'Again and again, however we know the landscape of love

and the little churchyard there, with its sorrowing names,

and the frighteningly silent abyss into which the others

fall: again and again the two of us walk out together

under the ancient trees, lie down again and again

among the flowers, face to face with the sky.'"

"That's pretty, I don't know if I've read that one before," she said sleepily.

"I read a lot of Rilke's work growing up," I said, feeling slightly corny now. Bella was the kind of girl who deserved to be romanced, and I wanted to be the one to do it. I just couldn't help feeling silly, all the same.

I could hear her breathing even out and I knew she'd finally fallen asleep. "Goodnight, Bella. Sweet dreams," I said softly.

"Mmm 'night, Edward. Miss you," she mumbled before we hung up.

I put my phone back into my pocket and pulled my hood up over my head before settling back into the bench seat. I sighed and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep with Bella's face in my mind.

**A/N: There you go, AlexandraaaCullen! A character named Lex, just for you;) Sorry Lex is a dude, but oh well. I hope you all liked this chapter, and I would really love to hear what you thought! The first poem is by Pablo Neruda, no title, and the second is by Rainer Maria Rilke. Two of my favorite poets in one chapter, wowee! -HIE**


	11. Third Engine

**A/N: Here is the next chapter! I had a really hard time brainstorming what I'd like to happen in this one, so it took awhile. I've already got the last couple chapters figured out, and an epilogue which I think may come after the next two or three chapters. I will be posting a snippet of the story I plan on writing as soon as this one and TOFT are finished, so keep your eyes peeled for that, pretty please!:) **

**WHOOPS! I made a boo-boo in the original Ch. 11 so thank you to **jackiehydelover **for pointing that out. Too embarrassing. Tsk, Becky, Tsk!**

_Previously…_

"_I read a lot of Rilke's work growing up," I said, feeling slightly corny now. Bella was the kind of girl who deserved to be romanced, and I wanted to be the one to do it. I just couldn't help feeling silly, all the same. _

_I could hear her breathing even out and I knew she'd finally fallen asleep. "Goodnight, Bella. Sweet dreams," I said softly. _

"_Mmm 'night, Edward. Miss you," she mumbled before we hung up. _

_I put my phone back into my pocket and pulled my hood up over my head before settling back into the bench seat. I sighed and closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep with Bella's face in my mind. _

EPOV

"So, what you're saying is, Kids Incorporated was better than MMC?" I asked Bella incredulously.

I could hear her laugh ring in my ear through the phone. I sighed. I wanted to hear her laugh in person, but that wouldn't happen for another couple weeks. I was beginning to get seriously impatient to see her and hold her again, and the rest of my family was getting sick of my grumpy mood.

"Definitely. I mean, even though MMC spawned Ryan Gosling, and he is absolutely delicious, it also brought us Britney Spears and J.C. Chasez. I shudder in my music-loving boots when I think about the music that they brought to fame. Anyway, I mean, if we're going to be debating the shows we watched as kids, we can't go without mentioning Boy Meets World or Growing Pains," she said.

"True, I mean, I always wanted to find my Topanga," I joked.

"I had a crush on Shawn. He was such a bad boy!" she laughed again.

I rolled my eyes, wondering what it was about girls and their taste for guys who would inevitably treat them like crap. "Shawn had too many issues, Corey was obviously the much better choice. Very stable, that guy."

She huffed, and we both broke into laughter. "Why do we even care?" she asked, obviously out of breath from the hilarity.

"Got me, I'm just here getting sucked into your world of 90's television. I'm like the innocent bystander, forced to defend my position on Power Rangers versus the V.R. Troopers," I replied.

She groaned. "Oh god, _please_ tell me you didn't watch either of those!"

"Bella, I was a prepubescent boy. Did you really expect me to resist the seductive powers of Amy Jo Johnson as the Pink Ranger?" I joked.

She snorted before saying, "You are ridiculous!"

We teased each other some more after that, but eventually things became quiet and I wondered what she was thinking. "So, how have you been since I saw you last?" I asked, wishing I could ask her in person.

She sighed, and I wished fervently I could read her mind or at least see her face. "I'm okay. School is going well, I've had plenty of time to get into my photography class and the teacher says I'm making progress."

She was quiet for a moment and I was surprised when she blurted, "I miss you so much!"

I couldn't help the tender smile that spread across my face. "I miss you too, Bella. When I get home, I want to talk to you about things…" I trailed off, hearing the sound of a knock on the door in the background.

"Hey, Edward, can you hold on a sec? Someone's at the door. Hey, are you sure it's not _you_ at the door?" she teased.

I groaned, "I wish!"

I could hear her snickering softly as she opened the door. Then I heard her gasp and I was instantly alarmed, wondering why she reacted the way she did. Suddenly, I understood as I heard her muffled voice say, _"Jake, what are you doing here?"_

_Shit!_ My head screamed at me. What did this mean? Were he and Bella going to get back together? Would I be left high and dry? I mean, we weren't exactly "officially together" or anything like that, so Bella was still a free agent. She could be with whomever she chose.

My stomach twisted at the thought. I wanted her so badly that I couldn't help the insane surge of jealousy. This wasn't good. I had to keep a cool head if I didn't want to scare her off.

My face registered shock and dismay as I heard Jake's equally muffled response: _"Hey, Bells. I'm here 'cuz I missed you and your dad said you would be here today."_

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. This was worse than I'd thought. Jake and Bella had been together for years before I walked into the picture; people tended to stay in their comfort zone. Maybe Bella would get back together with him just because he was familiar.

I had to check the urge to growl, I was beyond worried and I wanted nothing more than to break Jake's face. I didn't want him anywhere near her, especially when things were going so well between us. There was so much potential in the connection I felt with Bella; I didn't want Jake to come and fuck that up.

Bella's voice came back on the line, clear as a bell. "Uh, hey Edward? Can I call you back later?"

She sounded uncomfortable. _Great_. Maybe that meant she wanted to get back together with Jacob. Maybe that meant that she'd seen him at the door and suddenly the world seemed right again. For all I knew, the time they'd spent apart could have made their hearts grow fonder. I could be the chump sitting around with his thumb up his ass, waiting for her to call back and break my heart.

I bit off the growl once more, finally saying, "Sure, Bella. That's fine. I guess I'll talk to you later."

We hung up and I felt like I'd just received a round house kick to my stomach. I wanted to punch something, and that surprised me. I'd never felt this way about a girl before; it was almost too much. Too much passion, too much intensity, too much space between us.

I went to find Emmett and Jasper, intending to see if they wanted to go have a liquid lunch. I needed a beer for sure.

BPOV

I stood in the doorway, completely surprised to find Jake looking hopeful and contrite all at the same time. I had a message zooming from my hand to my brain to remind myself that I was still holding my phone, which was still connected to Edward.

I quickly said goodbye to Edward and hung up, not paying much attention. I didn't know why Jake was here, but I was pretty sure he wouldn't keep me in the dark for long.

My eyes were still wide and my mouth was still hanging open, so Jake just brushed past me and settled himself into the couch. I turned to watch him make himself at home, as if his mind and body had never left in the first place. I just shook my head, feeling a confusing mixture of bemusement and annoyance. I'd been having a really good conversation with Edward before Jake showed up.

I crossed the living room cautiously, my eyes never leaving Jake's. Once I was settled, I cleared my throat in an invitation for him to begin explaining himself.

Jake leaned forward, rubbing his hands together nervously before placing them on his knees. Jake was so tall that his knees were almost level with his chest as he sat on the couch. Finally, he began to speak. "Bella, I wanted to come and talk to you because I miss you. We used to be so close, even way back before we dated. I just feel like there's this big missing space in my life ever since we broke up."

I felt his words pierce my chest, and the sadness spread throughout my body. I wasn't in love with Jake anymore, but I _did_ miss his friendship. I longed for the way things used to be, when the space between us was filled with comfort and contentment. I wanted to feel that way with him again, but I didn't know if that would ever happen.

I sighed before answering him, hoping that he wasn't here in an attempt to get back together with me. "Jake, I've missed you too, but I don't know if we can ever be friends again. Things might have just changed too much." I'd put an emphasis on the word _friends_.

He looked slightly crestfallen, and I wondered if he really thought it was going to be that easy. Really, one little speech and he expected me to just fall in line with his wishes; no way was that going to happen!

"Bella, I was hoping maybe we could get back together. You know, remember how great we used to be together? I mean, we were best friends and we got along so well. Besides, all the guys miss you. We all want you to come back," he said.

I frowned, my irritation growing. "Jake, seriously, did you think that I would honestly get back together with you after you cheated on me? Yeah right! Besides, I don't see what _the guys_ have to do with _us_ getting back together," I said angrily.

He looked taken aback, and I felt a small measure of satisfaction. I just did not understand what kind of drugs he was on if he thought I would come back to him after everything. Jeez. Talk about a stupid boy!

He cleared his throat nervously, his hands now running up and down the top of his jean-clad thighs. "Look, I know I hurt you but I want you back…" he began, but I quickly interrupted him.

"Jake, you don't know _what_ you want!" I said loudly.

"Wh…what do you mean, I don't know what I want? I think I would be the one to know what I want!" he replied, beginning to get offended.

"Really? So you want me but yet you sleep with someone else? Well, I didn't want to bring this up, but I guess I'll have to now so that you'll see what a jackass you really are. I loved you in the beginning, but at the end, I wasn't happy anymore. I felt more like a sister than I did a girlfriend, and I just don't think we were right for one another. You sleeping with that Leah chick just made me realize it fully. I want to be friends with you Jake, but nothing more."

As I spoke, I watched all the emotions roll across his handsome face. First, there was incredulousness, followed by hurt, and finally anger with a mix of hopelessness. "Oh," he finally said.

I was starting to feel bad about being so brutally honest, so I tried to change the subject slightly. "Jake, I want to be friends with you. Can you accept that and see how things could be?" I asked hopefully.

He looked sheepish now, and I watched a small smile play across his mouth. "Sure, Bells, I can try to be your friend again," he replied.

I made an impulsive decision then, hoping that it would work out for the best. I watched Jake's body language relax and said, "Good, because I have a show I want to go to tonight in Seattle and I need a friend to go with. Wanna go?"

"Uh, sure, I guess I could do that," he said, sounding surprised.

EPOV

We had just finished our set about thirty minutes ago when my phone rang. I felt the now familiar nerves kick up in my stomach when I recognized Bella's ringtone. I listened to it a couple times before I felt prepared enough to answer.

"_Did you know, my sweet  
That I once took the liberty of watching you in your sleep?  
I rolled over and over  
Trying to touch your knees underneath the sheets…"_

"Edward?" She was practically yelling, and I had to wonder what all the noise was in the background.

"Bella?" I replied.

"Hey, I just wanted to call you back. I'm sorry I had to go earlier, but Jake showed up out of the blue and he wanted to talk to me and we got into it and one thing led to another…"

I cut her off, not wanting to hear anymore. "So did you guys get back together or something?" I asked, trying with all my might to keep the sick sadness out of my voice.

"What? NO! Are you kidding me? Edward, I dumped Jake because I didn't love him. Why would I get back together with him? Jeez. I mean, ever since I met you I knew that what I had with Jake wouldn't last, because I just didn't feel the same way about him once I got to know you."

Wait, what? This was a surprise. A very, very _awesome_ surprise. "Wait, Bella, what are you saying? Are you saying that you liked me before you broke up with Jake?"

The noise in the background got quieter, and she was able to lower her voice. I sighed in relief because my ears couldn't take much more abuse. "Edward, the minute I saw you I knew my life would never be the same. Maybe it's too early for me to say anything, or maybe it's too much for me to say and I'm probably going to scare the shit out of you, but I just knew after I met you that Jake wasn't the one for me. Whether this thing between you and I works out or not, I knew that I felt more for you in my _pinky finger_ than I felt for Jake, at least as far as _those _ feelings go. I mean, after all those dreams, how could I not?"

I was beginning to wonder if I was dreaming, because the real life Bella would never be so honest and bold in her declarations. There was just no way that she could be so adorably endearing and yeah, it was a little scary to be laying things out on the table this early, but who was I kidding? I already knew I wanted to hang on to her for dear life, because she just made sense in my life. I couldn't imagine _not_ having her around.

I guess I'd been silent for too long, because Bella's voice became nervous and shy. "Edward, are you still there? Oh god, I really did scare you off! I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said anything!"

"Bella, Bella! You didn't scare me off, I just dropped the phone because I was too busy doing a really awkward victory dance. I'm pretty sure Emmett and Jasper are on their way over here to drag me to the mental hospital," I said happily.

Her sweet laughter rang out over the line, and I laughed along with her. "Edward, I'm so glad I didn't scare you off. I don't ever admit to things this early on, but I guess it just feels different with you. Something about you just inspires me to be bluntly honest. I'll probably end up saying really stupid shit around you and embarrassing myself," she said.

Now that we'd gotten past the awkward declaration stage, made _especially_ strange because we were in different states, I got down to the matter at hand. "So, about 'all those dreams' you mentioned before…" I said teasingly.

"Oh, shut up! Let's just say I had some pretty _convincing_ dreams about you before I broke up with Jake," she said, sounding embarrassed now.

"Oh, _do tell_," I encouraged.

"Edward, I am so not going to go into that right now. I'm at a show with Jake in Seattle and I didn't even mean to be away this long, but you just suck me in with your charming phone voice!" she exclaimed.

I felt a little burst of jealousy once more, even though she'd already assured me that she didn't love Jake anymore. "That's kind of weird, don't you think? How'd all that happen, anyway?" I asked.

"Well, I told him that I really just wanted to be friends because I feel like I owe it to the friends we used to be before we ruined it with a relationship. I convinced him to come with me tonight so he could see how much better off we are as friends," she replied.

I guess that made sense, but still, she hadn't seen him in forever and now they were hanging out together at a show? I wasn't entirely thrilled about it, but I knew I had to be cool. "So, how's it going then?" I finally asked.

"Well, that's the crazy part. You know how Jake met that other girl on tour? Well, her band is playing the show tonight and we ran into her when we got here. Jake was totally floored, and I could see that there was totally something going on with them. They were both so awkward with each other, but there was definitely some attraction going on. Now Jake is at the bar, acting like a stupid teenage girl who didn't get invited to the prom by her crush. It's sickening and vastly amusing, really," she said, almost gleefully.

I smirked, trying to imagine the bizarre situation Bella had now found herself in. "So, wasn't that kind of weird? I mean, to meet her?" I asked, awkwardly.

"Not at all, surprisingly. If I didn't already know Jake and I weren't meant to be, I would definitely know it now because I didn't feel even an ounce of awkwardness. She's really pretty and nice, and her band totally rocks. I may have to buy some of their music, actually. But I _do_ have to say that it's hilarious to watch Jake squirm, because I think he knows what he wants and she's it, but it doesn't look like she'll be convinced easily," she laughed.

I felt like the weight of the world had dropped off my shoulders, and I couldn't wait to see her again. I wanted to hold the owner of this beautiful laugh in my arms; I wanted to kiss her and watch her face light up with the joy and pleasure I'd seen the last time.

"Well, I guess I'd better get back. Maybe I'll take pity on him and help him get her back, what d'you think?" she asked.

"I think you're probably a much better person than I, Bella. I would just watch his ass flounder. As a matter of fact, I still think he's a complete idiot for messing around on you, even if you don't really care. Any guy given the chance to be with you should be falling to his knees daily to thank his lucky stars for such a generous blessing," I replied honestly.

"Jeez, Edward, you're making it really hard for me to wait for you to get home. I think I could probably die from the torture of waiting if you keep all that sweet talking up," she said, sounding shy.

"Well, it's true. I'm counting the days until I can come and show you just how lucky I feel to be with you," I said, laying it on as thick as I thought I could get away with.

She chuckled softly, and I smiled in response. "Edward, when you get home, we'll _both_ be getting lucky," she said.

_What??!?!?!? Holy blue balls, Batman! _"Bellaaaaaaaa…" I growled.

"K, gotta go, bye Edward! Talk to you soon!" she responded, a little too cheerfully.

_Unbelievable!_ What a tease!

I hung up the phone, a huge smile on my face. It seemed like that was the permanent expression on my face when it came to Bella these days.

"Hey bro, what's got _you_ so happy?" Emmett said loudly, pounding me on the back.

"Urgh, man, can't you ever say anything in an inside voice?" I asked irritably.

Emmett just laughed uproariously, obviously unconcerned with ruining my good mood… for the moment.

**A/N: OOOOH! You know what this means? The next chapter is the one we've ALL been waiting for!;) You'd better stay tuned, 'cuz this next one is gonna be awesome. I'm so stoked to write it, you don't even know! -HIE**


	12. My Lady's House

**A/N: Here we go; I hope it lives up to expectations… **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I just drool over Edward. **

_Previously:_

"_Well, it's true. I'm counting the days until I can come and show you just how lucky I feel to be with you," I said, laying it on as thick as I thought I could get away with. _

_She chuckled softly, and I smiled in response. "Edward, when you get home, we'll both be getting lucky," she said. _

_What??!?!?!? Holy blue balls, Batman! "Bellaaaaaaaa…" I growled. _

"_K, gotta go, bye Edward! Talk to you soon!" she responded, a little too cheerfully. _

_Unbelievable! What a tease! _

BPOV

Edward would be getting home from the tour today, and I was running around my house trying to channel all my nervous energy into cleaning. I had an estimate of when he'd get here, but I didn't know yet if I should meet him at his house or if he'd be coming here. I just wanted to see him so badly, I would have gladly swam across the English Channel.

I was feeling vaguely pathetic about that, so I tried to give myself a stern lecture on not scaring the poor guy off. I decided to sit down with one of my favorite books and hopefully I would lose myself in it until he got home.

_Five minutes later…_

Ugh. This book used to suck me in, so what was the deal? Maybe if I skipped to the good part instead of trying to start from the beginning…

_Three minutes later…_

I'm hopeless. The lead characters are meeting for the first time, and all I can see in my mind is Edward and I. Maybe if I try a different book with characters who don't fall in love… yes, that would be much better.

_One hour later…_

Okay, so maybe _Slaughterhouse_ wasn't the best choice. I mean, now I felt guilty and completely grossed out at the idea of making steak for dinner. I'd gotten it to make a really nice homecoming meal for Edward, but now my stomach just twisted at the idea. I suppose we could always go out to eat…

_Fifteen minutes later…_

I threw down my book in frustration. I was completely and pathetically obsessed with Edward, and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I might as well just give up the pretense of doing other things and spend the rest of the day lying on my bed, daydreaming about him and listening to his mix CDs over and over again.

My heart began pounding in my chest when I heard a knock on the door. I hadn't even heard a car drive up, so I wasn't expecting anybody. I jumped up, combing my fingers through my hair and taking deep breaths. I crossed to the door and peeked through the peephole, and my heart exploded in joy.

I yanked the door open, a huge smile splitting my face. Edward stood before me with disheveled hair and a scruffy jaw. His clothes were wrinkled and he had a bag in his hand. He looked tired and happy and absolutely breathtaking.

I threw my arms wide open and greeted him with all the enthusiasm bursting through my body. "You're here! When did you get here? How was the drive? Did you get dropped off? Where's everyone else? Never mind that, you're here! You're here!" I said breathlessly.

Edward chuckled, his arms coming to wrap around me. He buried his face in my hair and I heard him breathe in deeply. He sighed. "Bella, you will never know how your scent makes me feel. It's like… home. Whenever I smell you, I know I'm home," he said into my neck.

I shivered at his words, feeling the warmth spread through my veins. I pulled back to look up at his face, my eyes lovingly caressing each detail. I couldn't believe he was here with me, his eyes full of the same happiness reflected in my own.

"I feel the same way about you, Edward. Is that crazy?" I asked shyly.

He smiled crookedly, his eyes crinkling at the corners adorably. "It's not crazy, it's amazing. Where's Charlie?" he asked.

I smirked. "Does it matter?" I responded.

I saw Edward's smile shift slightly and he reached down, swinging me up into his arms. I gasped in surprise; nobody had ever picked me up or carried me before. I wrapped my arms around his neck, peppering soft kisses across his face and neck, my hands buried in his messy hair.

Edward carried me up the stairs as if I weighed nothing. I marveled at his strength and grace, almost envious. We crossed the landing and he set me down gently on the floor of my bedroom. I looked around quickly, trying to see if there was anything embarrassing lying about on the floor.

The coast was clear, and I relaxed, my gaze returning to the gorgeous man in front of me. I had to look up quite a bit, because he was so tall compared to my own 5'4". I couldn't stop my hands from reaching up to comb through his soft hair once more.

"Are you tired?" I asked quietly.

He smiled, wrapping his hands into the hair behind my ears. "No, I'm not," he replied, just as quietly.

I swallowed hard. "Do you want to take a shower or anything?"

His smile widened and I saw a look of tenderness cross his face. "If I do, will you come with me? You could wash my back," he said.

I felt the blush climb my cheeks. "O..okay. Yeah, okay. Let me just get you a towel," I stuttered.

I turned to leave the room, but Edward's hand ran down my arm and grabbed my hand, holding it entwined in his as he followed me to the linen closet at the top of the stairs. I grabbed us a couple of clean towels and walked to the bathroom. I was avoiding his eyes, trying to gather myself together internally.

"Are you okay, Bella?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, surprised. Did I look terrified? I realized my nervous excitement was probably translating itself into a look of pure terror on my face, so I tried to relax my facial muscles into a welcoming smile instead.

Finally, I was successful and Edward's stance relaxed in response. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, needing to rise up on my toes to make eye contact with him. "Welcome back, you road warrior, you," I said teasingly.

"It's good to be home," he said simply.

I arched my neck to look up at him and slapped him playfully on the chest. "Why haven't you kissed me yet?" I asked.

His eyes warmed as he stared back down at me, saying, "Oh, I definitely want to but I think we need to clear one little thing up before we get into that."

I pulled back, confused. "What would that be?" I replied.

"This. You and me. Are you sure you're ready? Because I don't want to push you into being my girlfriend if you aren't ready," he said.

I felt relief and joy expand simultaneously in my chest at his sweet words. I laughed at his earnest expression before I said, "You're so silly and sweet. _Of course,_ I'm ready to be with you. If I didn't want to be with you, why would I be so busy trying to get you naked in my shower?"

His face split into a smile and he laughed with me. "I guess not," he said.

I felt something shift in me then, with his warm golden eyes staring down at me. I knew this man was changing my life forever, beginning in this moment. I felt all the love I had locked inside of myself swell up past every single barrier I'd ever built to keep it in. I could no longer defend myself nor deny myself the promise of this chance for everything I'd ever wanted.

My heart beat painfully in my chest, threatening to escape. My body was consumed at once with intense joy and profound bittersweet emotions. I wanted everything Edward could give me; I wanted to wake up beside him every morning and go to sleep curled against him every night. I wanted to have his children grow inside of me and watch them grow. I wanted to die in his arms after a full and happy life.

I wanted Edward and everything that he was and would ever be. Nothing else mattered. I would reach for my heart's desire without fear or hesitation, and if for some reason I was denied, then nobody would be able to say it was because I hadn't given it all I had.

I must have been clutching him tightly because he tried to pull out of my grasp, looking concerned. "Are you sure you're okay, Bella?" he asked once more.

"I'll be right back," I responded before running out of the bathroom, leaving Edward standing there with a look of confusion and hurt on his beautiful face. I went back to my room and quickly scanned my CDs, trying to find something to suit this moment. I found it, threw it in the CD player, cranked the volume and ran back to the bathroom to Edward.

He was sitting on the edge of the tub now, his head in his hands and his back slumped. The music started from the other room and came drifting into the bathroom, and Edward raised his head to look at me. His eyes met mine and I smiled reassuringly as I reached my hand out for him.

Edward stood up, his hand in mine. I bent down and turned on the faucet in the bathtub, starting the shower spray and adjusting the water. I turned back to Edward and kept my eyes on his as I ran my hands up under his shirt, bringing it over his head.

He helped me take his shirt off, and my hands drifted back down over his sculpted muscles. I lowered my eyes to take in the breathtaking sight of Edward's perfect body. He was a perfect landscape of ridges and valleys, smooth and hard all at the same time.

My eyes raised to his once more as my hands dropped to his belt buckle. He smiled that endearingly crooked smile at me an I forged ahead, my hands shaking slightly as I undid his pants and he put his hands over mine so we could push them to the floor together.

My eyes widened in amazement when I took in Edward's impressive length. I hadn't anticipated that he would be so big, but it didn't really matter anyway. I loved him no matter what, and this was just like putting a big red bow on a present that was already totally perfect.

Edward's hand came up under my chin, raising my eyes to his so he could bring his lips to mine softly. This kiss was different from the others; I felt the tenderness and restraint behind it. I knew he must have been feeling the same indefinable energy that I was.

Our warm breath mingled as his hands dropped to my waist, his fingers massaging slow circles on my hipbones. I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss and pressing my still clothed body against his now nude body.

His callused hands pressed deliciously into my skin, inching beneath my shirt and wrapping around my waist. He was going so slowly, but I understood why. I reached down and brought the shirt up, stretching my arms above my head so he could take it off the rest of the way. I wasn't wearing a bra, so I was now just as naked as he was… well, except for my pants.

I felt Edward's molten gaze devouring me like a starving man. I blushed, feeling the heat spread across my chest and up my neck to my face. His eyes held wonder as he stroked across my breasts softly, tentatively.

I was emboldened by his reactions, drinking in every look and touch between us. I pushed my pants off and stepped out of them, ready to take things forward. Edward must have been surprised because his hand flinched when he realized I was now completely naked.

"Bella, I want to take this slowly but I don't know if I'll be able to. I've just wanted you for so long," he whispered into my hair.

"It's okay, Edward. I want you too," I whispered back.

I turned and stepped into the shower, pulling gently on his hand to get him to follow me. Edward stepped into the steamy spray with me and I pushed him under the spray, enjoying the sight of a very naked and wet Edward.

I spent the next ten minutes tending to him with all the love in my heart. I washed his hair, massaging his scalp and enjoying the small groans he elicited. I rubbed him down with soap and worked the knotted muscles in his back and shoulders, leaving no tension behind. I stroked my hands over his body repeatedly, delighting in every texture he had to offer.

Edward's hands were never still, either. He gave me just as much attention by caressing my skin, his fingers drifting over my sensitive nipples as he watched in wonder when they hardened. I watched in amazement as his elegant hands continually ran over my body, looking exactly like they belonged there.

Our kisses became longer and more languorous. His tongue would delve into my mouth, massaging mine deeply as he held me to him under the cooling water. Our wet skin pressed together as we moved together, trying to find a way to get closer together.

Finally, we stepped out of the shower and dried each other off, paying special attention to each and every drop of water. This was by far the most romantic and erotic foreplay in my experience, and I was so ready for him that I wanted him more than I wanted my next breath.

We walked hand in hand to my bedroom, where the music was still playing. The gentle beat brushed over us, the gentle voice of Sam Beam drifting out of the speakers. Edward smiled down at me, approving of my choice. He walked over and switched the song, and the words melted my heart all over again:

"_There is light in my lady's house  
And there's none but some falling rain  
This like a spoken word  
She is more than her thousand names…"_

I watched with big eyes as Edward took me in his arms, swaying with me across my bedroom floor. The movement was smooth and I was grateful that my clumsiness did not interfere with this incredible moment. __

"No hands are half as gentle  
Or firm as they like to be  
Thank God you see me the way you do  
Strange as you are to me…"

His hands brushed over my hair, lifting it and letting it fall back so he could have access to my neck. His soft lips ran over the skin behind my ear, his breath hot as he left a trail of wet kisses in their wake. I shuddered at the wonderful sensations, wishing this moment could last forever. __

"It is good in my lady's house  
And the shape that her body makes  
Love is a fragile word  
In the air on the length we lay…"

My hands moved on their own, coming to rest on the back of his neck. I played with his hair and rolled my hips into his gently. His breath caught in his throat and I smiled, knowing he was close to losing his careful restraint with me. __

"No hands are half as gentle  
Or firm as they like to be  
Thank God you see me the way you do  
Strange as you are to me…"

Edward's mouth came to rest on mine, his lips sliding against mine. I wanted more, so much more. I pulled him with me toward the bed, my eyes holding his golden gaze. He followed me willingly, his cheeks flushed and his eyes narrowed with intensity.

I lay back on the bed, and he came down on top of me. The song ended quietly, but it no longer mattered. We were making our own music now.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him, arching myself into his hard body. Edward's skin was so heated that the scent of soap and spice rushed over me, enveloping my senses and drowning me in desire. I bit my lip and met his eyes, all too aware of the love that he must see hiding there behind my own eyes.

"Bella, you are so beautiful that it almost hurts to look at you," he said gruffly.

I gasped, my heart cracking with the beauty before me. "Edward, you've got it backwards. Every time I see you, I feel like I'm seeing an angel or some Greek god," I said breathlessly.

He chuckled as he said, "I'm no angel, Bella. You could tempt me to sin even on my deathbed."

My eyelids fluttered shut and his mouth on mine again, loving me with his lips and his tongue. I couldn't stop shaking; the profound greatness of finding him and having him in my life was absolutely amazing. I wanted it all with Edward, and I wanted him to be inside of me _now_.

"Edward, could you…?" I began.

I didn't need to finish my question, however, because Edward pushed into me and I felt the stars explode. He fit inside of me perfectly, our bodies joining as if they were made from complimentary moulds. Nothing could ever feel as right as this breath, as this man buried deep inside of me.

He did not move right away, giving me time to adjust to his size. He brushed my hair back from my face, his eyes turbulent but his smile tender. "Dear god, Bella…" he said in a strained voice.

Tears came to my eyes as I said, "It's okay, Edward."

His breath whooshed out and he began to move slowly, taking the time to plunge into me all the way before pulling out almost completely. Each thrust brought me closer to the storm gathering deep inside. I threw my head back, my eyes clenching shut as I lost myself in the awe-inspiring feeling of Edward's body in mine.

Edward's moans were so exciting; his hands firm but still gentle on my hips. I felt the breathy moans issuing from my chest, but I was too lost to say anything more. We moved together in the ancient choreographed dance.

The sensations in me began to swell, the feelings becoming too great to sustain. Our bodies were glued together with sweat, his hands weaved in my hair and mine gripping his hips for dear life. I was prepared for the storm when it came, rushing over me like thunder and pelting rain.

My heart stopped and I couldn't stop the tide of words from my mouth. "Edward! IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou!" I cried.

Edward's orgasm followed close behind mine, his body emptying into mine. The silence around us became thick with our deep satisfaction.

His forehead dropped to mine as he pulled out of my body, lying down beside me on the bed. I pouted for a moment, but he turned me and curled himself around me, his hand trailing across my hair. I felt his lips caressing my ear when he whispered, "I love you too, Bella."

**A/N: Whew! Okay, so that was my first non-raunchy sex scene. I really wanted to make it beautiful and loving and not cheesy, so I hope I succeeded. Did I do okay? Were you cheesed out? I hope not! Edward is so overly romantic in my mind, I wanted to translate that. Anyway******** -HIE**


	13. It's True Love

**A/N: This took soooo long to write! I know, I'm a jerk. I've been swamped with school (finals coming up) and we moved last weekend so my real life is in total upheaval! Sorry, but hopefully you all like this chapter. **

**I've been totally obsessed with manyafandom's "All I Ever Knew" story. You should go check it out. Also, I've been beta'ing for IHateCleanBreak's story "Changing Prejudices," so you should go check that out also. I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah yeah, so I don't own Twilight. Or Edward. Stop rubbing it in, will you??**

_Previously…_

_His forehead dropped to mine as he pulled out of my body, lying down beside me on the bed. I pouted for a moment, but he turned me and curled himself around me, his hand trailing across my hair. I felt his lips caressing my ear when he whispered, "I love you too, Bella." _

EPOV

My eyes roamed over Bella's face, taking in the glowing beauty before me. I felt panic and concern burn in my chest when I realized her eyes were full of tears. I brushed her hair back with a shaking hand, cupping her cheek and bringing my nose to hers.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" I asked quietly.

"Yes. I'm amazing… You're amazing. That was just too…so…I can't even think of words to describe it, and now I'm probably completely scaring the shit out of you by crying right now. I just…I just cccan't help it," she said, her voice shaky and self-conscious.

My chest tightened in response to her honesty. I knew that in my heart, I was experiencing the same rush of emotions. It took everything in me to gather my courage and acknowledge the truth blazing through my conscious mind, as I lay here, replete in her bed.

I knew this woman was exactly the thing I'd been waiting for my entire life. Feeling her skin beneath my fingertips, her breath mingling with mine, her warm eyes full of the happy tears I'd put there made me feel like a god among men; there was no reason to be afraid of this because she was _everything_.

I wrapped my arms around her tightly, my body cupping hers as closely as possible. Bella seemed to relax, and the shaking eventually subsided. The music drifted through the room softly, giving us plenty of encouragement to relax in the aftermath of our intense lovemaking.

As my eyelids got heavier, I remembered the bad news that I would have to impart to Bella. I cringed internally, worried about how she would react. I probably should have told her before all of this had happened, but I couldn't help myself. The moment had been too great and too perfect for stupid little details. I felt secure in my feelings for Bella, but I was a fool if I thought Bella wouldn't be disappointed by my leaving to tour Europe.

It took me a lot longer to fall asleep after that, because I was busy chewing over the situation in my mind. I wanted to think of a reason for Bella to come with us, but she was in school now and I didn't want to pull her away from something that she enjoyed so much, just for my selfish desire to have her near me at all times.

When sleep claimed me, I still hadn't thought up any plausible solutions.

BPOV

I woke up that evening, still wrapped up in Edward's warm body. I snuggled closer, breathing deeply of the delicious scent that was his essence. I couldn't get enough of him, and I was desperately interested in starting another round of lovemaking, but when I took a good look at his face, I could see the lines of fatigue there.

I decided to get up and start dinner so it would be ready when he woke up. I also had some homework to do, because finals were coming up, I wanted to get school over with so I could spend as much time as possible with Edward.

I wondered when he would tell me about the European tour. Alice had already spilled the beans the last time I talked to her, but I had yet to talk to Edward about it. I was really disappointed that I wouldn't get a lot of time with him before they had to leave again, but I understood. This was Edward's dream, and I wanted it for him.

Of course, I was a little bit heartbroken that I couldn't go with him. I wanted to see Europe and I knew they would be a big hit there. I wanted to share in his successes and joys. His dream had become my dream, and I wanted to see it come together for him.

I figured we would probably broach the subject when he woke up, so I killed time by marinating the steaks and preparing the salad. I had the table set and the potatoes in the oven while I worked on dessert, all in fewer than twenty minutes.

I settled into the kitchen table with my books and spent the next hour studying for my final in English. I felt confident that I would get a good grade, but that didn't mean I couldn't aim to do my very best.

Once the food was done cooking, I put everything on a tray and brought it up to my bedroom where Edward was still fast asleep. I set the tray beside the bed, careful to be as quiet as possible so I wouldn't wake him up.

My efforts were in vain, however, because Edward's eyes fluttered open and his powerful gaze focused on me immediately. I watched as a warm and sleepy smile drifted across his beautiful face, and I couldn't help the urge to reach over and comb my fingers through his thick, messy bed hair.

"Mmm, the best part of waking up…" he said in a raspy voice, still heavy with sleep.

"…is Edward in my bed," I teased.

Edward chuckled and grabbed my hips, pulling me over him and making me squeal as he nuzzled my neck with his whiskered jaw. I writhed around, trying to escape the torturous tickling, but eventually gave up because Edward was much stronger.

I decided some payback was in order, and I intentionally squirmed lower so I was sitting astride Edward's hips. I saw his eyes darken as my movements caused a reaction. I smirked playfully and continued to gyrate my hips, enjoying the sudden intensity of his mood.

The air surrounding us became thick with sexual tension as the playful mood dissipated, becoming something so much more. The passion from this morning rose in my chest once more, my eyes boring into his as I leaned closer to brush my lips against his.

Edward's arms banded around me, bringing me firmly against him as his mouth claimed mine in the hottest kiss we'd ever shared. My breasts were aching with arousal, pressed against his firm chest. I brought my hands up to either side of his face and stroked his five o'clock shadow, reveling in the coarse sensation against my skin.

Edward moaned into my mouth as my hips continued to swivel in tiny circles, bringing my wet core against his hardening length through the blankets. I broke the kiss and pulled back, sitting up straight to rip my shirt off. Edward's growl was so unbelievably sexy as his body jacked up into a sitting position.

His mouth crashed against mine and my hands roamed over his naked chest hungrily, trying to stroke every bit of muscle I could possibly reach. Edward's arms came around my waist and then we were turning and I was on my back with his beautiful face hovering above me.

"Bella, my beautiful, sexy, hot, intelligent, amazing, funny Bella. _Please_ let me have you," Edward rasped out.

My brain melted, just like that. "_Yes_," I sighed.

With that, Edward's hands made quick work of the rest of my clothes and soon we were wrapped around each other just as before. The tone this time was more fervent, needier, as if we could not wait a moment more to be joined together.

I allowed my mind to float away and let my heart and body take over, just letting the sensations break over me like waves. Edward's body was playing mine perfectly as he entered me, his erection pressing deep within my body. I lifted my hips to bring us closer; my eyes clenched shut in concentration.

I began to perspire and I felt the sweat from Edward's body gluing us together in the best possible way. I forgot to breathe as he moved within me, bringing wave after wave of pleasure to us both. I could hear Edward's moans reverberating off the walls, and my cries seemed to echo his.

Finally, I felt my release wash over me and I clenched my thighs around his waist, my body milking his as I screamed his name. The sensations were too much, and Edward's orgasm swiftly followed mine, his seed spilling deep inside me.

We lay there together for a few moments, basking in the comfort of our embrace until I heard a low rumble from Edward's stomach.

"Hungry, are we?" I teased. Edward just grinned and reached for the tray of forgotten food, which was probably cold by now.

"Do you want me to heat that up for you?" I asked.

"No, it's okay, I'll do it," he said. I watched with a big grin as he stood up to put some clothes on. I bit my lip when he bent over to put his pants on with his magnificently naked sexy ass facing me.

"Now there's a sight for sore eyes," I said cheekily.

He spun around, laughing. "Hey, you better get a peek now because I'm pretty sure Alice won't leave us alone for the next _week_," he said.

He quickly buttoned up his pants, forgoing the shirt as he picked up the plate of cold food and headed down the stairs. I relaxed back onto the bed and brought the sheet up to cover myself. Now that Edward wasn't in the room, the temperature must have dropped about a million degrees.

My mind was wandering while I listened to the sounds of Edward moving around the kitchen downstairs. I was lost in a happy little daydream about our future when I heard the front door open and slam shut. I bolted upright in bed, panic freezing the blood in my veins when I realized the only person who could have just walked through the door.

"Bella!" I heard an angry and somewhat confused Charlie yelling up the stairs.

I scrambled around my room, hastily picking up my discarded clothes and trying to make myself look presentable. I panicked when I could not find my bra, and it took me a good five minutes searching for it under the bed on my hands and knees. After I found it, I realized I could have just gotten another one from my dresser. _Duh_, Bella!

I was flying down the stairs, my haste too great for a careful descent. I could hear Charlie's quietly angry voice and Edward's smoother consoling tone coming from the direction of the kitchen. I was hurdling downward when my foot caught on the next to last step, of course. I was airborne before I knew it, my body crashing into the wall at the bottom of the stairs.

Edward and Charlie were beside me in a moment, and I could feel Edward's hands carefully untangling my limbs so he could see if I was hurt. I could hear Charlie demanding Edward to unhand me so he could see for himself if I was okay, but Edward picked me up and cradled me in his arms, completely ignoring him.

"She's okay," he finally told Charlie, who looked completely stricken.

"I'm right here, guys. Why don't you just ask _me_ if I'm okay?" I said, disgruntled and embarrassed.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward asked consolingly.

"Yes. Just really embarrassed," I grumbled.

Both Edward and Charlie grinned at that, and I knew then that they could hopefully be friends someday because there was no way I'd ever let go of Edward.

He sat me down on the couch carefully, and I settled into the plush cushions. I gestured for Edward to sit next to me, and Charlie took the seat across from the TV. "So, hey Dad. This is Edward. I'm not sure you've officially met before," I said nervously.

"He already introduced himself…" Charlie said, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

Edward cleared his throat and a look passed between them, while I was left completely in the dark.

"What was _that_ all about?" I asked, peeved.

"I'll tell you later," Edward said softly for my ears only. I just nodded, knowing I wouldn't let him rest until I heard whatever it was.

Charlie shifted around some more, and I took pity on him and handed him the remote. He took it gratefully and tuned the TV to Sports Center so he could watch the game. I took Edward's hand and led him back up the stairs so he could finish getting dressed.

We didn't say a word until we were out of the house, driving away. Finally, I said, "Did you _see_ his face? I thought he was going to kill you," I laughed.

My giggles took on a life of their own and I could not stem them. Edward just smiled, but his eyes still held the terror of meeting my father for the first time only half-clothed. I wondered once again what they had talked about before I'd come tumbling down the stairs.

Once we were closer to downtown Forks, Edward pulled into an empty parking lot and turned to face me with a serious expression on his face. "Bella, I need to tell you something and you may not be very happy about it," he began.

I gulped, feeling nervous. Maybe meeting Charlie had scared Edward away. Maybe I'd scared him away with the intensity of my feelings. I tried to hold back the panic I felt, but I was afraid this could be my worst nightmare.

What if, after all I'd realized about my feelings for Edward and my hopes for our future together, he didn't feel the same? What if this was the moment my heart would be broken forever?


	14. Holding onto You

BPOV

I knew I was being silly, but I couldn't stop my heart from trying to pound out of my chest. Edward's face looked grim, and I worried that he was about to break up with me so he could go to Europe unhindered by a girlfriend.

"What is it?" I asked, my heart in my throat.

"Well, the tour went really well and Lex told us that we'll be going on another tour as soon as _Volturi_ is released..." he began nervously.

I felt the sudden relief wash over me. Of _course _he was worried about telling me about the Europe tour! I wanted to slap myself for being such an oblivious idiot. My old self esteem issues were making a guest appearance, and I wanted to tell them to shut the hell up.

"Bella, are you listening?" Edward's concerned voice broke through my distracted thoughts.

"Oh, yeah. Edward, I have to tell you that Alice already broke the news you guys are going to Europe," I said, eying him to gauge his reaction.

He looked confused and a little bit upset, but he finally said, "Well, I wish she'd left it to me to tell you but I guess that doesn't matter now. Aren't you upset?"

I looked down at my hands twisted together in my lap, and I let go so I could reach over and take his hand in mine. "Am I upset? No...not really. I mean, yes, I am disappointed you're going to Europe for a long time and I won't get more time here with you, but this is your dream. I'm just trying to focus on that part of it. You deserve this, you all do. I want you to know how happy I am for you, Edward," I said earnestly.

"I want you to come with me." Edward's face was serious, his golden eyes looking pained.

I gasped, my eyes wide on his as he looked back at me. "Are you serious?" I said.

"Absolutely. I told myself I wouldn't ask you to leave your life here for this tour, but apparently I can't help myself. I need you to be with me, Bella. I need you by my side. I just don't think I could handle being away from you for months again, especially so far away," he said quietly.

"Oh, Edward," I said, tears building in my eyes.

"You don't have to, Bella. I promise I would understand. You've only been back for a few months and school is going really well, and I'm sure Charlie really loves having you at home too," he said.

"Charlie has his own life now, and school is great but it's not enough to keep me away from you, Edward. Besides, I can take classes online. I don't want to be separated from you, either," I replied, the excitement building in my heart.

Edward's face broke into a huge, beautiful smile full of relief and joy. I couldn't help but reach over and brush my fingertips across his lips, smiling in return. "When do we leave?" I asked.

EPOV

I was driving home after dropping Bella off back at Charlie's house. I was practically bursting at the seams with the excitement and relief pouring through me. Bella was going to come to Europe with me, and I was suddenly looking forward to this tour a lot more.

I made a mental list of all the things we'd need to get for Bella before we left, including a passport and a laptop that she could use for homework while she was in Europe. My hands gripped the steering wheel as I thought of the places we could visit together. My family had been to Europe multiple times before, but I knew this would be Bella's first time. I wanted her to see everything and experience all the beauty and history there.

I turned my iPOD on, attaching it to the car so the music could pour through the speakers. I smiled at the music, imagining Bella and I together.

"_if only they could see, if only they had been here  
they would understand, how someone could have chosen  
to go the length I've gone, to spend just one day riding  
holding on to you, I never thought it would be this clear..."_

I thought back to earlier tonight, when Charlie came home. What followed turned into an extremely awkward conversation, on both our parts. I wasn't sure if Charlie trusted me anymore now than he did when I was just some half-naked guy in his house with his daughter, but I certainly hoped he would learn to before I stole Bella away for the tour.

_The door slammed shut, and I turned in shock. Bella's dad, Charlie, stood in the doorway looking just as confused and shocked as I'm sure I did. Here I was, standing in his kitchen with nothing but my pants on, and they weren't even buttoned up completely. _

_My hands jerked away from the microwave when it beeped to signal it was done warming up the dinner Bella had cooked. The sound broke the frozen moment, and Charlie's face turned into a mask of embarrassment and anger. I watched in fascinated horror as the blood climbed his neck and up his face until his entire head was beet red. _

"_Who the hell are you?" he said, his voice sounding rough. _

"_Uh, I'm Edward. Edward Cullen. We haven't met, but I'm kind of dating Bella..." I said nervously. Meeting the dad while I had obviously just been in a less-than-pure situation with his daughter wasn't pretty. _

"_What is 'kind of dating'?" he asked furiously. _

"_Well, what I meant to say was, I'm her, uh, boyfriend," I clarified. _

"_Well why haven't I met you? And what the hell are you doing in my house half-naked?" he growled. _

"_I'm... I'm..." I stuttered, so completely unsure of how to answer that question. _

"_I'm waiting!" he barked. _

"_I'm going to marry your daughter, sir," I blurted. SHIT! Did I really just say that out loud? I wanted to kick myself for being such a fucking idiot. _

"_EXCUSE ME?!?!" he yelled now. "BELLA!" _

_I stepped toward him, my hands outstretched as I begged him to listen. "Wait, it's not like that. I haven't asked her yet or anything, and she probably wouldn't even say yes at this point anyway, but I have every intention of marrying her... shit," I babbled. _

"_Well, are you or aren't you going to marry my daughter?" he demanded. _

"_I want to. I love her with all my heart, sir," I said now, choking on my nerves. _

_Charlie's blood had receded slightly, and he was looking slightly pale now. I could see him eying me with a mixture of consideration and disgust on his face. "And what makes you think you'll be good enough for my little girl?" he asked. _

"_Uh,um... well, I don't know. Honestly, sir, I don't think I'm good enough for her but she seems to think I am, so as long as she wants me then I'll be here," I answered honestly. _

_He nodded, and I released my pent-up breath. Apparently I'd said the right thing to diffuse the situation, which was a good thing because I could hear Bella trying to throw herself down the stairs. I looked at Charlie with a pleading expression on my face and whispered, "Please don't say anything about this... I haven't told her I want to marry her yet." _

_Charlie nodded again reluctantly, and I turned back to wait for Bella to reach the bottom of the steps. _

I shook my head out of the memory and focused on driving. I can't believe I'd told Charlie of my intentions before I'd even told Bella, but I guess that's what I did. I had no idea what I would tell Bella if she asked me about it, but I hoped Charlie would keep my secret for me.

I reached my house and went inside, hoping to avoid Alice for the moment. I needed to think and plan and plot my strategy. Naturally, Charlie would be waiting and watching, just waiting for me to propose to Bella. I wasn't sure how much time I would have until he came knocking my door down, so I figured I should probably figure my shit out soon.

BPOV

After Edward dropped me off, I ran inside and upstairs to my bedroom so I could squeal and bounce around like a fangirl. I was too excited to relax, so I decided to go online and research all the places I wanted to see while I was in Europe. If I knew Edward, he would want to take me to as many places as possible while we were there.

I requested information on getting my passport and looked at the course catalog for my school so I could plan my schedule completely online for the next quarter. I had so much fun choosing my classes that I lost track of time. My phone rang, breaking me out of my reverie and reminding me that I should have called Alice to tell her I was coming to Europe with her.

"Hey!" I said happily.

"Hey, yourself. Did Edward tell you about Europe? Are you coming with us? What's the news?" Alice asked, barely pausing to breathe.

"Yes, I'm going with you guys. I can't wait!" I said breathlessly.

"Yay! I knew he'd get you to come! I'm so excited, Bella! We'll have so much fun, and think of all the shopping!" she squealed.

I was looking forward to this too much to actually groan at the idea of Alice dragging me around to shop, so I let her fantasy pass in peace. I didn't want to rain on her parade, after all.

We talked for a few more minutes about all the things we wanted to do when we got there. Alice got off the phone when she heard Edward come home, saying she was going to pump him for information. I just laughed and let her go, eager to get back to planning my class schedule.

I woke up the next morning, feeling refreshed and relieved. Edward was home, school was almost over, and I would be going to Europe soon. Life was definitely looking up.

I showered and dressed quickly, eager to begin the day so I could see Edward as soon as possible. I skipped down the stairs, careful not to have a repeat of last night's tumble. When I reached the bottom, I sauntered into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl for cereal.

Charlie was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and the newspaper, already dressed in his uniform. I went and sat down next to him, giving him a big smile and waiting for him to speak. I wasn't prepared, however, for the concerned scowl that crossed his features when he finally looked up at me.

"Bella, I want to talk to you about this Edward guy," he said.

_Great_, I thought. All I needed to ruin my good mood was a big lecture from Charlie.

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, everyone. I'm just trying to get through finals week so I can really finish these stories with a bang. I just didn't want to leave you all hanging. Jeez, that didn't sound cocky at all. "Hey guys, I know how much you hang on my every word, so let me just throw you a bone out of pity so you can find something in your lives worth living for!" I'm an asshat. Okay, really though, I didn't want to be rude and leave the story hanging forever, so I figured I'd give it at least a small update. Sigh. I hope you liked how it's going. The music for each chapter is up on my profile, so please check it for the information on the song in this chapter. Thanks for reading you guys, your reviews mean so much to me! Seriously. -HIE**


	15. Stay Gold, Ponyboy

**A/N: Well, my Christmas totally sucked. Hopefully yours was much better. **

**That being said, please accept my belated Christmas gift to you and yours: this new chapter. Yeah. I know, I shouldn't have. I'm too generous, it's too much. But I can take it back cuz I tossed the receipt, so just enjoy it. **

**Hey, on another note... allow me to pimp my new story, Delusions of Grandeur. It features a militant Bella and an uptight Edward. What could _possibly _happen? (I'll give you a hint: hot hate sex! Shhh!)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. Just the dream of Edward Cullen being all up in my room, delicious-like. **

BPOV

"Bella, I just want to be sure you're thinking about your future," Charlie began in a grim tone.

"Charlie..." I said in a warning tone.

"You're really young, Bells. You've got your whole future ahead of you. This Edward guy looks like trouble to me," he said over me.

I sighed. "Dad! I am a grown-up, and I know exactly what I'm doing with my life. And Edward is _not_ trouble. He's great, he's fantastic, he's completely wonderful. What's your deal, anyway?"

"Bella, you're in your early twenties. You were with Jake for a few years, and now you're suddenly with this new guy. I just think you should take things slowly. You've got so much potential," he said in a cajoling tone.

"Dad, Jake and I are friends now. We're not going to get back together. I'm with Edward now, and we're in a really good place. I'm in love with him, and if he wants to..." I cut off when my cell phone rang shrilly from my front pocket.

I shot an apologetic glance at Charlie and pulled my phone out to look at the display. I wondered why Seth was calling me.

"Seth? What's going on?" I said when I answered.

"Bella! Oh my god, Bella! You have to come, it's Jake..." he was talking so fast that I had a hard time understanding what he was saying. All I could understand were the words 'Jake' and 'accident' and 'hospital.'

"Seth! Seth! Calm down! What happened?" I yelled into the phone.

"We were driving to our next show in Baltimore and we got in a car accident. Jake was driving and he was injured. He's in the hospital!" Seth explained in a shaky voice, obviously terrified for Jake.

"Oh my god. Is he going to be okay?" I asked, panic inching into my own voice.

"The doctors haven't told us what's wrong yet. All we know is that he's listed in critical condition. We tried to reach Billy, but we can't. Will you come? Can you come?" Seth pleaded with me.

"I... don't know, Seth... I'm kind of in the middle of stuff here and there's a lot going on," I said, feeling horrible.

"Please, Bella. The label is making us leave because we can't afford to cancel anymore shows. We already canceled the one tonight and they said if he's not better by the weekend we'll have to leave him here...I know Billy can't afford to come out here. Will you come? Please? _Please_, Bella?" Seth begged.

I sighed and wondered how my savings would stretch to get me on a sudden flight to the east coast. I had no idea how I was going to make this happen. I couldn't just desert Jake; he was my friend.

I glanced at Charlie, and his face was crumpled in an expression of fear and confusion. I needed to tell him what was going on. I told Seth I would call him back in a moment and turned back to my father.

"Jake was driving the van. They got into an accident and now he's in critical condition at a hospital in Baltimore. Seth said the label is making them leave if Jake isn't out of the hospital by this weekend, and he can't get a hold of Billy..." I heard my voice quaver as the worry climbed my chest, making me choke with my fear for Jake.

Just because we weren't in love anymore didn't mean I didn't still love him. I was terrified at the idea of Jake being hurt in a hospital on the other side of the country. I ran to the house phone and threw it to Charlie, who was still sitting in his chair with a stunned expression on his face.

He snapped out of it as soon as the phone plopped on his plate. He grabbed it and dialed Billy's number with a shaking hand. The atmosphere in the kitchen was rife with tension. I could hear the ringing on the other end of the line in the thick silence. Billy's machine picked up and Charlie left a brief message.

"What are we gonna do?" I asked him helplessly.

"I think he was going to the pub on the reservation today to watch the game. Maybe I can reach him there," he said as he grabbed the phone book. I dropped into the chair and waited while he thumbed through the pages until he found the number.

Our eyes locked while it rang, waiting for someone to pick up on the other end. A voice finally answered, and Charlie asked if Billy Black was still in the bar. He breathed a sigh of relief and my shoulders dropped from around my ears as the phone was passed off to Billy.

Charlie's grim face became even grimmer as he told his best friend the news. Billy's voice was loud over the phone as he began to panic like the rest of us. I felt tears roll silently down my cheeks as Charlie got off the phone and grabbed his jacket.

"I'm going to go meet him at the bar so we can figure out what to do," Charlie told me.

"I'm coming, too," I replied, hurriedly grabbing my shoes and coat. We were out the door in a couple minutes, and we were on our way.

My tense shoulders jerked when my phone rang again, and I saw that it was Edward this time. I felt the panic recede a bit when I heard his melodic voice come over the line. "Bella? What's wrong?" he asked.

"It's Jake... he's in the hospital in Baltimore and he's in critical condition. Seth called me... he wants me to go to Baltimore," I said in a shaky voice.

There was silence on the other end of the line, and I wondered if Edward was hurt or something. "Edward?" I asked.

"I'm here. You said you need to go to Baltimore? Which hospital is he at?" he asked rapidly.

"Uh.. uh... yeah, Seth said they have to leave Jake there, and I don't know if Billy can afford to go. I can't either, but I'm healthier than Billy and I think Jake would appreciate the help..." I said.

"Which hospital is he at?" Edward asked again.

"I'm... I think Seth said he was at the Maryland General Hospital," I replied.

"Okay. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to call Carlisle and see if he has any contacts at MGH. If he does, he can probably pull a few strings to get some more information on Jacob's condition. You will sit tight and try to calm down. Look up some flights and see when you can get out. I'll call you back in a few minutes, okay?" Edward said, his tone soothing and firm at the same time.

"Are you serious? Okay, okay...thank god, thank you, Edward!" I breathed, my heart clenching in my chest.

"Bella, it's no problem. Really. Please just try to calm down and I'll talk to you soon," he replied.

We said goodbye and I hung up, looking over at Charlie. "Edward's going to see if his father can get any more information on Jake's condition," I said.

Charlie looked surprised. "How can he do that?" he asked.

"Carlisle is a doctor, and he has a lot of friends and associates. If anyone he knows works in Baltimore, Carlisle may be able to find out what's going on with Jake," I replied.

Charlie looked grudgingly impressed, and I smiled a little behind my hand. "Edward's not such a bad guy after all, wouldn't you say?" I teased.

"We'll see," he said in a gruff tone.

We got to La Push and Charlie pulled up in front of the pub. We climbed out of the cruiser and walked into the dark interior. There was the smell of stale smoke and beer pervading the air. We spotted Billy at the bar, a couple of his friends surrounding him.

His worried eyes turned to the door as we walked in. Charlie rushed to his side and gave him an awkward one-armed hug. I hung back by the door, feeling worried and uncomfortable. Billy beckoned me over and I went reluctantly.

"Isabella, please tell me what Seth told you," he said roughly.

I told him everything Seth had said, and when I was done I decided to step outside and call Seth back. He was grateful to hear that we were able to get to Billy and tell him the news. I spoke to Quil and Embry and I told them what Edward was trying to do.

I went and waited in the cruiser until Charlie rolled Billy out in his wheelchair. We went back to Billy's house and I got on the internet to look up plane tickets. The prices were steep for such short notice, and I winced when I checked the balance of my savings account. I'd be wiping out over half of my savings if I were to buy something so expensive.

I grabbed my phone when it rang again. "Hello?"

"Hey, honey. Carlisle works fast. Apparently, Jake is in an artificially induced coma. He's got several broken ribs, and both of his legs are broken. He suffered a blow to his head, but they won't know if he's got any brain injuries until he wakes up," Edward said in a low tone.

"He's in a _coma_? Oh my god. Wait, why did they _put_ him into coma?" I asked, my voice strained.

"Due to the extent of his injuries, they thought it would be best to put him under so he could heal a bit so he's not in so much pain," Edward replied.

"Wow. I need to go. I need to be there. I don't know if Billy can make it, and he's not exactly healthy..." I trailed off. Here I was, talking to my boyfriend about flying across the country to go sit at the bedside of my ex-boyfriend.

"Edward? Is this weird for you?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, kinda. But I'll get over it. Jake's still your friend and he needs you. We're on the eight o'clock flight leaving tonight," he replied.

I choked, my jaw dropping open in shock. "What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Jake needs you, but you can't go there all by yourself. You'll need some support. I'm coming with you. We already have tickets, so you there's no getting away from me now/ Oh, and I also reserved an open ticket for Billy in case he's fit enough to fly out," he said.

"Edward... that's too much. You didn't have to do that," I said in a small voice. Part of me was feeling guilty for him spending so much money and offering to drop everything in order to support me, but I couldn't help the overwhelming relief that won out.

"I'll be there in about twenty minutes. We'll have to leave soon if we're going to make it on time," he said in a no-nonsense tone.

"Edward?" I said.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

I hung up and rushed into the kitchen where Billy and Charlie were sitting, slumped at the kitchen table in front of a couple beers. I sat down and told Billy what Carlisle and Edward found out about Jake's condition, and he gripped Charlie's hand as he let out a few tears.

I looked away, uncomfortable with this brave and strong man breaking down in front of me. I told him that Edward had a reservation for him through the airline, and that he would be leaving with me tonight.

Charlie didn't look very happy about it, but he didn't say anything. Billy just looked stunned; I knew exactly how he felt.

"Dad? I have to go back to the house and get packed. Edward's going to be there soon," I said.

He nodded and let go of Billy. We drove back to the house and I started throwing things into a bag willy-nilly. I was just finishing up when Edward knocked on my bedroom door.

"Bella? Are you ready to go?" he asked, his face concerned.

"I...yes. Let's go," I said quickly. Edward nodded and grabbed my bag off the bed.

We hurried down the stairs and I shoved my hand into Edward's. I needed his strength right now. Charlie was already driving back to Billy's so he could be there for him.

We drove to the airport, neither of us speaking a word. Edward's hand rested on mine, imparting a sense of serenity and comfort throughout my body.

The airport was hectic, but we made it through security and to the gate with little trouble. I breathed a sigh of relief and dropped into a chair. We waited for the call to board in tense silence. Edward kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Are you okay, honey?" he asked.

"I'll be okay once Jake wakes up," I replied tiredly.

"We'll be there soon," he said quietly.

I nodded and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to his warmth. I let my head fall onto his shoulder. He stroked my hair and I let my eyes close, relaxing into his touch.

"This is the call for all first class passengers flying Delta flight 862 to Baltimore, Maryland. Please make your way to the front," came the voice over the speaker.

Edward moved to stand up and I looked at him, confused. "That's us," he said.

**A/N: Soooooo... yeah. D'you hate me now? I bet you thought they were goin' to Europe in this chapter, eh?**


	16. Skinny Love

**A/N: Did I throw you for a loop? I hope so. Holy plot device, Batman!**

**Hah. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Though I really think that Edward Cullen should have been in my stocking this year...**

BPOV

My hands shook as I stood in the waiting room of Maryland General Hospital with Edward at my side. We were waiting for the nurse to come back and escort us to Jacob's room. The other guys weren't here; they'd left to get some food and rest. I couldn't blame them, because I knew that they hadn't left his side since the accident happened.

Seth was the only one who hadn't suffered any injuries from the crash. Quil and Embry both had some nasty cuts and bruises, but that was the extent of their injuries. Jake had been the only one in front of the van, which was lucky because the front passenger side looked like a massive wrinkle, according to Seth.

I shuddered to think of losing any of my guys. I'd been on the road with Wolf Runner for years, and before that, I practically grew up with them.

I felt tears well in my eyes as I stood there looking around the plain waiting room. It was empty except for Edward and myself. The walls were a dull robin's egg blue color, no doubt meant to soothe worried families. There were generic pieces of art along the walls; things like nesting birds and serene landscapes.

I hated this room with a passion.

Edward grabbed my hand tightly in his, and that's when I saw the nurse returning. She looked tired, worn. Her scrubs were greyish blue and wrinkled. Her hair was pinned up on her head, but pieces were falling down around her ears. Her shoes squeaked as she crossed the linoleum floor to reach us.

"Ms. Swan? You may go in now, but you may be asked to leave because they're going to wake him up from his coma today," the nurse said.

My gaze flicked to her identification strung around her neck on a festive beaded chain. "Thank you, Nurse Gaynor," I said wearily.

I turned to Edward and squeezed his hand, knowing he couldn't possibly want to come with me. It was awkward enough for him to be here, in Maryland with his girlfriend while she freaked out over her ex-boyfriend. My shoulders tensed as I looked up at him.

Edward just squeezed my hand in return and leaned down to kiss me gently on the cheek. "You'll be okay. You're strong. Go. Jake needs you," he whispered.

"Edward, you are... you are amazing. Thank you for coming here with me. I owe you so much," I said in return.

"Just take care of your friend, Bella. I'll wait here, okay?" he said.

I nodded and took a deep breath, releasing his hand and walking deliberately toward the room I knew Jacob was in. This was terrifying on many levels, but I braced myself and opened the door slowly, not sure what to expect.

Jake was lying on the hospital bed, surrounded by machines. I gasped when I saw his face; it was swollen and covered in bruises. There was a white bandage wrapped around his head, and both of his legs were in those slings that hang down from the ceiling. I knew he had some broken ribs, but the gown covered him from neck to knees, so who knew how horrible his torso probably looked.

I shivered in the cold room, overwhelmed by the horrible smell of the hospital. That smell never failed to give me a headache, bringing me back to my younger days.

I'd been extremely clumsy and accident-prone while growing up. I was a frequent flyer at the hospital ER in Forks, and my parents had our family doctor on speed dial. Luckily, as I'd grown out of my awkward teenage years, I'd also grown out of my clumsiness.

I was by no means graceful now, but it had been a few years since I'd had an accident that required any hospitalization. I was relieved to realize that hopefully, I would be successful in avoiding this horrible hospital smell.

My thoughts snapped back to Jake, and I walked over to the chair beside his bed. I sat and reached for his hand, holding it gently in my own. My skin was cold and clammy, while his was warm and dry. He had a series of scrapes and bruises across his hands and arms, and I ran my finger across them gently.

"Jake? It's me... Bella. Seth called me and told me about the car accident. Your dad will be here soon and I'll be here for a while if you need me," I said in a whisper.

Who knew if he could hear me, but I figured all those people on Lifetime movies talked to the coma patients, so I figured it couldn't hurt.

"I got here last night. Edward came with me. He's in the waiting room right now," I went on.

Suddenly, I felt awkward as I wondered if maybe I shouldn't be telling him about Edward right now. What if it pissed him off or something?

I sat in silence for a time, racking my brain for topics. I decided maybe I should keep it light for now. Who knew what Jake could feel or understand, but I wanted to do my best to keep him in high spirits.

"I don't know any good knock-knock jokes. How about I tell you a funny story about Alice? The other day, she dragged me to the mall so she could heap a bunch of unwanted clothes on me. We were in this really snooty shop and Alice was talking loudly, like she always does. She was making dirty jokes and disturbing the other shoppers.

So the sales lady came over, and she was super bitchy. She was so judgmental. I was trying to hide my laugh, but we both lost it when the lady's pocket started ringing. The song was 'Fuck Her Gently' by Tenacious D. She looked like she was gonna have an aneurysm!"

I paused for a moment, laughing quietly as I remembered the look on the woman's face. Alice's reaction was even funnier, however.

"So you know what Alice did? She just smiled really big and said 'Well...you lucky girl, you!'"

I laughed so hard then, I snorted a couple times. The sales lady had puckered up and blushed like an old schoolmarm. We'd bit our lips to keep from laughing in her face as we put down the clothes we were holding and walked out of the store while she stood there as still as a statue.

I looked down at my small hand holding Jake's larger one. I sensed our connection in that touch, even though he was unconscious. Jake and I had been friends forever, and I missed him dreadfully. Even though I was no longer in love with him, I still longed to have him around. I wanted to be able to tell him when something funny happened, or to go hear his band play.

I wanted that old friendship that used to make us both feel so happy and connected.

I sat beside him silently for the next hour, wondering if he would be okay. I knew his broken bones would heal, but what if he had something wrong with his brain? What if he had amnesia or something, and forgot everything he knew?

What if Jake wouldn't be Jake anymore once he woke up? My mind reeled at the torturous thought; I couldn't imagine my life without his warmth and humor. I felt the hot tears running down my face as I sat up and leaned over him, kissing his forehead through the bandages.

"Are you a friend of Mr. Black?" asked a voice from the doorway.

I looked up and saw a young doctor standing just inside the room. I nodded. "That's good. He's gonna need help when he wakes up. We're actually going to start that process in the next few minutes, and it's going to be difficult so it might be in your best interest if you aren't... in here for that," he said gently.

I choked a little but still managed to nod my head once more. "Do you think... do you think he'll be okay once he wakes up?" I asked futilely. I knew they couldn't possibly know the answer to that until they could examine him.

"That's hard to say, I'm afraid. You can come back in a few hours and if he's able to see visitors, you can see him. I'm Doctor Evenson, by the way," he said, striding across the room to shake my hand.

Doctor Evenson smiled kindly at me from behind his black horn-rimmed glasses. I noticed he had a very nice face. His eyes were bright blue and he had blackish hair and a close-cut beard. I pegged him around thirty years old.

"Thank you, Doctor Evenson. I'm Bella. I'll be back," I replied as I shook his hand.

I turned to leave the room, but before I closed the door, I turned back and said quietly, "Please take care of him."

I found my way back to the waiting room, and sighed in relief as I saw Edward lounging in one of the cushy chairs with an old _Rolling Stone_ magazine. I smiled hugely at him when he looked up, and his return smile was filled with concern.

He stood up as I crossed to him and grabbed the magazine from his hand so I could toss it on the stained coffee table. "They're going to wake him up from the coma now, and they said he can't have visitors for a few hours," I told him.

Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "What would you like to do while we wait?" he asked.

I looked thoughtful. "Maybe we should go eat something?" I asked.

We'd been here since last night, and I hadn't eaten anything of substance since before I got the call from Seth. Edward had tried to coax me into eating some dinner from room service last night, but nothing appealed to my stressed stomach.

I knew I needed to eat, though, so we headed out to the rented car and used the GPS to find a restaurant. I voted for Italian because I knew it would sit better in my stomach than something really heavy, like Mexican.

We ended up at this quaint little bistro in the middle of a square that had lots of little shops and a big fountain in the middle. It looked expensive, but Edward just pulled me out of the car and told me he was going to feed me whether I wanted him to or not. I gave in and let him lead the way.

After we were seated, the waitress came and took our order. I sat back in my chair and regarded my incredibly beautiful man across from me. "Edward," I said.

"Bella," he replied.

"Why are you being so great about all of this?" I asked.

He appeared to consider this for a moment while he swirled his bread in the red wine and olive oil. I watched his hands, transfixed. Finally, he answered, "Because he's your friend. Yes, it bothers me that he's your ex and that he cheated on you, but you still love him and I love you. I couldn't bear to see you so upset. It was within my power to help you, so I did."

I sat there with my mouth hanging open, wondering how I'd managed to find such an amazing man. "You are too much, do you know that?" I said.

Edward just looked at me and smiled that perfectly crooked mega-watt smirk of his before biting off a chunk of his bread. "I know," he said and shrugged.

I laughed and turned my head to look out the window. There was a tattoo shop located kitty-corner from the restaurant. An idea began to form in my head and I turned back to Edward. "How long has it been since you got your last tattoo?" I asked, looking innocent.

"About a year, why?" he asked.

"Well, I've wanted to get another one for a while now. Maybe after lunch we can go over there and check it out?" I said, pointing to the tattoo place.

His head turned and he looked across the square. "Sure," he said and smirked again. I felt the anticipation sing in my veins; I loved getting tattoos.

Edward had his tattoos and I had mine, and sometimes he would stroke his fingers over them in the aftermath of our lovemaking. I smiled at the private thought and asked him what he wanted to get.

"Well, actually, I've been designing one that would represent _The Volturi_ album. It's really personal to me, and there's a lot of good imagery I can play with. For instance, the good vampires have this symbol that represents who they are. I think I'd like to get that," he said.

Our food came then, and I dug in with more enthusiasm than I thought I would. My stomach grumbled from the delicious aroma of the pasta, and I took a huge bite. Edward was more graceful, twirling his pasta with a fork and spoon before bringing it neatly to his mouth.

I rolled my eyes as he leaned over to wipe some sauce off of my cheek with the pad of his thumb. My irritation with his perfection faded when he brought his thumb to his mouth and sucked the sauce off, however. His eyes locked on mine and I felt the heat between us burn out of control.

"Mmm... I'd like another taste of that," he said in his rough velvet voice.

I gulped and brought my water glass to my mouth with a shaking hand. I took a big gulp and set it down without breaking eye contact with him. Finally, I said, "Anytime."

Edward's golden eyes darkened to a light brown and I saw his lips curl ever so slightly. You could cut the sexual tension between us with a knife. Suddenly, I just wanted to get out of here so I could jump his bones. Hell, I'd jump him right here if I didn't think that would get us arrested.

Just then, our waitress returned to the table and asked how everything was in her chipper voice. The hypnotic spell he had me under broke and we both leaned back in our chairs. I took a deep breath and we continued to eat our lunch quietly.

After Edward paid the bill, we walked over to the tattoo shop and looked around. The artists seemed to know what they were doing, so we decided to go ahead and get something. I went first, and the guy drew up my idea on the transfer paper while I waited in the chair.

The other tattoo guy finished the girl he was currently inking and went to get Edward from the front. I smiled as Edward told him what he wanted to get, taking his shirt off in the process.

Nobody knew better than I did how sexy a shirtless Edward could be. His muscles were perfectly defined, unmarred by any blemish. I felt myself beginning to heat up as I watched them ripple across his chest and back.

I had to concentrate on not squirming in my seat to relieve some of the frustration building inside me. The guy, named Aaron, came back with my tattoo and applied the transfer to the skin along my spine. I shivered at the touch of his cold fingertips.

Edward's tattoo artist was drawing as he questioned Edward, and Edward nodded often to show he liked the way the sketch was shaping up. We didn't tell each other what we were getting, but I knew he was going to get his tattoo across his right pectoral to balance out the lion on the left.

I pulled my shirt up, keeping my chest pressed against the vinyl chair as Aaron started my tattoo. I flinched at the initial shock of the needle, but eventually relaxed and rested my head on my folded arms so I could watch Edward.

The other guy, Tony, finished the drawing and put it on the transfer paper. He applied it to Edward's skin and told him to go look in the mirror so he could be sure he liked the placement and everything. Once the design was approved by Edward, they walked back to Tony's station and they settled in to get started.

I watched Edward's face as Tony started tattooing him. He never flinched or pulled an uncomfortable expression; he just sat there and laughed while he joked with Tony. I admired his calm, because I was fighting to keep the pain from showing on my face.

I smiled when Edward looked over at me, checking to see how I was doing. We were a bit too far away to talk without needing to raise our voices, so we just communicated with our eyes and hands.

Over the next two hours, the electrical buzzing of the needles filled the shop. The skin around my spine went numb and I stopped feeling any discomfort. I continued to watch Edward. The tattoo on his chest was taking shape. Tony began the shading on his while Aaron wrapped mine and told me I could get up whenever I felt ready.

I walked over and stood next to Tony and Edward so I could peek at his work. There was an infinity symbol above a sphinx inside a circle. I wondered what it meant.

Another thirty minutes later, Tony completed the tattoo and wrapped it while I wandered the shop, looking at the flash on the walls. Edward put his shirt back on and walked to the front to pay.

"Hey!" I said. "I _know_ you're not paying for mine, too, Edward." I dropped my hands on my hips and cocked one side while I gave him a stern look.

"Shhh... of course not. Let's go," he said as he put his hand on my lower back and went to push me out the door.

I braced my legs and looked up at him. "You just think you can follow me around, paying for everything?" I asked incredulously.

"Uhh... yeah?" he said with a grin.

I just rolled my eyes. "Between you and Alice, I'm surprised the credit cards haven't melted from all the use they get," I said.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go see Jake," he said, pushing me back to the door again.

**A/N: So my hubby made a cameo in this chapter. Who could he be, who could he be? Haha. ****Thanks for all your reviews, everyone! -HIE**


	17. In A Cave

**A/N: So yeah, my hubby's cameo in the last chapter was as Dr. Evenson. Most people guessed one of the tattoo artists. I wish! Well, sorta. But only cuz then I would get free ink. That'd be the shit, for real. I guess I'll settle for having a decent income after he graduates from medical school instead. Boo. I guess I'll be able to afford inking then;) **

**Please check out the one-shots I have up for the Steamy Movie Crossover Contest! I've got The Virginity Pact, The Boy With the Pig Face, and Never a Bride. For the Valentine's Day contest, I've posted Seducing Doctor Cullen. I've been a busy girl! But that means I've also been neglecting my regular stories, and I'm sorry. Hangs head in questionable shame. Sorry!**

**That being said, onward to the next chapter, eh? Oh, just a warning... it's kinda dirty, if you get my drift.... Oh, and it's almost two am and I'm way too tired to catch all my mistakes, so I hope I didn't make any too huge:( **

**Previously...**

"_Hey!" I said. "I know you're not paying for mine, too, Edward." I dropped my hands on my hips and cocked one side while I gave him a stern look. _

"_Shhh... of course not. Let's go," he said as he put his hand on my lower back and went to push me out the door. _

_I braced my legs and looked up at him. "You just think you can follow me around, paying for everything?" I asked incredulously. _

"_Uhh... yeah?" he said with a grin. _

_I just rolled my eyes. "Between you and Alice, I'm surprised the credit cards haven't melted from all the use they get," I said. _

"_Yeah, yeah. Let's go see Jake," he said, pushing me back to the door again. _

BPOV

We were back at the hotel now that the visiting hours at the hospital were over. I slumped down on the bed and patted the spot next to mine, shooting Edward my best "come hither" look. He smiled crookedly, jumped lightly up next to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Do you think Jacob will be okay?" I asked him quietly, lying my head on his shoulder.

"I think he will, but it might take awhile. I don't want you to worry yourself sick over it, but it's possible that he may have some difficulties when he wakes up," he answered honestly.

I nodded and we spent the next few minutes in peaceful silence. I was so worried about Jake, but there were a lot of reasons to be worried for Edward, as well. "What about the new album?" I reminded him.

"Well, I was actually just on the phone with Alice while you were visiting Jake. She said I'm needed in the recording studio in a couple days, actually," he replied.

"I see," I said. I dropped my head onto the pillow behind me and looked up at him. "What am I going to do without my Edward Cullen support group?" I joked lamely.

He sighed dramatically before collapsing on the bed next to me. "I guess you'll just have to make do with phone calls and emails, hon. I'm sorry," he said.

"It's okay, really. You've already done too much for me as it is," I replied before curling around him.

"How long do you think you'll stay here?" he asked, looking concerned.

"I'm not sure. I definitely think I should stay at least until Billy gets here to stay with Jake. I would feel horrible just leaving him here all alone without the other guys." I twined my hand in his short messy hair, pulling him down so I could touch my nose to his. "Why, you gonna miss me?" I asked as I batted my eyelashes at him.

He kissed the tip of my nose before answering. "Every day in every way, my Bella," he said.

I felt a tickle in my nose as the tears threatened. How Edward had managed to worm his way into my heart so quickly, I would never know...but one thing was certain: he was there, and he was there to stay.

"Maybe I'll be able to come back with you, if Billy gets here before you go," I replied hopefully.

"We'll see. In the meantime, I guess we'll just have to make the most of the time we have together," he breathed as he nuzzled my neck.

I felt the lust from earlier return tenfold as his firm lips slid over my neck and up behind my ear. I closed my eyes and moaned, my body melting into a puddle around him. "You're _way_ too good at this, you know?"

"Oh, I know it...and I intend to take full advantage of it, too," he whispered into my ear before sucking my earlobe into his mouth.

"Argh!" I grumbled, trying to crawl on top of him.

"Hey, you know, we could always watch a movie," he teased with wide eyes.

I shot up, throwing myself on top of him. "Yeah _right_!" I yelled, outraged.

He chuckled as I applied myself to molesting him with fervor. Honestly, I needed to release some of this pent-up stress; what better way to do it than to throw myself at my ridiculously sexy boyfriend?

"Call me dense, but...are you trying to have your way with me, Isabella Swan?" he asked, chuckling.

I sat up and rolled my eyes at him. "Do I need to crack open the mini bar and get you drunk? 'Cuz I _totally_ will if you don't shut up and get your pants off _NOW!_" I replied huffily, my eyes narrowed into slits as I straddled his lap.

"Okay, okay! Jeez, it was just a question!" he said, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

I should have known he would turn this around, but I was too busy being blinded by the Edward Cullen peep show extravaganza going on in my very own hotel room.

He got up to stand next to the bed, taking his sweet time undressing. His golden eyes burned as he watched me watching him peel his t-shirt off over his head. My eyes devoured his chest, never tiring of the beautiful contours of his lean muscles.

"When are you going to show me what _you_ got?" he asked with a wicked smile.

"Oh, you know, once you're all naked, I'll probably get that way myself," I replied nonchalantly with a flick of my wrist.

I watched as his pants hit the floor with gusto. I wondered what had happened to his underwear, because all I could see was a massively appealing erection pointing right at me...and I was all too willing for it to get closer.

I made a move to grab for his dick, wanting to get this show on the road. My hormones were a'moanin and I couldn't wait to get him back on the bed for some good old fashioned sweaty sex.

Edward evaded my hand and I scowled at him, getting impatient now. "Nuh uh uh," he said teasingly. I growled. He reached down to pull my shirt off, being careful of the new tattoo on my back. I allowed him to finish undressing me, but I wasn't going to mess around much longer; I wanted him too badly.

His eyes bored into mine as he hovered over me, placing his hands on the bed to cage me in. He leaned forward, his face coming close to mine. I mewled in my throat, feeling the moisture soaking the bedspread beneath my naked pussy.

"Do you want me, Bella?" he asked huskily, his eyes roaming over my face intensely.

"Yes!" I whimpered, trying to grab his ears so I could drag him down for a kiss. He pulled back his head and I dropped my hands so that was propped up on my elbows, leaning back. Edward advanced once more, his left knee coming up to rest beside my thigh on the edge of the bed.

"Do you want me to fuck you 'til you forget why you're here?" he asked in a rough, hushed tone, sending electric tingles up and down my spine.

"Aahhhh," was all I could manage to squeak in response. I was now shaking in my need for him, but he remained removed from me, hovering without touching any part of my body. I could smell his spicy scent, mixed with the scent of my own arousal.

"Good," he growled. His left hand stayed planted on the bed as he lifted his right hand and ran it down my torso. His calluses brushed over my aching nipple, and I felt a lightning bolt of lust shoot straight to my drenched pussy. He used his hand to push me back onto the bed as he crawled over me, bringing my left leg up to wrap around his waist.

He entered me in one swift movement, and I arched my back as I screamed out with intense pleasure. Edward's hardened length thrust into me forcefully, again and again, while I writhed on the bed beneath him. The sound of his skin slapping against mine made for an erotic soundtrack while he pounded into me. He'd never been like this before, and I found it completely fucking hot.

I grabbed onto his hair, bringing his mouth down to mine for a scorching kiss. His tongue forced its way into my mouth, and I strung my arms around his shoulders to keep him there. I pushed my hips up into his as his cock jackknifed into me over and over, bringing me ever closer to a massive climax. His hand reached down, flicking my clit as he pounded into me. I felt the orgasm build, and as if sensing it, he bent down and bit my neck. The action sent me into orbit, and I came apart all around him as I screamed his name.

Edward wasn't finished, however, because he quickly flipped me over. I crawled to the middle of the bed on all fours, and Edward crawled up behind me. I looked at him over my shoulder as he rubbed a hand down my spine. "You are so fucking sexy, you know that?" he ground out as he entered me again.

I just moaned, too lost in sensation for actual words. He was true to his word, fucking me until I forgot who I was and why I was here. I gave myself over to the experience, allowing Edward to have his way with my body.

His heavy thrusts continued, and his right hand reached down to rub firm circles around my clit once more. His balls slapped against me as he hunched over me, putting everything he had into the motions. My whimpers and cries became increasingly louder, and I knew I was close to get another mind-blowing orgasm.

Edward's left hand gripped my hip as leverage for his thrusts. His back bent over mine, and I felt the sweat drip from his chest down onto my back. I wanted more, but I didn't know how to ask. I moaned, pushing back against him.

"You want more, baby?" he growled.

"Yesssssss... pull my hair!" I demanded, surprised at myself. Edward didn't hesitate, though. His hand left my hip to reach up and tug on my hair, not painfully, but just enough to have the desired effect. I moaned, biting my lip as my eyes closed in ecstasy.

"Who knew you were such a bad girl in the bedroom?" he teased hoarsely, his voice breathless from exertion.

I didn't know what to say, but it didn't matter anyway, because I was totally lost in my second amazing orgasm. I clenched around him, screaming for him to come with me. He pounded into me faster and faster as his own climax washed over him. His guttural moan washed over me, his hips grinding against my backside as he came deep inside me.

My name fell from his lips over and over, and I knew that he was just as amazed as I was by what had just taken place. He pulled out and collapsed on the bed next to me, his hand lightly stroking my back. I fell on my side, my hip joints crying after the position they'd just been in. I groaned tiredly, dropping my head onto his sweaty shoulder.

We were quiet for an awkward moment as both of us processed the dirty monkey sex we'd just indulged in. Hair pulling and dirty talking was _definitely_ not our usual, and I didn't know what he would be thinking about me right now.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to crack a joke. "So, was it good for you, baby?" I asked in a sleazy dude tone.

To my immense relief, Edward chuckled and turned to wrap his arms around me. "Do you promise to still respect me in the morning?" he asked in a high-pitched girlish voice.

We laughed breathlessly, enjoying the moment. We cuddled up together, content to be together. I had to lie on my stomach, thanks to my new tattoo, and Edward took the opportunity to take a peek.

"A snake? What's that all about?" he asked, sounding surprised.

"After I broke up with Jake and decided to go back to school, I was reading a book on symbolism and the snake is supposed to symbolize renewal and sloughing off the old junk in your life," I explained sleepily.

I felt his finger trace lightly over the tattoo through the plastic wrap covering it. His touch tickled me, but I was too spent to squirm away. I turned my head into my pillow and mumbled something before passing out, blissfully relaxed.

A/N: Aw, that Edward, always knowing what a girl needs. I mean, hey, I'm stressed. I wish Edward would come boff **MY brains out! Sheesh. I guess I should go to bed now, seeing as how it's almost two a.m. I updated two stories in one night, and I am totally spent! I hope you liked this chapter... it was kinda dirty, huh? Teeeeeheee. OH WELL! (Fuck I'm tired, can you tell? Sorry!) -HIE**


	18. Resurrection Fern

"Are you warm enough, beautiful?" Edward asked as he reached out to shut the water off.

I nodded and drew my legs up to my chest in the huge bathtub. "Thank you," I said simply as I wrapped my arms around my legs and laid my head on my knees. I smiled at him sweetly while he knelt beside the tub and swirled the water around with his hand.

"You're welcome. Do you want some music?" he asked with a beautiful grin.

"Naturally," I replied. I watched him stand up and leave the bathroom to put some music on the stereo in the bedroom portion of the hotel room. I closed my eyes and sank into the bubbly scented water when I heard the gentle, soothing tones of Iron and Wine drifting through the air.

Edward came striding back into the bathroom and sat down on the floor next to the tub once more, getting comfortable. "I love this song," he said quietly.

"Me too," I whispered. "I wish I could have Sam Beam sing me to sleep every night. Whenever I listen to him, I imagine him perched on the edge of my bed, serenading me..." I admitted without looking at him.

Edward laughed softly. We listened to the words of the song in peace. "I've always wanted green eyes, you know," he said quietly, not wanting to ruin the tranquility spread between us.

I leaned toward him and brushed my wet fingertips down the bridge of his nose. "I think you would be beautiful with green eyes, but I love you exactly the way you are. Thank you for being here with me," I said tenderly.

"I'd follow you anywhere, my beautiful Bella. You only have to ask," he said as he opened his eyes to kiss me sweetly on the mouth.

"How did you get to be so wonderful?" I mused aloud.

Edward smiled and reached out to brush the hair away from my ear. He leaned in and whispered into my ear, "On the contrary, Bella. _You _are the one who makes the world light up with your beautiful eyes and your wonderful smile."

I shivered at his words and his nearness. I had no idea how I'd gotten so lucky when I met Edward, but I thanked my lucky stars for him every night before I fell asleep. He was the one person I knew I would never take for granted in my life.

Edward relaxed back onto the floor and I allowed my stressed muscles to relax in the steamy, aromatic water. "You know this tub is big enough for both of us," I mumbled.

He smiled. "I know, but you needed to relax. If I get in there with you, it'll be less about you and more about _us_," he replied. How could I _not_ be madly in love with this man? It was like asking someone not to breathe, honestly.

We drifted into silence as the music set the perfect mood for my relaxing bath. Edward was humming softly as his hand continuously swirled the water.

Once the water began to cool, he reached over and pulled the plug to drain the tub. He grabbed a fluffy towel from the pile next to the sink and held it out for me to step into. He gently rubbed every inch of my body, removing each drop of water with care. His lips drifted over my shoulders as he inhaled deeply.

"You smell so good right now," he said into my neck. I turned to look over my shoulder and smiled at him.

Edward dropped the towel, picked me up, and walked into the room. He deposited me on the bed and went to grab a bottle. "What's that?" I asked curiously.

"Massage oil. I'm going to put these magic musician hands to work," he said with a soft chuckle.

I stretched out on my stomach and my eyes closed in anticipation. Edward gave _amazing_ massages; I supposed it was due in large part to his strong hands he got from drumming. "You're too much, you know that?" I asked him as I peeked at him with one eye half-open.

"I know, but you love it, so don't even try pretending you don't," he teased as he began to massage my tired, sore, stressed muscles.

"What am I gonna do without you here?" I whined.

"I'm not sure. You'll probably have to find some poor bellhop and make him your love slave," he joked.

He rubbed me down thoroughly for about thirty minutes. His voice and hands lulled me into a deep sleep.

I woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing about three hours later. The lights in the hotel room were off and the blinds were drawn, so it was pitch black. I shuffled around in the dark, praying I wouldn't trip as I found my purse and pulled out my phone.

"Hello?" I said.

"Bella, have you heard from the hospital yet?" Charlie asked over the phone.

"No, why?" I replied, feeling panic rise in my chest.

"Jake apparently woke up about an hour ago. The doctor just called Billy to tell him the good news. Apparently he's gonna be okay," my dad said.

My shoulders relaxed as I comprehended his words. "Seriously?" I asked, afraid to trust the news.

"Yeah, they said he's still in a lot of pain from his injuries, but it looks like he'll make a full recovery," he replied.

"Thank god!" I exclaimed.

I heard Edward sit up in the bed and turn on the bedside lamp. He looked at me questioningly and I hurried my conversation with Charlie so I could tell him the good news. "Jake woke up, and the doctor said it looks like he's going to be okay."

Edward's sleepy face brightened into a smile. "That's fantastic, Bella. Do you want to go see him?"

I nodded and he climbed out of bed to find his clothes. I looked at the clock on my phone and saw that it was only an hour before visiting hours were over. "We'd better hurry," I told him.

We were out the door and on the way to the hospital fifteen minutes later. I fidgeted in my seat and willed the car to go faster; I needed to see that Jake was okay with my own two eyes.

Edward laid a comforting hand over mine and squeezed gently. "I'm sure he'll be happy to see you," he said.

I just bit my lip and held my breath as we searched for a parking spot. I practically dragged Edward through the hospital and up to Jake's room. I stopped short in the doorway when I saw he had a visitor.

The pretty girl with the long black hair looked up at me, surprised. "Bella?" she asked uncertainly.

"Leah? When did you get here?" I asked, confused.

She looked down at her hand grasping Jake's. Jake was looking between the two of us with a tired and confused expression on his face. "Bella? When did _you_ get here?" he asked me in a voice raspy from disuse.

Wow, _awkward. _"I've been here since you were brought here, pretty much. Billy couldn't fly yet and the guys were forced to leave," I tried to explain, feeling completely uncomfortable.

Edward's warm hand was still wrapped in mine, and he tightened his grip encouragingly. "Hey, man. It's good to see you're okay," he said to Jake with a smile.

Leah looked just as confused as Jake did, but her face also held a measure of guilt. "I didn't know you were here, or I wouldn't have come..." she told me.

I looked over at her. "Why not?" I asked curiously.

She blushed and pulled her hand away from Jake's. "Because...because of what happened. I never apologized to you, and I should have." she said guiltily.

I waved my hand and smiled at her. "Don't worry about it. I think it's all worked out for the best, don't you?" I said as I squeezed Edward's hand in return and smiled up at him.

Jake's eyes narrowed slightly at my actions and I wondered what he was thinking. Edward seemed to sense something, so he made up a lame excuse about grabbing a cup of coffee from the vending machine down the hall. Leah, also very perceptive, offered to go with him.

Once we were alone, Jake cleared his throat awkwardly. "So, you flew all the way out here to watch over little ol' me?" he asked with his familiar charming smile.

I walked over to him and stroked down his arm. "I sure did, but maybe I see that it wasn't my place anymore," I said honestly.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

My eyes drifted to the door and back to Jake before I responded. "You're with Leah now; she should be the one sitting by your side," I explained.

"Yeah, Leah... she just got here today, I guess. I hadn't talked to her since that night at the show. She said she felt too horrible about what happened, because she had no idea I was with you," he said.

"But she's here," I told him, feeling like I was missing something.

"I know. I guess she heard about the accident through the grapevine and she made up her mind to come see me," he said with a small smile playing on his face. I knew that smile; it was his goofy infatuation smile.

"Well that's...that's actually really awesome," I said with a big smile for him.

Jake looked up at me and grasped my hand in a friendly way. "Yeah, it really is. I think I could seriously fall for this girl, you know?" he confided.

"That's really great, Jacob," I said honestly.

He looked like he was considering something before he spoke again. "So...you and Cullen, huh?" he said, somewhat awkwardly.

My smile grew wistful and dreamy. "Yeah... me and Cullen," I sighed.

His eyes widened and he laughed loudly. "Man, Bells, you didn't waste _any_ time, did you?" he teased.

I drew my hand back from his and flushed in annoyance. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?" I hissed.

"Hey! No, I didn't mean it like _that_, honest!" he said with his hands outstretched towards me, trying to calm me down. "I just meant that you obviously didn't waste any time falling in love with him."

I exhaled deeply and relaxed. "It's true," I admitted with a rueful smile. "I tried to hold back, but, well... he's just..."

"Yeah, I don't need the details. Save those for your chick friends," he joked with a friendly smile. "But I'm really glad to see you so happy and well taken care of," he said with simple honesty.

"I really am, Jake. I really am," I replied happily.

I leaned over the bed railing and hugged him gently before I said my goodbyes. Out in the hallway, Edward and Leah were standing together awkwardly. I smiled and grabbed his hand. "We can go now," I told him.

Edward smiled and said goodbye to Leah. I turned to her and looked her straight in the eye. "He's yours now, okay? Take good care of him," I told her.

Leah looked slightly shocked at my words, but she quickly nodded and turned to return to Jake's room. I caught Edward looking down at me approvingly and I smiled self-consciously. "What?" I asked.

He shook his head and chuckled. "Nothing. You're just so amazing," he said with a grin.

We left for the hotel, making plans to call the airline so we could fly home tomorrow.


	19. I Want Your Flowers

**A/n: long time no update, huh? Well, I guess I just needed to find my muse. She keeps escaping me, dammit. I hope you like the direction I've taken them, because I debated it with my beta for a long time before I felt confident enough to put this chapter up.**

**This story is coming to an end, so be sure to check out my new stories. I've updated my one-shot "The Virginity Pact" with the second chapter about Jasper and Alice, so go check that out. The new story is called "The Virginity Pact Continues!" Also check out Delusions of Grandeur for a stormier non-fluff story. **

**Big shout out to Adrena for helping me get out of my muse-less rut:)**

**P.S. I didn't wanna gyp you out of the Euro tour, but I've also never been there so I felt like I would just sound like an idiot trying to write too in-depth about it. Sorry. **

**3**

BPOV

I stood off to the corner of the stage as I watched Volterra play the last song of their set. We were on the last stop of the European tour, and I couldn't be happier because that meant we could go home and relax for a few months after this.

The kids of London were lovin' on Cullen & Co. I saw them screaming along with Emmett, pounding their fists to Edward's drums, and stomping around the pit with wild abandon. I loved it. The band had gotten some major publicity touring over the summer, and people were starting to take notice. Edward seemed blown away by all the hype, but I could tell he secretly savored it.

I watched his face as he drummed with ferocious pleasure. I adored seeing that expression, because it showed up whenever he was doing something he really loved. The guys were about to wrap up their set when I felt a wave of dizziness knock me to my knees. It was really hot in the club, so I figured I just needed some fresh air.

"Bella! Oh my god! Bella!" I heard Rosalie yell as she crouched down beside me.

Her arms wrapped around me and pulled me up onto her lap. I didn't have any energy in my limbs to hold myself up, so I flopped like a rag doll. I felt the blood rush to my head and suddenly, Edward was there reaching out for me.

"Bella! Are you okay?" he yelled with such a concerned look on his face. He pulled me into his arms and pulled back to look me in the eye. "Did you pass out?" he asked.

I felt much better now, but still slightly dizzy. "Yeah, I'm okay now. I think I just need to get some fresh air and some water, and then I'll be top notch." I replied weakly.

Edward and everyone else was gathered around me, but they fell back as he half-carried me outside through the back door of the club. Alice popped out and handed him a bottle of water, which he opened and handed to me. I drank deeply as I leaned against the damp brick wall of the alley.

He stood close to me, obviously afraid I was going to faint again. He reached out to brush the hair away from my face and held my flushed cheeks in his hands. "Are you really okay?" he asked quietly.

I nodded, but the motion set off the nausea suddenly roiling in my stomach. Without warning, I bent at the waist and vomited onto the pavement, only able to turn enough so I didn't get any on Edward. I felt his cool hands holding my hair away from my face and stroking down my back in soothing circles. When I was done retching, I stood up and took a sip of the water to rinse my mouth out. My cheeks burned with embarrassment as I peered up at him through my lashes.

He still looked worried, so I tried to comfort him. "I'm feeling much better now, actually. I just wish I had my toothbrush with me," I said with a grimace. I swished more of the water around my mouth, hoping to rid it of the foul taste.

He nodded and wrapped his arms around me. "Let's go back to the hotel so I can get you settled and take care of you, okay?"

"But what about everyone else? This is the last show of the tour! We can't just leave them!" I tried to protest. "I feel a lot better, honestly. Please, don't let me ruin this for you guys," I pleaded.

Edward stopped and looked down at me, considering. "You're sure you don't want to go and rest?" he asked skeptically. I nodded and tried to smile, though honestly, my stomach was still a little queasy. He sighed. "Okay, then, but if you feel sick again we're going to leave," he warned.

"Okay," I said with a reassuring smile.

Everyone was waiting for us inside the backstage door, looking worried. "Bella, are you okay?" Alice asked with a worried expression on her face.

"Yeah, thanks for the water. I just got too hot in here, I think," I lied. I still felt sick, so I knew it couldn't be something as simple as that. I figured I was probably coming down with the stomach flu or something, which really sucked, but I wasn't willing to let that ruin tonight.

Edward's hand was still rubbing my back soothingly as he turned back to his family. "Okay, so where do you guys wanna go eat?" he asked.

Eventually, everyone agreed on a place near the hotel and we were off. The wait was short since it was late at night, so we got a table easily. It was a charming little greasy spoon cafe with red vinyl booths and Formica tabletops. The wait staff wore red and white retro uniforms with little caps. Everyone placed their orders and we sat back to wait for our food.

"So, what's next?" Emmett asked Edward with a firm slap on the back.

"Well, Lex wants us to start recording our next album within the next few months. I'm not sure we'll be ready to follow up _The Volturi_ yet, though. What do you guys think?" Edward responded.

The Cullens started debating what they could work on next and they kept right at it until the food came. Everyone had ordered big greasy cheeseburgers except for me; I'd ordered a salad. I just knew I should go light on my stomach after the incident in the alley.

The smell of grease and cooked meat accosted my senses and I felt the queasiness return tenfold. I couldn't help my reaction: I slapped a hand over my mouth and ran for the bathroom, hoping I would make it there in time. I heard someone hot on my heels, but I couldn't make myself stop and see who it was.

I made it to the stall just in time. I retched for what seemed like hours until my stomach was just heaving uselessly. I realized then that Alice and Rosalie had followed me into the bathroom and were trying to comfort me. I dropped onto the floor and leaned back against the wall, refusing to think about the fact that I was in a public bathroom. "Thanks you guys," I said weakly.

Alice leaned down so she could look me in the face. "Are you coming down with something, Bells?" she asked.

"I think I'm getting the stomach flu," I replied through tight lips.

Rosalie left the stall and came back with some wet paper towels. She wiped my face and neck with them, cooling me off. I groaned in appreciation and stood up with Alice's help. "Do you want to leave?" she asked. "I can get Edward to take you back to the hotel."

I shook my head. "Actually, I'm feeling better again. Let's just go back and hang out," I replied. Rosalie and Alice led me back to the table reluctantly and we sat down across from the guys.

Edward's face held a scowl. "We should go," he said. "You're obviously sick."

I shook my head. "I'm good now. I think it was just leftover from before," I reassured him.

Alice grabbed her burger and went to take a huge bite. I looked down at my salad and my stomach twisted, not with nausea, but with disinterest. I gazed back at Alice's burger; suddenly, it was the only thing that sounded good to me. She noticed my lustful glazed look and gave me a strange look in return. "What?" she asked. "Do I have mustard on my chin?"

I smiled. "No...uh, actually that just looks _really_ good right now," I answered honestly.

She smiled suddenly and handed over the burger. "Maybe you're _not _sick, after all," she said with a twinkle in her eye. I just grabbed the cheeseburger and started chowing down, pushing my salad to her with my free hand. Alice just laughed and stole Jasper's burger before shoving the salad in his direction.

"Hey!" he protested.

"Eat your vegetables, Jasper," Alice said with a wink. He grimaced and poured dressing all over it before taking a huge bite.

EPOV

I watched Bella devour Alice's cheeseburger with gusto and wondered how she could eat all that after throwing up twice. I figured she'd come down with the stomach flu, but she wouldn't have an appetite if that was the case.

Suddenly, realization dawned. I did some quick counting and figured the timing would be about right. I felt my pulse race as I thought about the possibilities. I didn't say anything, though, because it just wasn't the time or place for getting into it. I finished my burger and stood up. "Hey, Rose? Can Bella go back to the hotel with you guys? I need to pick up a few things at the store."

Rosalie and Alice nodded. I didn't look at the guys, because I knew Emmett would get all curious and try to come with me. I grabbed my coat and kissed Bella on the cheek before I walked quickly out of the restaurant with an excited spring in my step.

Whatever went down in the next few hours, I knew I was happy. I didn't have a worried bone in my body.

BPOV

I laid in the bed and waited for Edward to return. Old reruns of Alf were on TV, so I watched with half-hearted disinterest. I looked up when the door opened and Edward walked in, looking wind-blown and pink in the cheeks. He was carrying a small white paper bag.

"Hey, handsome," I greeted him with a smile.

He crossed over to me and sat down on the bed. He leaned in for a kiss and I obliged him happily. "What did you need at the store?" I asked curiously.

Edward smiled and pulled a familiar-looking pink box out of the bag. Before now, I'd only ever seen it on commercials with an annoying brunette woman or on a shelf next to the condoms in the family planning aisle. My eyes widened as I looked down at it; did he seriously think I was _pregnant_?

Wait. I did the math in my head and gasped. "I..."

"You can take it tonight, if you'd like to. I'm pretty curious, myself, so I don't know if I could bear to wait for morning," he said with a twinkly-eyed grin.

I was speechless. Of course I'd known for a while now that I wanted to have Edward's babies, but I hadn't planned on it being _now_. What would I do if I was pregnant?

"You mean what would _we_ do if you were pregnant," he said, suddenly looking worried. "Wait...would you be upset? If you were pregnant, I mean?"

_Shit, I must have said that last though out loud. _I bit my lip and looked up at him. "Of course not, bubba. I would be thrilled; I just don't know if we're ready," I replied breathlessly. I mean, I was completely in love with the idea of having Edward's babies, but what about the band, and the next record, and my school, and Charlie, and his family, and... the list went on and on.

His smile grew wide. "Oh, if you _are _pregnant, there's an entire nine months to prepare, so don't worry about that," he said with a wink. He pushed the test into my hands. "Now go in there and find out if I'm gonna be a daddy."

I felt tears fill my eyes at his sweet words. I grabbed the box and ran to the bathroom with anticipation zinging through my veins. I'd never taken one of these before, but it didn't look too complicated, so I dropped trou and went to work. I set the alarm on my phone for three minutes and laid the test on the counter before walking back out to find Edward pacing in front of the bathroom door. "Nosy much?" I joked with a grin.

He turned and grinned right back at me. "How long do we have to wait?" he asked anxiously.

I looked at my alarm. "Two more minutes," I told him.

We stood there and held our breath, just staring at each other with wide-eyed wonder. I could tell he was just as excited as I was, and I could hardly hold myself back from trampling over him to get to the bathroom when my alarm went off.

He reached it before I did and picked it up off the counter. He looked at it with a crease between his brows, obviously trying to figure out what it meant. "Wait, two lines means pregnant, right?" he asked.

I stopped breathing. "Yes!" I cheered. Edward handed me the test and I stared at it with absolute joy spreading through my body.

"Mama," he said with the sweetest expression on his face I'd ever seen.

"Papa," I replied with tears running down my cheeks.

We dove for each other and embraced, completely thrilled. He pulled back and took my hand, leading me back to the bedroom. I sat on the bed while he went and rifled through his bag. "I guess this means I can give you this now," he said.

I saw the small black box and felt my heart stop for a moment. "Is that what I think it is?" I asked, daring to hope.

He walked over to me and got down on one knee in front of me. "It is." He opened the box and showed me a delicate, breathtaking ring that looked like an antique. The breath I'd just inhaled stuck in my throat as I looked at him. He took a deep breath and his beautiful golden eyes locked on mine. "I've been carrying this around for months, just waiting to be sure you wouldn't turn me down," he looked sheepish, but he continued: "I remember when I first saw you at the show in Seattle. All I could think about was how I should probably avoid you because you belonged to someone else. I couldn't keep myself away from you, though. You just drew me to you with your intelligence and your humor, and most of all... that sweetness that makes me just want to give you the entire world. I know you're probably scared right now because we're going to have a baby, but I hope that you'll believe me when I say that I'm _so _excited to have this adventure with you, Bella. I've known for awhile that you're the one for me, and I can only hope that you feel the same way."

I sniffled. "Do you know why I cried the first time we made love?" I asked him. He nodded and his brow crinkled as he tried to anticipate where I was going with this. "Well, it's because I'd realized that I was just so in love with you. I haven't been able to imagine a life without you since then. I'm not scared right now, I'm just surprised. I want this baby, and all the babies who will come after this one...and I want you, now more than ever," I finished.

Edward's face was priceless. He cleared his throat and held the ring up to me. "Then marry me, please."

I laughed because he'd made it sound like such a polite request. I grabbed the ring and put it on my finger. "Okay. Just tell me when and where, and I'll be there," I replied with a sloppy, teary grin.

We both laughed in sweet release and fell back onto the bed. I wanted him to touch me, but I was afraid it might hurt the baby. I turned on my side to face him, my head propped up by my elbow. Edward was laying on his back, grinning up at the ceiling of the hotel room like an idiot..._or the happiest man in the world_, a small voice whispered inside my head. I cleared my throat. "Ahh...Edward?" I asked tentatively.

He turned to me with the idiotic grin. "Yeah?"

I blushed a bit, feeling suddenly nervous for no apparent reason. "Do you think...I mean, I'm not sure about it, but do you think it's safe for the baby if we..._you know_?" I struggled to ask.

He looked confused for a minute before comprehension dawned on his face, and he laughed. I pinched him on the arm, upset that he'd laugh at me at a time like this. "I wasn't laughing at you, I swear. I just thought it was cute," he explained. "It's totally fine if we have sex. Is that what you're asking?" he said with a devilish grin.

I blushed again. "It's either that or you go out and find me some ice cream with gummy bears and Butterfingers in it," I said dreamily, suddenly realizing how good that sounded.

Edward laughed heartily. "...and so it begins!" he said with a mock shudder. I punched him playfully.

"Shut up and get naked, you clown. I wanna see if having sex with my fiancé is different from having sex with my boyfriend," I ordered with a silly laugh.

"Whatever the pregnant girl wants, the pregnant girl gets," he announced with a long-suffering sigh as he stood up to pull off his shirt and pants. I got busy wriggling out of my clothes while I kept my eyes glued to his body. _Yessssssssssssssssssssss. _

EPOV

Thrilled, thrilled, beyond thrilled. I couldn't stop my hands from shaking as I undressed under Bella's watchful gaze. Her dark eyes were shining with love and desire, and I knew my eyes were reflecting the same emotions. "Music?" I asked her with a nod toward the stereo in the corner. She nodded, so I crossed over to my CDs and found the one I wanted to listen to.

As the music started, I crossed back to Bella and lay down on the bed next to her. I reached out for her, and she came to me willingly. I stroked my hands down her soft skin, over her shoulders and her back. When I got to her waist, I wrapped my hands around them and kissed her with quiet tenderness. She was going to be mine forever, and I couldn't stop the passionate happiness that surged through me at that thought.

My hands drifted to her belly and stopped beneath her belly button. Her hand came up and her fingers wrapped around mine. She kissed me with heat and I moaned into her mouth a little. The most perfect song in the world came on in this moment, but I didn't know if she realized it because she looked lost to the world while I kissed her.

I pulled away and kissed around her jaw, neck, and up to her ear. I whispered the lyrics along with the song, trying not to feel _too _cheesy.

"_My hands shake, our minds race from the thought of love._

_Yet we curb our speech because words are not enough_

_To wedge this instant, burn this moment into our memory._

_Let go, take my hand and trust in me._

_Bella, can't you see that we were meant to be?"_

Bella pulled back and smiled at me. When the next verse came, she sang it into my ear so sweetly that my soul clenched.

"_I admit I would guess your touch could_

_Fill me with such thoughts to marry you, have your babies too._

_Is it too good to be true?"_

I turned my head and kissed her deeply before replying. "Come here," I whispered. The mood was too delicate for loud words. Bella crawled over me and I wrapped my hands in her hair, kissing her in earnest now. She writhed over me and I could feel her wetness against my straining erection.

I rolled us over and looked down at her. "I guess we don't need to use condoms now," I said with a little smile. She snickered softly and licked her lips before pulling me down by my hair for another drugging kiss. I was prepared to show her just how much I loved her.

My lips drifted across her chest, over her collarbone, to dip down to the valley between her breasts. "Are they sore?" I asked her softly, referring to her breasts. I definitely didn't want to hurt her.

She nodded. "A little," she admitted. "But they're bigger, too. It's weird," she said.

I kissed each breast tenderly, careful not to put any substantial pressure on either one. "They're beautiful," I told her. I tried to imagine in my mind what her breasts would look like while she fed our baby, and the vision pierced my heart. I was actually making a family with Bella.

Her small hands ran up my sides and wrapped around my shoulders and I slid down her body, peppering her with kisses along the way. I stopped at her belly and laid a kiss just beneath her belly button before whispering, "hello in there." Bella smiled sweetly at me and ran her hands through my hair, lightly scratching my scalp. I groaned and continued kissing down to where I wanted to be.

I pushed her thighs apart and blew a hot breath over her entrance. Her legs quivered as I pushed them over my shoulders and prepared to dive into her wet center. My fingers separated her folds and I stroked her repeatedly with the tip of my tongue, wringing my name from her lips. I worked on her for awhile while she moaned and arched her hips off the bed.

My body couldn't hold out much longer, and I could tell she was close, so I pulled away and stroked my way back up her body until I felt the head of my erection at her entrance. It was slick and wet with her juices and my saliva.

Reaching down, I pulled one of her legs up to wrap around my waist. She bent the other one and planted her foot on the bed while I thrust forward, entering her slowly. The sensation of being inside her without any barriers between us was intensely erotic. I never knew what an aphrodisiac it could be to know that there was nothing between us, just skin and wet, hot heat.

She moaned in a way I'd never even heard before. "It's so sensitive!" she gasped. I groaned and pushed inside of her further, hissing at how tight and wet she was.

We moved together in perfect harmony. The music dimmed as my focus narrowed to her face and body. My universe consisted of the two of us...our choppy breathing, our mouths pressed against each other, our bodies moving in time to a song only we could hear. We didn't need the artificial music anymore, because our souls were now singing together naturally.

Bella's luminous brown eyes locked on mine as our rhythm sped up. "I love you," she breathed. My need for her increased and I pushed into her deeper and faster. I felt her muscles clench as she cried out and came all over me.

The feeling of her wet muscles milking me was too much, and I pushed into her one last time before I came. When my orgasm hit me, I saw stars... well, really I saw tiny pinpoints of light behind my eyelids as I shouted Bella's name over and over.

I collapsed half on top of Bella and half on the bed, replete. I ran my fingers through her hair and pushed it off her neck so I could nuzzle it and breathe her in. "Mmm, you smell like all my favorite things," I told her with a goofy smile. Bella laughed and smacked a big kiss on my forehead.

"Are you ready to go home tomorrow?" she asked.

I pulled her tight into my side and wrapped my body around hers. "Definitely. I want to just have some major downtime and chill out with the whole family. We've been gone for so long now," I answered.

Bella's hands stroked through my hair as I laid my head on her breasts. "I know what you mean," she replied. She reached over with one hand and turned out the lamp on the bedside table, and we both snuggled down deep into the big bed.

So this is the beginning...

I think I rather like it.

**A/N: Thoughts? Love it, or hate it? I wasn't going to have this happen, but I really felt like I wanted a _happy _and supportive Baby Dadward. Know what I mean? **


	20. A Thousand Strands of Sunlight

**A/N: A gazillion years, at least! I'm terribly sorry, but I was sooooo swamped with school. I'm out til fall now, so I've got three unadulterated months of writing ahead of me. I'm also working on my book this summer, so let's hope that stays on track, eh? **

**Song is Jeremy Enigk's "Been Here Before"**

BPOV

Alice was sitting in the hotel lobby with a smug smile on her face, surrounded by luggage. I approached her warily and set my singular, extremely beat-up duffel bag next to her pristine and undoubtedly expensive set of designer suitcases without meeting her eyes directly. Something in my gut told me she already knew the news we'd be giving to our families as soon as we got home from Europe and figured out what we were planning to do.

Edward came up behind me and wrapped one arm around my waist before kissing me on the temple. "Did you get enough sleep?" he asked solicitously.

I nodded and turned to give him a quick kiss, handing him the key card for our hotel room in the process. While he went to go check out at the front desk, Alice practically vibrated excitedly in her seat but waited patiently until I gave in and made eye contact with her. "Hey, how was the rest of the celebration?" I asked, trying to avoid that knowing look in her eyes.

"It was good. Are you feeling any _better_ today?" she asked with wide eyes.

"Yes, thank you. I think I just had an upset stomach," I hedged.

"Okay, well I'm glad you're over it," she replied with a wink as Jasper and Emmett walked up to join us.

"Hey, where's Rosalie?" Alice asked Emmett.

He sighed and scratched his head. "She's busy trying to shove all the clothes she bought into her suitcases still. I swear that woman thinks she's only a knock out if she wears stuff that costs hundreds of dollars...I mean, all she _really _needs to do is walk around naked. That's her _best_ look," he said with a doofy grin.

I rolled my eyes but had to laugh because Emmett was just too cute sometimes. He turned to me with a concerned look. "Hey, you still pukin'?" he asked.

"Nope, not today," I lied. In truth, I'd thrown up twice this morning, but my sweet Edward had brought me some seltzer water and saltine crackers to help with the nausea, and it helped.

"Huh, well I hope it's not contagious. Imagine a transatlantic flight with everyone throwing up!" he replied with a comical shudder.

Alice patted his thick forearm and turned back to me as she said, "Oh, I wouldn't worry if I were you, Emmett. Bella caught something all right, but it's not contagious."

I gasped and pressed my lips together, hoping the guys wouldn't notice. Jasper gave his girl a funny look, like he knew she was hiding something up her sleeve. "Why wouldn't it be contagious?" he asked suspiciously.

Just then, Edward came back to us and Rosalie came huffing out of the elevator. "There, I got it all! I _told_ you I could, Emmett!" she said loudly across the lobby, drawing a lot of looks from others.

Thank god for interruptions, eh?

I grasped onto Edward's arm and clung for dear life while we watched the bellman load all of our luggage into the bus taking us to the airport. "Edward, Alice must know," I hissed in his ear as everyone else was distracted.

He looked down at me with a grin. "Everyone will know soon enough, so I wouldn't worry about it. Are you scared of breaking the good news or something?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I just don't know how she could have figured it out before _I _did," I replied grumpily.

He laughed and caressed my hand soothingly. "Because, dear Bella, you are insanely unobservant when it comes to yourself sometimes."

I grumbled and he chuckled quietly as we climbed into the van. We watched the city go by outside the windows on the way to the airport and I wondered how everyone in our families would take the news. After all, my father hardly knew Edward because he was gone a lot, not giving them much time to bond and get to know each other. I guess we'd just have to see how all of this played out.

Edward's hand wrapped around my left hand and I felt his fingers press against the stone on my engagement ring. I'd turned it to the inside of my hand until we could tell everyone. I suppose I could have removed it, but once Edward had put it on last night, I knew I wouldn't ever take it off.

EPOV

I'd already decided what I'd like to see happen once we got back to Washington, but I still had to talk it over with Bella first. After that, I'd have to discuss things with my brothers and sisters before I could finalize my decisions. I assumed the record label wouldn't be happy with what I planned to do, but I found myself mostly unconcerned...Bella and our baby and our future were the important things now.

The flight was incredibly long, and by the time we landed at SeaTac, Bella looked especially haggard. Her poor body was going through so much right now, and I felt bad that I couldn't do more for her right now. If I could have avoided her flying in the first trimester, I would have, but there really wasn't anything to be done about it. Carlisle would probably have my head for letting her fly with his grand baby on board; I smiled at the thought. My parents had been making hints about their lack of grandchildren recently, and I knew that they both loved Bella and would approve of our news.

I drove home because everyone else looked ready to drop into unconsciousness before we even hit the freeway. Bella sat across from me in the front seat and I could see her worrying her lower lip as she stared out the front window with a concerned look on her face. "Are you worrying again?" I asked her quietly, trying not to wake the others.

She sighed and shrugged. "It's just, what are we gonna do? I can't go on the road with you, and I know you won't wanna leave for long periods of time, either."

I glanced in the rear view mirror to make sure everyone was asleep before I responded. "Actually, I think I have a solution that will keep everyone happy."

She turned and looked at me. "Okay...what is it?"

"Okay, so my biggest thing about music is writing and recording; I love to perform, but I don't really think I'll miss going on tour. Especially if it means leaving you," I began.

Bella looked suspicious immediately. "You're _not_ giving up your music for me, Edward," she warned under her breath.

I sighed. "Just listen, okay? I'm not giving up music. I want to open my own recording studio and hopefully start an indie label with Volterra as my first band after our contract runs out. I can record and play on the albums, and then we can have a drummer who goes on tour with everyone else. That way, I'm still part of the band, and I can play some local shows with them, but I won't have to leave you alone," I explained.

Bella was silent for a moment, obviously turning this over in her mind. "Yeah, but will the label let you do that?" she finally whispered back.

"Logan Whitehurst did it with The Velvet Teen," I informed her.

"Yeah, but he had brain cancer. He _couldn't _go on tour with them," she refuted stubbornly.

"Look, I'll just tell them I'm not willing to go on tour anymore, and they'll _have_ to find someone to take my place," I replied confidently.

_I hope. _

When we got home, it was almost two in the morning and Bella was asleep in the passenger seat, along with everyone else in the van. I turned on the interior light and shook her awake gently. "I would carry you, but I have to get our bags," I whispered when she looked at me groggily. She nodded and climbed out of the van, her limbs clumsy with sleep. The rest of the van emptied out and the Cullen zombies marched for the house. Jasper carried Alice, who was always dead to the world once she fell asleep. I definitely didn't have enough muscle power to carry all of _her_ luggage on top of mine and Bella's, so I decided to leave that for him.

I wasn't exactly _nervous_ about tomorrow, but I wasn't too sure with how our parents would react. Granted, Bella and I were both in our twenties and well out of the time when a pregnancy would have been horrible, but still...we were young. Besides, Bella's father was ready to brain me after catching me without a shirt on, so what _exactly_ did I think would happen when I announced I'd knocked her up?

_Yikes_.

Instead of dwelling on Charlie, I turned my attention back to Bella as I climbed up the stairs behind her. She looked exhausted, but hopefully a night in a familiar bed would fix that. When we reached the top of the stairs, I set our bags on the landing and reached out to swing her up into my arms. She protested half-heartedly but allowed me to carry her the rest of the way to my bedroom. Once there, I set her down on the comforter and gently began undressing her. She collapsed back on the bed and gave me a little grin. "So eager to reacquaint yourself with your bed?" she teased.

I grinned back and brushed a kiss on her knee as I removed her jeans and shoes. "Eager to see those bags beneath your eyes disappear. You need rest, and not just for yourself," I replied. I was relieved to be home with Carlisle and the familiar hospital nearby in case Bella or the baby needed anything.

After she was stripped down, I threw her a t-shirt from my dresser and went to get the bags. By the time I returned, she was already fast asleep curled up on her side with her hand tucked beneath her chin. She looked so adorable. I smiled to myself and thought about how lucky I was to have her in my life.

I felt too energized to sleep now that we were finally home, so I decided to check my email and listen to something relaxing to calm me down. I booted up my computer and found my headphones so I wouldn't disturb Bella's sleep. Once I could get online, I plugged them in and picked a Pandora station that would keep things chill. Nothing quite like a little Pedro and Sunny Day to help me unwind after such an epic fucking European tour.

The first song to pop up on my station caught me and I leaned back in my computer chair to close my eyes as I lost myself in Jeremy Enigk's distinctive voice. The words, as always, got me...but this time, I had Bella's face in my mind while I listened.

_"A diamond gaze  
A thousand strands of sunlight in her eyes.  
Don't wanna give away what I've taken back.  
Run away with you toward the night."_

I was happy to have some time to myself to think before Bella and I announced our engagement and upcoming parenthood. I needed to speak with my siblings about the band before I said anything to anyone else, because I badly needed and wanted their blessings.

After returning some emails and updating the band's Myspace page to let our fans know the tour went really well, I finally felt the jet lag land on me like a ton of bricks. I wove my way to the bed and lay down with Bella, curling up behind her with a protective hand covering her belly before I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning dawned with Alice's face hovering about a foot away from my own. Jasper was hovering near the door, looking rumpled and unshaven. I groaned and tried to roll over, but she wasn't having it. "Edward, we need to talk! Wake up!" she demanded, looking excited. _What the hell could she possibly be excited about before ten a.m.?_

Alice's voice must have roused Bella from her sleep, because the next thing I knew, she streaked across the room toward the bathroom and retching sounds emitted from behind the haphazardly-closed door. I shot up into a sitting position and stared in the direction of the doorway with concern churning in my stomach, but one glance at Alice revealed her smug expression. I turned to see Jasper looking a little green around the gills at hearing Bella throw up, and I couldn't blame him. I threw off the blankets and decided to go check on Bella, but Alice threw out her hand to grip my arm. "I'll go. You just get everyone else together so we can discuss this," Alice said firmly.

I knew then that she knew exactly what was wrong with Bella. I nodded at her and took a deep breath to brace myself for whatever would happen now. I told Jasper to stay in my room while I went to get Emmett and Rosalie so we could all talk privately.

Once everyone was assembled in my room, I took a seat next to Bella and she wriggled her hand into mine. I took another bracing breath before facing my brothers and sisters. "Okay, so here's the news: Bella and I are getting married...and I'm going to be a father," I said, laying it all out there.

Rosalie and Emmett looked shocked, Alice looked smug and excited, and Jasper still looked queasy. I wondered if he was unhappy, or if he really was just queasy from hearing Bella throw up; it wouldn't be unlike him, though, because Jasper was always really empathetic when it came to the people around him. I gave him a questioning look, but he shook his head and gave me an encouraging smile. "Congrats, bro. I'm really happy for you," he said. I bent my head in acknowledgement and turned to see how Rose and Emmett were taking the news.

Emmett had recovered enough to ask, "I'm really excited for you, dude. You know how much I love you and the Bell-Bells. Just... what's gonna happen with the band now? I mean, with touring and stuff?"

I turned to look at Bella before answering. "Well, that's where I'm going to need you guys to think about some options. I've personally been considering staying here and maybe opening up a recording studio in Seattle. I'll still be in the band, still record and play local shows, but maybe we can have a drummer for the tours. I haven't asked the label about it yet, but I can't see them being too put out by the idea."

Everyone was silent for a moment as they considered this. I looked at Bella and saw her gnawing on her lower lip; I didn't want her feeling so nervous, so I turned to everyone and tried to clarify something: "You guys, I just wanna toss it out there. Nothing has to be decided today. I also want to say that Bella didn't tell me to do this; I decided for myself."

Rosalie's eyes were downcast until I'd said that; I watched her look up and release her stiff shoulders. "Why can't we just ask the label if you can take a...a paternity break or something? I don't think anybody really wants to go on tour _without_ you, Edward."

I hadn't really thought of that, but at this point the idea of running my own recording studio had grown on me. I decided to wait and see what everyone else had to say before I gave it more thought. "Alice? Jasper? Emmett?" I asked curiously.

Jasper was always the really logical and level-headed one, and he was always the one to decide the best course of action. He slapped his hands on his thighs and heaved a heavy sigh before making direct eye contact with me. "I think you should go for it. You've been the driving force behind Volterra this entire time, but I can't say that we'll fall apart if we have to go out on the road without you. You're going to be a family man now, and I'd kick your ass if you made any other choice. Just do what you need to do man, you know?"

"Thanks, man," I replied with a grateful smile. He nodded and smiled in return.

Alice stuck her arm under his and gripped his hand in hers before bouncing a little bit and smiling hugely. "Edward, this is _so_ great! I'm really, really excited for both of you. I know that everything will work out. I'm not worried in the slightest. We can talk to the label and start holding auditions for a new drummer as soon as you're ready."

The last person yet to speak was Emmett. He looked reluctant, and that made me nervous. Emmett and I had been the ones to convince the others to form the band, and I didn't know how he would take this news now that I was seeing his dismay. "Dude, just spit it out, please!" I urged him.

He scrubbed a hand over his face before speaking. "Dude, now I'm gonna have Rose hounding my ass to knock her up. Way to ruin it for the rest of us!"

We all sat there in shock. Rosalie took the pillow from behind her back and thwapped Emmett on the head with it..._hard_. That's when Emmett's deadpan face fell away and he cracked up. "Okay, okay. I'm kidding! Jeez! This is all really crazy, but its crazy awesome and I'm really stoked for you guys!"

Everyone laughed; relieved Emmett wasn't _actually _a douche bag. We should have known, I guess.

Rosalie still looked a bit huffy, though, so he wrapped his big arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. She rolled her eyes and growled a little, but he held on anyway. "And anyway, _I'm _actually the one begging Rose to let me throw a bun in that oven. I mean, fuck, what could be more badass than having a little Emmett Jr. running around??"

That did it. People just couldn't keep from laughing at this lovable doofus. We were just crazy about this guy; it couldn't be helped.

After everyone calmed down, we were ready to meet with our parents and announce our decision. Bella looked vastly relieved, and that made me happy. I was worried she would stress out about this more than she should, and that could be harmful for the baby. I rubbed her back in soothing circles as we all headed downstairs to talk to the parents.

"Are we going to see Charlie later?" I asked her when we reached the living room. She nodded and bit her lip again. "Calm down, it'll be okay. Besides...I already told him I was gonna marry you."

Bella gaped at me. "You _already told my father you were going to marry me_?" she asked incredulously.

I laughed and winked at her. "Well, I don't think he actually believed for even a minute that you'd lower your standards enough to tie yourself to me for all eternity, but there you go."

She looked like she wanted to hit me, but she just sighed and shook her head instead. "You're ridiculous, you know that? Remind me why I'm doing this again?"

With that, I pushed her to the wall and laid a kiss on her that, according to my calculations, should melt her toes in about five seconds. I pulled out all the stops: smoldering eyes, fingers in the hair, one leg planted between hers, and the ever-popular pre-kiss head dip that never failed to make her knees weak. Sure enough, Bella was a pile of mush by the time I pulled away from her with a smug smile on my face. I laughed outright when she breathed, "Oh yeahhhhh..." with a dazed expression on her face.

The others wolf-whistled after I turned around and saw them all standing there. I'm pretty sure I blushed, but considering the fact that I'm a grown ass man, I'll never admit to it. I pulled Bella over to the couch and sat down just as Esme and Carlisle walked in. "Hey kids, what's up?" Carlisle asked.

I cleared my throat and held Bella's hand in mine while I explained the good news for the second time today. Esme already had those sentimental tears in her eyes before I was finished with my explanation, and she was looking at Bella like she was the vessel of the Christ-child or some such thing; it would actually be really amusing if I didn't feel the exact same way whenever I looked at her these days.

Carlisle looked quietly pleased and proud, and that made me feel really good. "Well, congratulations, my son." He shook my hand and turned to Bella with his arms outstretched for a hug. I released her hand and she stood up, looking a little wobbly and emotional. "Welcome to the family, Bella. You are most definitely a welcome addition," Carlisle said to her warmly.

Bella sniffled a little as she hugged Carlisle. Esme pushed him aside and squealed a little (not hard to figure out where Alice got it from) as she embraced Bella enthusiastically. "Oh, Bella. I couldn't possibly be happier with Edward's choice. I'm just _so excited_!" When she pulled away from Bella, I saw tears glistening in both women's eyes.

Hormones, I swear.

The guys all retreated to the kitchen by some unspoken agreement, leaving the women to talk weddings and baby stuff. Who knows? Once in the kitchen, there were a lot of back-slapping and heartfelt congratulations.

Now we just had to break the news to Charlie.

BPOV

"He's a good man, Bells. I'm happy for you," Charlie said as he dried the dish I'd handed him. We were in the kitchen washing up after lunch, and he was taking the news surprisingly well. I almost felt kind of suspicious, but then he explained himself better. "When Jake was in the hospital, I saw the way Edward supported you. Hell, the way he went with you to be by your ex-boyfriend's side, and to top that off, he even bought Billy and me tickets to go, too...Well, it just really impressed me. Please believe me when I say that you two have my wholehearted blessing."

I was stunned and thrilled. I felt tears brewing again, but I was used to it by now; after all, it didn't take much these days to turn me into a weepy mess. "Daddy, I love you. Have I told you that lately?" I sniffled as I wiped my wet hands on a dish towel. I gripped him in a tight hug and buried my head in his shirtfront. His arms came around me and I breathed deeply, absorbing the scent of peppermint and pine from the front of his flannel shirt. My daddy had the best smell in the entire world...

Well, aside from Edward.

Speaking of Edward, he was in the living room sitting awkwardly awaiting the verdict. Charlie had made him sweat a little during lunch, but the wait was over now. I stepped back from Charlie and smiled at my father. "Can you go put him out of his misery now, you ruthless man?" I joked with a laugh.

He grinned and winked at me before walking out to meet Edward. I peeked around the corner to watch him approach Edward and shake his hand firmly. "Welcome to the family, son."

Edward looked pleasantly amazed. "You...you mean it, sir?"

Charlie guffawed and slapped him on the back. "Yes, I do. You're a good man, and I'll be lucky to have someone like you as a son-in-law. I know that you'll take good care of my little girl. Besides...having a little one around will keep me on my toes."

Edward saw me peeking around the corner and his happy smile nearly blinded me. I stepped out to walk over to the two most important men in my life. "This is...I'm so...so..." I said before bursting into tears. Edward and Charlie both reached for me instantly, their outstretched arms colliding with one another in their attempts to console me.

"Bella, honey, what's wrong?" Charlie asked, alarmed.

"Yeah, baby, are you okay?" Edward asked.

I nodded and wiped some snot on my shirt sleeve. _Eww_. "I'm f-f-fine, I'm just...I'm just _so happy_!" I choked out between sobs.

With that, Charlie looked at Edward and patted his shoulder comfortingly. "Oh, I remember those days. A barrel of laughs. Good luck, son. You'll need it."

Edward looked at me like I was a crazy woman. I could see him fighting the urge to back away from me slowly, as if I were some rabid animal. "Bella, baby, can I get you anything?" he asked weakly.

Charlie shook his head and chuckled before retreating to his chair to watch the news. I looked at Edward and the tears dried up instantly. "Actually, you know what sounds good? A Blizzard! Oooh! A Butterfinger Blizzard!"

Edward's tense shoulders dropped and he wrapped his arm around my waist. "Ha Ha, okay hon. Let's go."

With that, we said our goodbyes to Charlie and I impatiently awaited my ice cream. This was gonna be _so _good; I just knew it.

Edward looked over at me and smiled before pulling out onto the road. "Well, here we go," he said.

I knew he was talking about more than just departing Charlie's house. We had our whole future set out in front of us.

And boy, did it feel good.

**A/N: Okay, yeah, dude. I've been gone forever. Blame Nietzsche's philosophy and Rilke's writing for that, k? I'm done with my epic class schedule until the fall, so I'll have **_**plenty **_**of time to finish up my stories. Don't chu guys worry, k? I'm going to finish, I promise. **

**I estimate two more chapters of OAG from this point. The wedding and an epilogue to come!:) **


	21. For Me This is Heaven

**A/N: It's 3:33 AM and I am fuckin ti-red! Anyway, here is the long-awaited last chapter of Only As A Guest. There will be an epilogue to follow this, but this is where my 1-year-old story comes to an end. I'm so happy that I could share this with all of you, and I'm happy to know that you cared enough to soldier through this with me. This is my first FF and it has taught me a lot about myself as a writer, so it will always have a soft spot in my heart. **

**So sit back and please enjoy this. The epilogue will be up soon-ish. **

**No beta on this chapter (except for myself), so please excuse any errors you might see. Adrena is currently about to get married in Vegas, so that's where my motivation to write this chapter came from!:)**

**Thanks again. **

**The song listing for this chapter can be found in my profile, but most specifically, you'll want to hear Iron and Wine's "The Sea and the Rhythm." Dew it. **

BPOV

_One month later..._

"Alice, I can't believe we were able to actually plan this wedding in one month. I mean, look at this place! It's fantastic," I said as I spun around in wonder, looking at the Cullen's back yard with impressed eyes.

Alice stood next to me in her copper bridesmaid's dress, looking beautiful as always. Her eagle eyes took in each detail, from the placement of the white folding chairs to the simple and elegant flower arrangements flanking the archway beneath which I would become Mrs. Edward Cullen in a matter of hours.

At that thought, my stomach took a nervous dip, causing me to way slightly. I clapped a hand over my stomach as the butterflies threatened to beat their way through my skin. Seeing this, Alice turned and swiftly lowered me into one of the chairs. "Bella! Oh my gosh, are you okay? Is the baby okay?" she asked with great concern.

I realized then how alarming my actions must have been for poor Alice. I felt bad. "Oh, no, I'm okay...we're okay. It just really hit me for the first time that I'm getting _married _today," I explained with a wave of my hand.

Alice's tense body relaxed and she smiled ruefully. "You're only now just realizing that? Why not when you tried on you wedding dress, or when you and Edward found a place to live?"

I rolled my eyes. "I have no idea, Alice. I'm just saying that I'm getting a teensy bit nervous here, and I'm hoping you will calm my ass down so I can walk down this aisle in a few hours and marry the man of my dreams and future father of my unborn child without puking my guts out!"

She laughed lightly and ran her hands in soothing circles on my back. "Oh, Bella, it'll be okay. Edward is so excited for today. It's quite sweet, really. Rosalie and Emmett have a bet going to see if he'll cry when you guys do your vows. He's saying no way, but Rose claims Emmett better cry weep with joy when she marries him."

I chuckled and realized that Alice was able to take my mind off the prospect of walking through the crowd of eyes that would all be on Edward and me. "Thanks, Ali. I needed a laugh."

We both raised our heads to look back at the yard again. The sun would set in a couple of hours, as we'd planned to hold the ceremony at twilight. There would be lit candles in the glass lanterns lining the long red-carpeted aisle laid out between the seven rows of seating on each side. At the end of the aisle was the arch covered in deep red roses. I'd initially been wary of picking such a cliché flower, but Alice's idea of red and copper for the color scheme had finally won me over. It looked incredibly romantic with the wild red roses in bloom.

"Okay, bride-to-be, it's time to start getting ready. The cake has arrived, the kitchen staff has begun preparing the desserts, and the band will be here soon. Let's go," she said as she helped me stand. I snorted but kept my mouth shut; ever since we'd announced my pregnancy, everyone had fallen all over themselves to assure that I was handled with care.

I could only hope Edward wouldn't be _too _gentle tonight. I mean, it was our wedding night, after all.

That saucy thought kept me in a state of anticipation that kept the nerves at bay as my girls worked to beautify me for the ceremony. Rosalie used a big curling iron to form loose curls in my hair before pulling the sides back, leaving the rest of the hair tumbling down my back. She attached the veil to the crown of my head and stamped her approval on the finished product.

After that, Alice did my make up. I didn't want a lot, but I did want to look nice for the pictures we would take right before the ceremony. Under her deft hands, I still looked like me, but a more polished and enhanced version. I was pleased and grateful not to look like a clown on my wedding day.

There was a soft knock on the door and Rosalie went to let my mother in. Since Alice was currently spraying my hair with an entire can of hairspray to keep it from moving an inch, I couldn't jump up to embrace her. Instead, Renee took a seat next to me and gave me a big smile. "Hey, baby. How are you doing?" she asked.

I loved my mom and all her infinite wisdom. She'd taken all of the things that had been handed to her in life and made the best of them; I admired and loved her greatly for always having such a positive outlook. "Hey, Mom. I'm good. I'm a little bit nervous, but I'm sure everything will be fine so long as I don't throw up on Edward's shoes or step on the hem of my dress and flash everyone."

Renee laughed and took one of my hands in her own, rubbing it briskly. I felt instantly comforted by her soothing touch. "You'll do beautifully, I know you will. I just saw Charlie arriving with Edward and the other boys, and I must say...they all look very handsome," she said with a wink.

I blushed as I tried to imagine how Edward would look in his tuxedo. _Down girl, we've still got a lot of time between now and bedtime!_

After my hair and make up were set, I stood and Alice instructed me to raise my arms above my head. I stood stock still as the girls lowered my wedding dress over my head and settled it down around me. The dress was strapless and white with a copper colored ribbon wrapped around the empire waist. I'd gone with the empire waist to give my body room to grow, but so far I only had a slight curve to my abdomen that seemed to fascinate Edward endlessly whenever we were in bed together.

Rosalie zipped up the back while Alice knelt and fluffed the dress around me. I resisted the urge to look in the mirror until they were done, but I could see the sentimental tears gathering at the corners of my mother's eyes as she watched me getting dressed. "You look radiant, baby," she said with a sniffle as she pulled a handkerchief from her clutch purse to dab at her eyes.

Once Alice was done at my feet, she stood and turned me to the floor-length mirror in the corner of the guest bedroom we were getting ready in. I stepped up to it and gazed at my reflection in the mirror.

When I looked, really looked, I saw a woman staring back at me. The woman I had become in the last year was a far cry from the girl I'd been the first time I'd met Edward. Today, I could see my dark brown eyes shining with a knowledge that had been gained through the experiences I'd lived through.

I'd become a confident woman who could recognize her own worth and that was something that I hoped would always stay with me. After today, I would be a wife and a mother. I would have Edward by my side as our child grew inside my body. When he or she was born, I would have a family that lit up my entire world.

"Bella? Honey, it's time," Alice said from behind me.

I snapped out of my reverie and turned to her with a watery smile. She saw the threatening tears and came forward to hug me, careful not to crush my dress or mess up my hair. "Can I tell you how much I love that you're going to be my sister? I can't imagine a better person for my brother to marry. You two make each other so happy."

"I'm so happy, Alice," I sniffled.

She pulled back and smiled brightly at me before Rose came over to hug me as well. "Bella, you look absolutely stunning. I _know _Edward is going to swallow his tongue when he sees you. He loves you so much."

I had to work _very _hard to keep from crying, but a few tears still managed to slip loose. I patted them carefully with the blue embroidered handkerchief I'd received from Esme at my bridal shower and quickly tucked it into my cleavage for later.

"Do you have your vows?" Alice asked. She was taking her role as maid of honor _very _seriously.

"Yes, I do, thanks," I replied with a grateful smile.

"Okay, girls. Let's go!" Rosalie said with an enthusiastic clap.

We descended the stairs carefully and walked out to the front of the house where the photographer would be taking our wedding photos. I stood just inside the doorway until they called for me, because the photographer wanted to get that "first look" shot that was so customary. I peeked out to see Edward and his groomsmen posing for the camera, and I had to draw a deep breath when I saw how gorgeous he looked in his tuxedo.

"Okay, is the bride ready to come out?" called the photographer.

"Yes, she's here," Renee said as she looked at me and reached a hand out. I gripped her hand as I stepped out onto the porch and zeroed in on Edward's face as he turned to look at me.

His expression was...worth everything. His face was so radiant when he saw me that I could have sworn the sky had opened up and sent all of the light in the universe to filter through his face. I held my breath as he began walking toward me, slower at first and then faster until he was practically barreling through the people between us. I smiled at him when he finally reached me.

"Bella," he breathed in awe. I couldn't hold back the tears that were out to ruin my meticulous make up job.

"Edward," I replied.

His hands came up to cup my shoulders softly. "You look...you look like a goddess. I should just drop to my knees now and worship you for the rest of my days."

My heart wrenched at his sweet words. "I thought you were already planning on doing that," I quipped, afraid of the enormous sense of eternity I was feeling between us in that moment.

He smiled and bent his head to kiss me, but Alice had to go and yell, "Edward Cullen! Don't you dare kiss her until the ceremony!"

His eyes shut as he exhaled deeply. "Alice..." he ground out in a warning tone I'd rarely heard before. I felt a shiver of excitement ripple through me. "She's mine and I'll kiss her if I want!" he shouted back with a pout.

I laughed and danced out of his arms so we could get the photos over with. "Not yet, mister. I'll be yours in about an hour," I said with a wink.

"Um, daylight is fading, folks. We need to get this show on the road," the photographer warned.

We took our places and he snapped several shots of the wedding party, the immediate families, and finally a bunch of just Edward and me. He was a very good photographer and I knew we'd be very happy with the outcome.

We'd decided that Edward, along with Emmett and Jasper, should wear Chucks with their tuxedos. Esme and Alice had argued against it, but after the guys swore it was either that or those corny tuxedo t-shirts, they gave in. I personally thought they were all really cute in their formal tuxes with their casual shoes, but I was also wearing flat shoes under my dress, so I was biased. Alice and Rose were the only ones in the wedding party wearing fancy shoes because their dresses were calf-length and they both claimed they'd feel more comfortable in heels. Who was I to ruin their fun?

The sun had begun to set and it was time for the ceremony. We headed inside and Edward sneaked a quick kiss on my cheek before running out to take his place by the archway in the back yard. I found Charlie fidgeting with his tie as he waited for me. "Hey, Daddy," I said with a small smile.

He instantly dropped his hand and reached out to hug me before yanking his arms back to pat my shoulder awkwardly. "Um, I noticed no one was allowed to hug you in your dress. You look like a princess, Bells," he said gruffly.

I felt my heart twist again as my father looked at me so sweetly. "Daddy, I love you, do you know that? You will always be my first love."

His cheeks puffed up and turned red as his eyes filled with tears. He looked around quickly before brushing them away. "I know you'll be in good hands, Bell. I know I don't have to worry about you. You're not a little girl anymore, but you'll always be my little girl."

Dress be damned, I launched myself into my father's arms and held on tight. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, Bell."

We parted and he cleared his throat roughly as the acoustic band began playing the song to which we would be walking. I watched as the usher opened the French doors leading to the aisle and Rosalie held up her bouquet of red roses with a radiant smile on her face. She turned back to wink at me before heading down the aisle at a steady and languid pace.

Alice turned to blow me a kiss before following Rose. I watched both of them take their places beside the arch before the music shifted to play an instrumental version of an Iron and Wine song. It surprised me, because I hadn't planned on changing the music for my walk. I stood at the doors as it took me a moment to recognize it as the song we'd listened to the first time we made love.

My eyes snapped up to see Edward's golden gaze locked on me. I felt his presence pulling me down the aisle, and before I knew it, I was beside him. Charlie relinquished his hold on my arm and kissed my cheek softly before sitting down next to Renee. Edward grasped my hand and tucked my arm under his as we turned to the minister in front of us.

I had to fight to keep my eyes from turning to Edward for the beginning of the ceremony. We'd decided to write our own vows, so I was beginning to get shaky at the thought of what I was about to say in front of all our friends and family.

When the time for the vows came, I was the first to go. Edward released my arm so we could turn to face each other, and I pulled the vows from my cleavage with a little laugh. Edward smirked and wriggled his eyebrows at me. I took a deep breath and began to read from my carefully written notes. "Edward, you are the most incredible person I've ever met."

I had to stop and take a deep breath as my voice began to shake and the tears began to fall. I always got embarrassed speaking in front of people, but right now all I could see was Edward. He was staring at me with such radiant eyes that I almost couldn't maintain eye contact. "Your talent goes beyond the music you play; not only do you have the ability to inspire people with your music and your hard work, but you are also kind and loving. You make me feel like the most cherished woman in the world, and I can never thank you enough for that. I take you as my husband today, because I know that it is the best decision I will ever make."

I sniffled and reached for the trusty hanky so I could mop my face. Edward gripped my hands in his firmly as he bent his head to whisper in my ear. "You _are _the most cherished woman in the world."

He pulled back and cleared his throat before looking at me with a huge smile. "Bella, there are no words that could possibly be good enough to describe the way I feel about you. From the moment I saw you, I knew I would be changed forever. You flew into my life like a beautiful bird. _You _are amazing, Bella. Your heart is so big, your spirit and your loyalty are so immense...you are the only wish I could ever ask for. Wherever you go, my love, I will follow you. Please be my wife so that I can spend every day for the rest of our lives showing you just how loved you truly are."

I was shaking as the tears ran freely down my face now. I couldn't think to release Edward's hand to wipe them away. It didn't really matter because they'd just be replaced by more, anyway. The minister nodded and asked for the rings, which Alice and Jasper handed up to us.

"Okay. Isabella Marie Swan, do you take Edward Anthony Cullen to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the minister asked as Edward raised the ring to my left hand.

"I do," I said with certainty. Edward's smile dominated his entire face as he pushed the ring onto my finger with ease.

I raised the ring to Edward's hand and looked to the minister. "Edward Anthony Cullen, do you take Isabella Marie Swan to be your lawfully wedded wife?" he asked.

"Do you even have to ask?" he asked with a chuckle. Everyone behind us laughed before his face became serious and his golden eyes stared down into mine with intensity. "I do," he said with finality.

I pushed the ring onto his finger and the minister announced us. "I give you Edward and Isabella Cullen!" Everyone cheered and I smiled as finally Edward was allowed to kiss me. His warm lips met mine and I felt as if a thousand stars were exploding in my heart. He swung me up into his arms and people laughed and hollered as he carried me back down the aisle without breaking our kiss.

The garden directly behind the house was set up for the reception with small round tables that seated six shaded with gauzy white umbrellas, which weren't necessary since it was dark, but they still managed to set the scene for romance. Small votive candles in deep glass dishes floated on the water among red rose blooms on each table. The kitchen staff wove expertly through the tables, serving people rich desserts and expensive champagne.

My hand never left Edward's as we mingled with our guests and ate our weight in chocolate-covered strawberries. When it was time to cut the cake, we headed to the table set up in the center of the circle. We carefully cut a small portion of the cake and fed each other delicate little bites, careful not to get any on our faces. I always thought it was kind of rude when couples smashed it into each other's mouths.

After that, we spent the rest of the time greeting people and sitting through speeches. Alice gave a heartfelt speech that brought tears to my eyes, and I cursed my pregnancy hormones for making me so susceptible to crying at the drop of a hat these days.

When Jasper and Emmett made their speeches, I was touched by their sweet words.

There wasn't any dancing at the reception, mostly because we didn't have any space for a dance floor. That didn't stop Edward from pulling me into his arms so he could sway with me to the soft music the band was playing, however. He looked thoughtful as we twirled, and I decided to ask him what he was thinking.

"Oh, I was just being nostalgic. Remember that first tour we went on?" he asked me. I nodded. "Well, you were still with Jake and I remembered thinking that you would marry him someday. I think I was already in love with you at that point, and all I could think about was how you'd marry him and I'd be there, too, but only as a guest. I never thought then that someday you'd be marrying _me_."

I felt the tears course down my cheeks at his words. "I'm so glad I did," I murmured softly as I smiled up at him.

After about an hour, I felt my eyelids begin to droop. Edward must have noticed, because he announced it was time for us to leave. Alice and Rosalie swept me up to the guest room where we'd gotten ready earlier and helped me out of my dress. I found the beautiful red strapless dress I'd picked out to wear after the wedding and slipped into it as Rosalie carefully hung my wedding dress up for me to pick up later.

Edward and I would be spending the next week at a bed and breakfast in Port Angeles, because my doctor was worried about me flying in the first trimester. I was almost out of it, so Edward and I planned on having our actual honeymoon as soon as I was okay to fly. I threw my toiletries into my bag and found my packed suitcase by the door, ready to go.

When Edward knocked on the door to gather my bags, I grinned at him. He picked up my suitcase and shot me a wink as he took my hand and led me down the stairs. People were waiting for us to drive off in his Volvo, and sure enough, there were cans tied to the back of it. "Just Married" was written in white paint on the back windows and I grinned mistily.

This baby was making me a sap.

After everyone hugged us and wished us well, Edward helped me into the car and we drove off in the direction of Port Angeles with the music playing softly on his car stereo.

All of a sudden, there was an awkward moment in which I realized that I'd just married him. I turned to look at him and he grinned in return. "What's so funny?" he asked.

I sighed. "I just realized that I married you. I freaking stood in front of a bunch of people and promised to be with you forever. That's crazy. Don't you think that's crazy?" I laughed.

He chuckled. "Well, you're stuck with me now!" he joked.

I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, though, this is just a crazy feeling. I'm kinda just trying to wrap my head around it. It's amazing, you know?"

He smiled and reached over to rub my thigh comfortingly. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

When we reached the bed and breakfast, Edward helped me out of the car and grabbed our suitcases. We checked in and headed up the stairs to the honeymoon suite. There was a bottle of apple cider chilling in a bucket next to a platter of delicate cookies and more chocolate covered strawberries. The room was beautifully appointed with a thick throw rug and some heavy drapes that looked like they could block out every ounce of sunlight if we wanted them to.

There was a huge four- poster bed in the corner with the covers turned down. I turned to see Edward staring at me with hooded eyes, and I felt a shiver of anticipation run up my spine. "Let me just go and get..." I began before grabbing my bag and scampering off toward the huge bathroom. I slammed the door shut and took a deep fortifying breath. That man was just too sexy for my sanity sometimes.

I slipped out of my red dress and removed the thin corset foundation wear I'd been in since earlier today. I sighed at the release and found the nightgown Esme had given to me as a gift at my bridal shower. Did I feel awkward wearing a piece of lingerie my mother-in-law had bought me? You bet your ass I did.

Nevertheless, it was beautiful and I felt very elegant as I slipped on the creamy silk and lace confection. The nightgown positively screamed bridal, but it was very tasteful and sexy at the same time. It fit me perfectly and I sent a silent thank you to my new mother-in-law.

I brushed my teeth and fluffed my hair after removing the pins that held back the sides. I looked exactly how I wanted to, and I couldn't wait to see Edward's reaction.

After turning out the light in the bathroom, I stepped out to see Edward stoking a fire in the wood burning fireplace I hadn't noticed in the corner. He'd removed his jacket and rolled up his shirtsleeves. I padded across the thick carpet and reached my arms out to wrap around his waist from behind. My forehead landed somewhere between his shoulder blades and I inhaled his scent deeply. "Mmmm, I love the way you smell," I murmured into his back.

His hands came up to wrap around mine, pressing them closer to his chest. "Why, Mrs. Cullen, are you coming on to me?" he asked with mock shock.

I felt my pulse thrill at his words. "What if I am?" I asked daringly.

He released my hands and turned around slowly. His hands came up to run through my hair and cup my face. His deep golden eyes scanned over me, taking in my appearance. I watched as his nostrils flared and his eyes grew darker. I knew he liked what he saw. "I guess I'll just have to be a good husband and lay there stoically while you have your way with me. It _is _my husbandly duty, after all," he said in a voice dripping with irony.

I laughed and pulled away to slap at his chest. Without warning, he swung me up into his arms and carried me over to the bed. I gulped as the nerves enveloped my stomach once more.

What was I afraid of, anyway? We'd obviously already had sex before. This was nothing new.

Except it was. Tonight, we were married. Tonight, we would make love for the first time as husband and wife. This was our beginning, and I wanted it to be perfect.

That's a lot of pressure to put on yourself, but I was determined to make this the best experience of our lives.

Edward switched on the music, and I found it was entirely appropriate that it would be Iron and Wine again. I watched as he crossed back over to me. "Let me show you how much I love you, Isabella Cullen. Let me make love to you," he whispered against my lips.

I sighed dreamily. "Okay. I like the sound of that," I whispered.

Edward's eyes stayed on mine as he pushed the straps of my nightgown off my shoulders. His hands were smooth and careful on my skin. I shuddered as his fingers ghosted over my sensitive nipples before gathering my breasts in his hands as if weighing them. "Your body is changing. It's such an incredible process to witness," he said with a note of wonder in his voice.

"Changing how?" I asked curiously.

He smiled and looked down at my breasts. "Well, your breasts are getting bigger. Your hips are wider. You have this beautiful curve on your abdomen. Knowing that you're carrying my baby in there brings out so many emotions in me. I feel like a satisfied caveman on one hand and on the other, I'm terrified."

I was surprised. I'd never heard Edward admit to a weakness, but that's only because I thought he didn't have any. I looked up at him and brushed my hands through his hair, scratching his scalp comfortingly in the process. "What are you afraid of?" I asked gently.

He sighed and smiled down at me. "I'm afraid of how much I already love this little person, and I haven't even met it yet. What if I'm a terrible father and I screw him or her up for life?"

His face was set in an expression of insecurity and doubt, and I couldn't have that. I laughed lightly and cupped his jaw in both hands so I could pull him down for a kiss. "You will be an _amazing _father; I don't doubt it for a moment, Edward. You will show this baby so much. You could never mess this up," I reassured him.

Edward looked mollified. "Are you afraid?" he asked, sounding unsure and hopeful at the same time.

I laughed. "Yes, every day. I'm afraid I'll suck at being a mother, but I also know that I have a lot of good examples around me to learn from, so I'm not too worried."

Edward's shoulders relaxed and he returned his gentle exploration of my body. His eyes stared at me greedily as he stroked over my skin with delicate touches.

I slowly undressed him, drawing it out so we could both enjoy the process. Ever button undone was another kiss on his chest. Every article of clothing removed was another moment closer to when he would be inside of me.

The room was dark except for the flickering light of the fire. I felt like I was wrapped in a cocoon of warmth and love as I stared up into my new husband's eyes. "Make love to me," I breathed.

At my words, Edward lifted and pushed me back onto the comforter. I crawled up until I was in the middle of the massive bed and he came up beside me. For a while, all we did was stroke languidly and kiss deeply. It was enough, but not for long.

Edward's body hovered over mine as he entered my waiting body. The sex we'd had since I got pregnant was amazing, but that was pretty normal according to the books I'd read.

This was different on many levels. The look in his eyes showed me forever, and I could only hold onto him as we joined together as one.

I pushed that thought away and tried to focus on Edward. He was inside me, rocking gently and bringing me to a heightened sense of awareness. I felt every touch of his body against mine, and each sensation brought me to the most intense orgasm I'd ever had.

"You are so beautiful. So beautiful. I love you," he panted as he came inside of me.

We lay there in the dark for a time, completely wrapped up in each other. The fire died down to some smoldering embers and Edward pulled the blankets up around us. I sighed contentedly and tried to hang on when he rolled off of me. He curled around me and we began drifting off to sleep.

My world was now complete.


	22. Epilogue

**A/N: This is it! Sniffle. This is my first fic and it's all done. I'm kinda feeling nostalgic, yknow? **

**Thank you to my beta, Adrena. She started beta reading this about halfway through, and she made it sooo much better. Thanks babe:)**

**Songs: Death Cab for Cutie "Passenger Seat" Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" and Saves the Day "Firefly"**

BPOV

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs were playing in the background as I watched Edward pack up his acoustic guitar on our bed. "Selah, honey, can give you daddy his strap?" he requested.

Selah paused in her twirling with his guitar strap and pranced over to him, cocking a hip out in her brand new tutu. "You forgot to say _please_, daddy!" she said with an exasperated eye roll.

Edward grinned down at her and knelt in front of her. "You're right, I did. Can daddy _please _have his guitar strap, sweetheart?"

She smiled and nodded her head approvingly as if she were a regal queen, as opposed to a pint-sized princess of seven. "Here you go, daddy!" she said as she handed over the coveted guitar strap. Edward took it from her and gently ruffled her dark auburn curls.

"Thank you, baby. Are you ready for your birthday party today?" he asked as he turned to put his strap in the gig bag.

Selah bounced and clapped her hands. "Uncle Em and Auntie LeeLee are gonna be there, right? You promised!"

I laughed and bent down to pick her up, spinning her around and smothering her with kisses. "Yep, Uncle Emmett and Auntie Rosalie will be there at the show. Guess what, baby? They're gonna have a little baby boy soon, so you'll have a cousin in a few months!"

Edward watched us with an excited smile on his face. I looked over at him and we shared a secret smile. Emmett and Rosalie weren't the only ones who would be welcoming a new baby this year, but we hadn't told Selah yet; we were waiting to see how she'd react to her new cousin first.

"A cousin! Oh boy! Can he come live with us too?" she exclaimed excitedly.

Edward chuckled and crossed over to take her out of my arms. He bent forward to kiss me and murmured, "You probably shouldn't be picking her up in your _condition."_

I smirked and rolled my eyes. "I can lift up to fifty pounds, mister. Don't you worry about us," I reminded him as I returned his kiss.

He tossed Selah in the air a bit and raised her over his head to place her on his shoulders. I watched his muscled arms flexing and it made my mouth water. I'd forgotten how horny pregnancy hormones could make me. I'd _definitely _be tucking Selah in early tonight. I met his beautiful golden eyes and winked lasciviously, and he grinned back at me.

"Come on, baby girl. It's time to go!" he said as he picked up his guitar. She gripped his hair in her little hands and squealed when they started walking out of the bedroom. I followed after my little family with my purse and the bag with Selah's birthday presents.

We were having a somewhat unorthodox birthday party (at least for a seven-year-old), but this was what Selah had requested. The club was small and we rented it out for the evening, inviting all of our friends and family. She wanted to see Edward play and she wanted the entire family there. Grampa Charlie was coming and he was picking up Grammy Renee at the airport on the way, and if they'd timed it well, they should be close to the place soon.

Emmett and Rosalie were flying in from California and Alice was driving up from Forks. Jasper was already here because he'd been working on the special song Edward had written and recorded as part of Selah's birthday present. Everyone was really excited.

We got in the car and drove over to the venue. I fielded phone calls from people as Edward unloaded his equipment. Jasper came out to help him and Alice appeared with their daughter who was a year younger than Selah.

"Lila! Yay!" Selah squealed as she ran forward to embrace her cousin and best friend. I smiled at the two girls embracing as Alice walked over to help me unload the birthday presents.

"This is going to be fun," she said.

I laughed. "Oh, yeah. So, how'd the Epic Cupcake Extravaganza go?" I asked her.

She heaved an exaggerated sigh and wiped her brow comically. "It was touch and go for awhile, but they're perfect. Selah's gonna be so excited when she sees them."

Alice had opened her cupcake "boutique" last year, and business was booming. I'd helped her out in the shop a few times, but her whirlwind baking was way too hectic for me. I much preferred my peaceful dark room.

When we got inside, Alice led me over to the gift table that was set up and we relieved our arms of our haul before she showed me the cupcakes in the small industrial kitchen. I was amazed at her talent, really. "These are awesome, Ali! Thank you so much for making these. Selah's gonna go _nuts_."

She waved her hand dismissively and smiled hugely. "It was a pleasure, silly. Now...tell me why you've got that glow, missy. Are we to be welcoming another adorable Swan-Cullen?"

I blushed and looked away. We were planning on breaking the excited news to everyone tonight (after Selah had gone to bed).

She gasped and clapped excitedly. "You _are_, aren't you? Yes! I _knew it_!"

I hushed her but couldn't keep the huge grin off my face. Edward wandered into the kitchen with Jasper and they both gave us a questioning look. "What's the news, ladies?" Jasper said as he walked over to grab a handful of potato chips.

I looked at Edward. "Well, Alice knows, so I guess we can just tell everyone sooner rather than later."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around me. "Your parents just got here, and mine are waiting up front. Everyone else is here and Selah is asking to, and I quote, 'get this party started.'"

We all chuckled and wandered back out into the club. Alice carried the box of cupcakes and the rest of us carried the platters of snack food. Selah, sure enough, was already on the dance floor waiting for the party to start. After we put the food down, Edward crossed to the stage and picked up his acoustic guitar. He began warming up as Jasper manned the sound booth.

"Okay, everyone! We're here now, so the party can get started!" Emmett's voice boomed as he entered through the front door with his arms spread wide. Selah squealed and ran over to him, her curls bouncing out behind her. Lila was close behind. Emmett was Selah's favorite, so she pounced on him first. Lila tried to wrap her arms around Rosalie's middle, but couldn't get far due to her large belly.

The place wasn't packed, but there were probably a good thirty or forty people milling around, chatting and snacking. Some of Selah's friends from school were there, along with Jake and Leah's six-year-old twin boys who thought the sun rose and set on our baby girl.

Leah liked to joke that she'd have to keep them locked up once they hit puberty so Edward wouldn't be forced to kill her boys for fighting over his baby girl. I told her I'd probably be the one locking Selah up, because she was already quite the little flirt.

Edward and Jake had formed a tentative friendship over the years, but they were almost as close now as Edward was with Emmett and Jasper. It was so nice to have Jake in my life still, because I loved him dearly. These days, he was like the brother I'd never had. Leah and I had become quite close, as well, and it was a wonderful relationship for me.

Edward announced he was ready to begin and everyone gathered around the stage. He still loved to play, but he did it rarely because his recording studio was always busy these days. He'd made quite the reputation for himself over the years.

He strummed quietly and cleared his throat before speaking into the microphone. "So, as we all know, today is my baby girl's seventh birthday. She has requested that I play some of her favorite songs, so here goes...Happy Birthday, Selah-bell."

The opening strums of Death Cab for Cutie filled the small club and Edward explained. "Selah first heard this song last year when we were driving home late at night from Christmas dinner at Grandma and Grandpa Cullen's house. She made me promise she could drive me around to this song when she turns sixteen."

His voice began gently, and everyone began to sway to the sweet tune. The song was short, but so heartfelt that I felt my eyes begin to water. When he reached the last verse, he winked at Selah and she giggled.

"_When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride_

_When you need directions then I''ll be the guide_

_For all time. _

_For all time."_

He finished that song and his eyes met mine. "Selah says she likes this song because she caught me singing it to mommy one night, and she demanded that I sing ittonight," he said with a chuckle. With that, he began an acoustic version of "Brown Eyed Girl."

Everyone chuckled as Selah and Lila boogied around the dance floor with Jake's boys. They had so much energy and it was infectious. Soon, everyone was slow dancing to the classic tune.

Edward took a break after a few more songs so that we could have cupcakes and ice cream. Selah opened her gifts and thanked everyone graciously before Edward got back onstage with Emmett and Jasper to perform the special song he'd written for her.

Her reaction to the song was priceless. She went _nuts_. We had Carlisle videotape the whole thing, including the part where Edward pulled her up onto the stage and sang directly to her.

It was the sweetest thing I'd ever seen.

A few hours later, the party was winding down. Selah and Lila were passed out on the couches on the side of the club and we were cleaning up as quickly as we could. Rosalie and Emmett came to say they'd see us tomorrow and then took off to their hotel.

Alice and Jasper helped us finish cleaning up and then took the girls home because they were taking them to the zoo tomorrow.

After that, Edward and I were alone. I smiled tiredly as he walked over and took the trash bag out of my hands. "I think someone needs to sit down for a minute," he said with a mischievous grin.

I frowned suspiciously at him. "What are you up to, Cullen?"

He laughed and pulled me toward a folding chair in the middle of the stage. "I wanted to sing my girl a song. I never told you, but this song has been stuck in my head ever since we met and I think it's finally time to share," he said with a sexy wink.

I obediently sat down and turned to face the stage, where Edward pulled up his guitar and began strumming a familiar tune. It was a lot smoother and calmer than the original, but it was still as familiar as his beloved face. "This one's for you, Bella Cullen. You've given me so much...your love, our amazing daughter, and now...well, hopefully, we'll fill the house with all the beautiful children I know we can make."

I felt the tears begin to slide down my face as he sang.

"_And I know you're under me, but I must confess what's in my head:_

_To me you are the light from a light bulb breaks sometimes_

_and the tender warmth inside is released into my life_

_girl to me you are the light from a light bulb breaks sometimes _

_and the tender warmth inside is released into my life_

_and it smothers me in flames that lick and scorch my face._

_As the smoke reaches the sky know I'm burning tonight._

_Know I'm burning tonight._

_Know I'm burning tonight._

_Know I'm burning tonight._

_Know I'll burn for you tonight."_

When he was done, he set down the guitar and climbed down off the stage. I rushed at him, throwing myself in his arms. "I love you, so freaking much," I cried into his chest.

He laughed and lifted me up until my face was in front of his. He captured my lips in a deep kiss and loosened his arms so I slid down the front of his body. "You have no idea," he whispered softly against my mouth.

We stood there silently, wrapped in each other's arms as the wonder of our life together swirled around us. We had so much to be grateful for, so much to be proud of. We were living this beautiful life, and we had each other. It was much more than I could have ever asked for, but I never took it for granted for even one moment.

This was our happily ever after.

**A/N: So...what did you think? I hope you loved it:) **


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